~ He couldn't find his ass with both hands.
~ Running around like a man with a paper ass in a forest fire.
(Yeah, that one sucks.
)
~ Clinging as tight as a tick in a hound-dog's ear.
(Okay, I just made that one up.
)
~ You can put that where the sun don't shine.
(
Always loved 'that' old favorite.
)
~ As old as dirt.
~ Dumb as a box of rocks.