[ast3r3x]

So I was reminded of a girl I used to know and like in high school. We used to hang out but I was too much of a pussy to ever make a move and so she eventually started going out with somebody else.

Well I hadn't seen or talked to her since then which was probably a year and a half...maybe 2 years. I was reminded of her today and so asked a mutual friend is she was still alive or whatever and got her cell number.

So I want to call her now, but what do I say? Should I even call her? I think I will because I'd love to talk to her again, but I'm not sure if it falls into the creepy category or not. We never really ended talking, just slowly stopped, but it was always on good terms, so it's the only awkward thing is the long period of time.

I'm thinking maybe try and text message first to initiate talking.

[Brad]

No.

Dork.













But we still love you, ast3r3x.

Seriously, though, I think that is definitely bordering on "creepy obsessive guy" territory. I guess the degree of crossing that border depends on whether or not the two of you were actually good friends those years ago. I'd bet, though, that she's got a hulking steroid-sucking boyfriend/lover on a close leash who'd love to beat the snot out of an unsuspecting stalker.

[Messiahtosh]

Go for it. There was a girl I knew in 10th grade, I called her up again in 12th after not talking to her since 10th. We ended up going out 4 days after that phone call. We went out for 7 months. I'd say it's worth a shot.



Of course now she goes to the same college I do, and has a boyfriend named Jed that doesn't attend college.

[Mac+]

It might be best to wait out the relationship a'la that classic Seinfeld episode.

Just remember ast3r3x you don't want to come across as too clingy or desperate, so the key phrase to use is "I'm there for you."

[ast3r3x]

Originally Posted by Brad But we still love you, ast3r3x. Seriously, though, I think that is definitely bordering on "creepy obsessive guy" territory. I guess the degree of crossing that border depends on whether or not the two of you were actually good friends those years ago. I'd bet, though, that she's got a hulking steroid-sucking boyfriend/lover on a close leash who'd love to beat the snot out of an unsuspecting stalker.

Well we were pretty good friends, we talked on IM all the time, and hung out several times. One of the nights was christmas eve, that's got to count for something?!

Well actually broke up with her steroid sucking love who was the reason we stopped talking. Found this out while talking to our friend.

Creepy huh? Yeah I thought it was borderline...sucks

Originally Posted by Messiahtosh Go for it. There was a girl I knew in 10th grade, I called her up again in 12th after not talking to her since 10th. We ended up going out 4 days after that phone call. We went out for 7 months. I'd say it's worth a shot. Of course now she goes to the same college I do, and has a boyfriend named Jed that doesn't attend college.

The only difference is in high school your still around each other. I mean same school and everything. Maybe it's not, just seems a bit different to me.

If Messiah says it's a good idea, I better be worried.

Originally Posted by Mac+ It might be best to wait out the relationship a'la that classic Seinfeld episode. Just remember ast3r3x you don't want to come across as too clingy or desperate, so the key phrase to use is "I'm there for you."

Well exactly, but the too clingy thing would be up there at a creepy level if it is a that level.

[Luca]

ast3r3x, I think you should follow Messiahtosh's expert opinion since he is a paragon of excellent relationship advice.

[Messiahtosh]

Originally Posted by Luca ast3r3x, I think you should follow Messiahtosh's expert opinion since he is a paragon of excellent relationship advice.

And the girls are all over you I suppose?

[Luca]

Originally Posted by Messiahtosh And the girls are all over you I suppose?

Never said they were. Didn't give out any advice either.

[johnq]

She's just going to say "Oh, you're the kid I used to hang out with in high-school but you were too much of a pussy to ever make a move and so I eventually started going out with somebody else, right?"

So many fish in the ocean, never go back.

[johnq]

Luca and M'tosh,

Might I point out that both of you are on a Mac forum, on a Saturday night, arguing your dating prowess?

I have an excuse - I have a fiancé, she's away and I'm bored and not interested in cheating.

[ast3r3x]

I can at least use the excuse of hw I'm working on!

[Luca]

Originally Posted by johnq Luca and M'tosh, Might I point out that both of you are on a Mac forum, on a Saturday night, arguing your dating prowess? I have an excuse - I have a fiancé, she's away and I'm bored and not interested in cheating.

Well, I'm just sitting here at work. There is nothing much else to do. Although I did bring my GameBoy... gotta work on dungeon #4 in Zelda! I just stopped for about two hours because the tiny screen was bugging my eyes.

[johnq]

ast3r3x, just do the opposite of M'tosh and you'll do ok.

1. Don't buy each iPod version that comes out, hoping to gain status with the ladies
2. Don't make frat videos
3. Never admit to liking "Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers". Ever.



ok, I'll stop before it gets mean...

[johnq]

Originally Posted by Luca Well, I'm just sitting here at work. There is nothing much else to do. Although I did bring my GameBoy... gotta work on dungeon #4 in Zelda! I just stopped for about two hours because the tiny screen was bugging my eyes.

Touché! LOL

[Brad]

Originally Posted by johnq I have an excuse - I have a fiancé

For the record so people don't picture you incorrectly...

fiancé - a man who is about to be married
fiancée - a woman who is about to be married

Note how the subtle mistake in lettering can make a vast difference of meaning.

[johnq]

Just be glad I used the acute accent.

Brad of course is right, however I blame my recent brainwashing from my bureaucratic nightmare of the U.S. so-called "Fiancé Visa"

http://www.immigration-bureau.org/fiance_visa.htm

Note: The above page initially makes it look like the U.S. Government has a visa for a man to have his male lover come to the U.S. to get married

"K1 Fiancé Visa: Strict qualifications apply to the K-1 Fiancé Visa. Both parties must be single, over the legal age, and have an intend to get married."

But.....I don't....want a fiancé...

They mean "fiancé(e)" and I, of course meant fiancée.

But Brad, get ready for "fiancé" to take over as the spelling for either gender. People are far too lazy to get that right.

For that matter, it'll be "fiance" with no accent mark, before you know it.

[Luca]

Woot, just beat dungeon 4, "Angler's Tunnel." That's the easiest boss there is, just slash at him a bunch and you win. Took me 15 seconds.

[staph]

To add a serious reply...

I'd say that if you actually valued and interacted with this person as a friend, there's nothing wrong with catching up, and seeing how things go. I'm not sure how you guys define "obsessive" but I don't think catching up with someone after a year and a half of not contacting her is exactly obsessive, stalking behaviour. I wouldn't be pressing flowers and chocolates on her, however... just have a coffee or something.

What's the worst that can happen? She can tell you to fuck off, in which case you're in exactly the same position as you were before. Alternatively, you may have grown into such different people over the couple of years that the issue becomes moot.

What do I know though — I'm still pining after a person I broke up with in July 1999. Then again, I never stopped talking to her.

As for dorkiness — we're talking about relationships on a computer forum. What more do you want?

-S

[EmC]

Originally Posted by johnq For that matter, it'll be "fiance" with no accent mark, before you know it.

I can hear the rednecks now.

I just got engaged, this is my FYE-ANSE.

Not to be confused with,

Hey, watch out for them FIER-ANTS, them sonsabitches sting like a muther...

[Random Hero]

If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't. But then again I'm an ugly kid, and a pussy.

Imagine some random girl you talked to 2 years ago called you up on your cell phone. Yeah, you'd be either annoyed, or suspicious. Yes there's the possibility that she may be like "OMG HOW HAVE U BEEN?! i Miss U!!1" But it's unlikely.

Your best bet (And this is what I would do, since I'm an ugly kid, and a pussy) is to convince a mutual friend to do some recon for you. First thing of course is to make sure there's no boyfriend cock-blocking your path. Then eventually you can "randomly" bump into her somewhere, or at a party. THEN you can work your charm.

Trust me. I am an expert lady killer.

[curiousuburb]

Originally Posted by ast3r3x So I was reminded of a girl I used to know and like in high school. We used to hang out but I was too much of a pussy to ever make a move and so she eventually started going out with somebody else. Well I hadn't seen or talked to her since then which was probably a year and a half...maybe 2 years. I was reminded of her today and so asked a mutual friend is she was still alive or whatever and got her cell number. So I want to call her now, but what do I say? Should I even call her? I think I will because I'd love to talk to her again, but I'm not sure if it falls into the creepy category or not. We never really ended talking, just slowly stopped, but it was always on good terms, so it's the only awkward thing is the long period of time. I'm thinking maybe try and text message first to initiate talking.

If you can make a smooth intro without sounding like some desperate stalker...

(Suggesting a reminder was provided by a film you both saw, or contact with a mutual friend)

I'd suggest you follow your impulses and go for it.

[drewprops]

I was tracked down by a girl to whom I'd written a love letter more than two years prior. She was mesmerizing and I was puppy dog for her, but she was too wrapped up in being popular. It turns out that she'd kept that letter close, when times were bad, and she finally called me.

I wish I could say it worked out, but we were only crossing paths again and I've since lost track of her.

Common sense says don't be an ass and look like a stalker, however Romance isn't based in a physics-driven world. You're young and it probably won't work out in the long run, but you never, ever know.

And I, for one, don't want to know what happens. Messageboards have become infamous for voyeurism. Go do what is best, and much good luck with it.

[alcimedes]

so if you used to IM her all the time, why not just drop her a line again?

that's easy enough. just say you were cleaning up your buddy list, came across her SN and was wondering how she's doing.

if she's at all interested, she'll take it from there.

the key is keep it short, simple and emotion free. don't give her anything to be creeped out by and she won't be. then just take it slowly from there.

[Mac+]

Originally Posted by ast3r3x Well exactly, but the too clingy thing would be up there at a creepy level if it is a that level.

ast3r3x - I was referring to a Seinfeld episode where Jerry and Elaine had been waiting out a relationship to collapse, so they could both pick up the single partners. They were also concerned with what to say at first without wanting to appear too desperate and the best "non-commital" line they could come up with was "I'm there for you" once the break up became common knowledge.

However, my advice is sure, get in touch - nonchalantly at first, and then take it slowly from there, as others have advised. If you're anything like myself, or perhaps, most folk, you usually end up regretting the things that you didn't do.

[ast3r3x]

Originally Posted by Mac+ ast3r3x - I was referring to a Seinfeld episode where Jerry and Elaine had been waiting out a relationship to collapse, so they could both pick up the single partners. They were also concerned with what to say at first without wanting to appear too desperate and the best "non-commital" line they could come up with was "I'm there for you" once the break up became common knowledge. However, my advice is sure, get in touch - nonchalantly at first, and then take it slowly from there, as others have advised. If you're anything like myself, or perhaps, most folk, you usually end up regretting the things that you didn't do.

Oh I know the episode dude I was going to say it's funny, but in all honesty, which episode isn't?

[SledgeHammer]

Originally Posted by Luca Woot, just beat dungeon 4, "Angler's Tunnel." That's the easiest boss there is, just slash at him a bunch and you win. Took me 15 seconds.

Zelda for old school GameBoy? I loved that game.

[Koodari]

To answer the original post: why the hell not. It's just a phone call. As long as you're not calling drunk or in a mood totally unlike when you last dealt with a person, there's absolutely nothing weird about calling in 1.5 years or five years or ten years. If a familiar name came up, I felt like it and we didn't have any bad blood when we parted, I'd have no problem calling, e-mailing or instant messaging and asking what's up. I've been contacted from six years in the past. I have contacted a person ten years in the past. And I'm just 22! My parents sometimes deal with people even farther back.

There's nothing to lose, is there?

[Majost]

Amen to that. Really... what's the worst that could happen? She says "no thanks" and never talks to you again. Is that any different than the current situation?

Give it a shot.

[bassplayinMacFiend]

Originally Posted by Brad For the record so people don't picture you incorrectly... fiancé - a man who is about to be married fiancée - a woman who is about to be married Note how the subtle mistake in lettering can make a vast difference of meaning.

Hmmm, my wife always called me her finance-me. I knew I should've taken more French in college.

[curiousuburb]

Originally Posted by bassplayinMacFiend Hmmm, my wife always called me her finance-me. I knew I should've taken more French in college.

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