There are a lot of good ones taken from an SNL sketch where Darrel Hammond played Dan Rather:
"I'm madder than a rained-on rooster about it."
"He may be feeling as strong as an acre of garlic."
"Her new hairdo has more unauthorized guests than a Mexican Motel 6."
"This has been a night of surprises, and here's one more. Carl, go down to the basement. Mabel, get in here, take your clothes off, and put these shoes on. Also the hat. Now, put one leg up on that chair, arch your back and listen to this, ‘cause it’s a humdinger."
"If I was a betting man, I'd say his chances of survival are slim and none - and slim just left town."
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