[Bryson]

It's true.

Last Sunday, I was getting into bed, took off my shirt, and my girlfriend said: "What the hell is that on your back?"

On my back, I have 3 perfectly square red patches. About 3' across, in a perfect line. They have nice sharp corners and everything. They're still there today, 3 days later.

I have absolutely no idea where they came from or what they are. They don't hurt or itch - in fact I'd never know they were there if she hadn't pointed them out. They kind of look like burns or scalds - but there's no pain (or sensation of any kind.)

I've been looking around the house and work for suitably shaped square things that I may have sat against or leant on. But even if they were marks from that, I wouldn't expect them to last 3 days..would I?

So, it must be alien abduction.

Any theories?

[billybobsky]

Need more details...

How separated from each other are they?

[thegeriatric]

This thread is useless without pictures.

[pscates2.0]

A photo would help too.

Any sort of chair at work, or do you ride a bus or train that you might've sat on an unusual chair, or leaned against a weird wall or fence?

[Bryson]

Pics coming.... (my POS phone is misbehaving.)

They're about 3' apart as well. the middle one is perfectly centred on my spine. One of them (I forget which side, and I can't see them myself - they're in a spot where I can't see them, kind of just below my shoulderblades - difficult to see with a mirror, even) is less pronounced than the other two.


No weird chairs - nothing I may have leaned against recently has squares on. Unless they've been there for ages and didn't notice them until Sunday, which I guess is possible.

[BuonRotto]

...and somehow your girlfriend hasn't noticed them until now either.

[turtle]

Ever see the movie Species?

[pscates2.0]

Freaky. How cool would it be if you were abducted and experimented on? Awesome!

I mean that in purely a geeky/science/proof of life "out there" way, of course.

We'll start calling you Duane Barry.

[colivigan]

Bryson, I'm pretty sure you were just being "vetted".

Edit: Don't worry, it appears they have selected somebody else.

[pscates2.0]

Stop using that word!

[Chinney]

Originally Posted by BuonRotto ...and somehow your girlfriend hasn't noticed them until now either.

Um...maybe your girlfriend gave them to you. Is she the type to pull a prank?

[kieran]

I'll second the comment about this thread being worthless without pictures.

[Kickaha]

Originally Posted by Bryson On my back, I have 3 perfectly square red patches. About 3' across, in a perfect line.

Originally Posted by Bryson They're about 3' apart as well.

Three *FEET*?!? Jesus Christ dude, how wide *ARE* you?!?

[Brad]

Originally Posted by Kickaha Three *FEET*?!? Jesus Christ dude, how wide *ARE* you?!?

Fattie "fatster" McFatterson, the Fatth.

Also, TTIUWP!!!

[709]

Originally Posted by UncleJohn Bryson, I'm pretty sure you were just being "vetted".

[Bryson]

Originally Posted by Kickaha Three *FEET*?!? Jesus Christ dude, how wide *ARE* you?!?

Oops! 3", I mean. I'm fat, but not that fat!


My crappy cellphone has died entirely,* so you'll have to wait for the pics...




* = More proof! Electronics overload and break!

[Moogs]

Is there a radar dish that periodically expands out of your ass? If so, you have been abducted.

[murbot]

I was going to say maybe they're indents from turbulentfurball's cuff links... but 3" cuff links are tough to make work, even for a magnificent sonofabitch like him.

[artesc]

i don't mean to rain on your parade, but i had almost exactly the same experience. except mine were two circles. i just blew it off, they disappeared after about a week.

but now you're scaring me man.

[kieran]

Originally Posted by murbot I was going to say maybe they're indents from turbulentfurball's cuff links... but 3" cuff links are tough to make work, even for a magnificent sonofabitch like him.

hahahaha


I think Furby could pull them off though.

[709]

Wait, are these things 3" square a piece, or 3" wide between the lot?

[Moogs]

Do you have a worthless office chair with a hard plastic back that has square slots in it maybe (that you had to sit in all day)?

[Bryson]

Nope. No chair I use has any square slots of any kind. I've looked everywhere I've been in the last few days for any kind of slots, objects or wall-mounted stuff that's the right size. Nothing.



That's the full width of my back, basically. The left one has almost gone now.

[Swox]

Could be anything - some sun hitting just those places for some reason (i.e. coming through 3 squares), you leaned up against something either hot enough to cause a very minor burn, or that had something on it that irritated your skin (could have been a weird reaction to metal, or something like that)...

The way that it curves over your back makes me think it's the latter - something you leaned against. Besides, alien marks go straight across, not on a curve. I thought everyone knew that.

[Boomerangmacuser]

You leaned against a chair that had square holes in it. Enough to cut off the circulation there. You basically have three square hickies.

[Moogs]

I was more thinking the difference in surface pressure WRT to whatever fabric he was wearing might've caused some irritations but yah I didn't think I had much of a shot.

Pretty much this has to be an abduction. Send your picture to UFO hunters immediately please, Bryson. Don't tell your girlfriend. I'm pretty sure she IS one of the aliens at this point.... you won't mind if they cart her off for some experiments, right?

[Taskiss]

This is a personal question and I'd understand if you don't want to answer, Bryson...

How does your... er..ahem... bottom .. feel? Kinda tender, perhaps?

[Moogs]

I already asked him if there was a radar dish stuck up his bum. All indications are negatory on the alien anal probe.

[Taskiss]

Originally Posted by Moogs I already asked him if there was a radar dish stuck up his bum. All indications are negatory on the alien anal probe.

Well, he didn't answer, so I figured to ask nicely.

It's amazing how asking nicely can open doors, so ... ah, wait, no, I don't want to open THAT particular door. I'm still thinking aliens might have been there, and who knows WHAT they might carry.

Just nevermind.

[Bryson]

Feels...ok....

Maybe it was Furby's cufflinks!