[Fooboy]

The following EXACT conversation took place between me (Will) and two sony support "agents" (Analyst Hammond_ and Analyst Bradley_) via a Java based "Live Chat Support" offered by Sony in regards to my Sony CPD-E540 21 inch monitor.

I just found this chat again - thought you guys would enjoy it. It's not too long, don't skip around or you miss some of the subtle humor. It get's funnier as it goes on too.

***

Chat Subject Problem: Ripples In Monitor

user Will has entered room
analyst Hammond_ has entered room

Hammond_> Welcome to Sony Online Support. I will be glad to assist you.
Will> Hey
Hammond_> Are you using a Sony computer?
Will> No
Will> It gets faint horizontal ripples that travel up or down
Hammond_> What is the Operating System on your computer?
Will> XP SP2
Will> Fully Updated. I tried using a different power souce in a different building,and a different computer entirely
Hammond_> When was the last time the Display worked normally?
Will> it has always been like this pretty much. I got it in August 03 ... its still under 3 year warranty
Will> I am thinking about selling my computer ... so Id like to take care of it before I sell it
Will> You know - these things weigh like 70 lbs ... more of a pain to move it than fix it
Will> hah
Hammond_> I understand your concerns.
Will> man they make you guys be REALLY formal huh.
Will> I dont need a psychologist, just my monitor to work!
Will> haha
Hammond_> Please give me a moment while I get this information.
Hammond_> I will forward a link where you can get the required information.
Hammond_> http://iq.sony.com/srvs/autoresponse.asp?id=268346
Hammond_> Please click on the link.
Hammond_> Are you able to view the page?
Will> hold on ... im using Mozilla Firefox
Will> I have to manually enter it in
Hammond_> I am online with you.
Will> where are you - USA, Europe, Asia
Hammond_> We are located in USA.
Will> I feel like im talking to a robot
Will> do they let you guys talk for real
Will> im reading that webpage btw
Will> by the way
Hammond_> Will, I am a live Technical Support Agent.
Hammond_> Please perform all the steps mentioned on the page and check if the issue is resolved.
Will> im doing the steps Mr. Robot
Hammond_> Will, I am live person.
Will> tell me a joke then.
Will> using poor punctuation
Hammond_> Do you want me to stay online while performing the steps mentioned on the page?
Will> sure a day is a 1000 years to a robot
Will> didnt fix it
Will> deguassing it made it go away but when it was done it game bacm
Will> back
Will> I did the other stuff as well
Hammond_> Since you have performed all the troubleshooting steps, the unit needs to be physically evaluated by our technician.
Hammond_> I suggest that you contact a Sony Authorized Service Center near you to get the unit evaluated.
Hammond_> I will forward a link where you can locate the nearest Sony Service Center in your area.
Will> how can I see where one is near me
Hammond_> http://www.sel.sony.com/service/plsql/rma/inquiry
Hammond_> Please click the link.
Will> Thank you Mr. Robot.
Hammond_> Will, I am a live Agent.
Will> a real peron wouldnt say that
Will> they'd say "hey man im real!"
Hammond_> Are you able to locate the Service Center?
Will> "Will, I am a live Agent." ... even that sounds so robotic and cold. You should talk to your manager and tell them yall need to losen up.
Will> I know its not you
Will> you're just folling policy
Will> its just ... hilarous
Will> HAMMOND!!! I found on.
Hammond_> I am glad that I could assist you.
Hammond_> We wish you a Happy Holiday Season!
Will> are you charging your batteries or something?
Hammond_> Thank you for contacting Sony Online Support today.
Hammond_> Analyst has closed chat and left the room.

***

So I tried to connect again to further investigate if these guys were really robots.

***

Chat Subject Problem: Monitor Smells Like Burning

user Will has entered room
analyst Bradley_ has entered room

Bradley_> Welcome to Sony online support. I will be glad to assist you.
Bradley_> Hello Will.
Will> Hey Brad
Will> First things first, do you know a guy named Hammond_ who works there
Bradley_> Yes, I know him.
Will> Is he a robot, I was just talking to him - the guy needs to losen up
Bradley_> Could you please explain the question on display in more detail, please?
Will> Oh no - are you a robot too!
Bradley_> I am a live person chatting with you.
Will> I'll leave in a second. I just think you guys are robots.
Will> type a sentance without a period or something
Will> mis spell a word
Bradley_> Does your monitor heat up?
Will> Look, will you just type a sentance with improper grammer, spelling, or capitalization.
Will> then I will be satisfied and leave
Bradley_> I assure you that I am a live person chatting with you. I will be able to assist you.
Will> Well if you are, how come you aren't listening to me? I will ask you a question that only a human would know. Describe what its like to eat a hotdog.
Will> taste... texture... smell
Bradley_> We are VAIO Technical Support Team and we will be able to assist you if you get back to the issue.
Will> come on If you're an american human you should be able to spit that out in 2 seconds ... either you cannot compute, or you are thumbing through your english dictionary trying to translate my question.
Will> Hammond_ told me you guys were in the USA
Will> was he lying!?
Will> Look Bradley, all I want is the TRUTH. Come clean and be honest. Either you are a computer, or you're in India.
Bradley_> We are located at Fort Myers, Florida. We are not authorized to discuss issues other than technical or product related issues.
Will> well ... if that is true, that rules out India. You must be a robot, that explains why you have never had a hotdog. You're missing out man.
Will> well I guess im done.
Will> case closed.
Will> Sony Support Techs: Robots
Bradley_> Will, since this caht is not making any headway, I will be forced to terminate the session.
Will> You MIS-TYPED!
Will> caht
Will> you meant "chat"
Will> haha you sneaky fox.
Bradley_> I am sorry for the typo.
Will> I love you brad. Thanks

***

Case Closed.

[curiousuburb]

Sounds like http://www.alicebot.org in action.

[Fooboy]

No it wasn't a robot. Thats the FINDING of my investigation! I bet they just have intense supervision... and he was trying to communicate to me through his typo ... ha.

Robots don't have typos.

[johnq]

Sure they do. If the typo was entered into their programming. Bradley never said "chat", only "chatting". Maybe he says "caht" everytime? Hammond is a different app.

[torifile]

Originally Posted by Fooboy No it wasn't a robot. Thats the FINDING of my investigation! I bet they just have intense supervision... and he was trying to communicate to me through his typo ... ha. Robots don't have typos.

If you have gotten him to say "chat" correctly, I'd buy your argument. As johnq said, he may type "caht" everytime.

[groverat]

You were a prick to that guy. Good work.

I would like to punch you really really hard.

[Fooboy]

what are you talking about - I wasn't mean ... just making his day a little interesting.

[groverat]

He was trying to do his job and you were mocking him. The fact that you don't recognize that makes me want to punch you even harder than I wanted to before.

Only assholes say things like, "Oh whatever, I was just making that person's day more interesting."

[Fooboy]

This is all assuming that he's not a robot ... which hasn't been disproved yet.

I see your cause for concern rat, but ... It was still funny and Im sure he didn't shed a tear nor feel insulted.

I was only joking with him. It's not like I ever said Id punch him, really hard ... or something stupid like that.

[omem]

well it was a bit childish but it made me laugh, so...

radley_> Welcome to Sony online support. I will be glad to assist you. Bradley_> Hello Will. Will> Hey Brad Will> First things first, do you know a guy named Hammond_ who works there

that was the funny part

[Mac+]

Hey Fooboy - I enjoyed reading it.

"you sneaky fox"

I liked the way Robots can apologise for their spelling mistakes too.

[Fooboy]

Liiiiiiiiiiiiivvvvvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeee!!!

[macleod]

You just made my day! :LOL: I literally was laughing out loud reading that because I went through a hellish experience with their live support. I probably spent a good 2 to 3 hrs online with them and another hour on the phone with a "robot" like guy. He told me he couldn't tell me where the hidden screw was on my laptop to get the case open and he said hard drive upgrades were impossible with sony laptops because they do "something special" in their manufacturing where it only works with the one laptop hard drive originally installed. It was the most frustrating thing! Once again, thanks for that chat. I feel like going there and trying to get them to type chat correctly!

[chucker]

What groverat said.

[eventhorizon]

You're a giant douche nozzle, Fooboy.

[spikeh]

Originally Posted by omem that was the funny part

That part made me laugh too

[murbot]

So.... we're sure this isn't automated?

[FFL]

Originally Posted by murbot So.... we're sure this isn't automated?

Yes - several answers are too direct to be fully automated (although I could see them using macros to paste in many standard "answers").

Will> where are you - USA, Europe, Asia Hammond_> We are located in USA. Will> First things first, do you know a guy named Hammond_ who works there Bradley_> Yes, I know him. Will> Look Bradley, all I want is the TRUTH. Come clean and be honest. Either you are a computer, or you're in India. Bradley_> We are located at Fort Myers, Florida. We are not authorized to discuss issues other than technical or product related issues.

Furthermore, I know the Sony center is in Ft. Myers, and I used to know a couple people that worked there (not Hammond or Bradley). Yes, it's very "formal" and by-the-book, so the conversation doesn't surprise me.

But it doesn't justify being a prick to guys just trying to do their job.

[spikeh]

Originally Posted by FFL Yes, it's very "formal" and by-the-book, so the conversation doesn't surprise me.

It's that way for a reason, too. The amount of idiots you get in tech support is honestly astounding - nerds like us take it for granted a lot of the time: most people don't understand even the simplest advice.

[Eugene]

"Describe what its like to eat a hotdog" had to be the highlight of the discourse for me. Good game.

[Schnauzer]

OMG that rocks, very funny

[Fahrenheit]

Firstly, saying "very funny" about your own "joke" is pretty big headed, specially considering it wasn't.

This kind of "lets take the piss out of live chat" thing is really old. Sony is offering this service as a gratuity, and they don't have to provide it.

Your own joke is the whole point- one of the reasons why we have to wait longer and why companies have to implement robotic systems is because they can't handle the sheer amount of inquiries -you are adding to the problem.

And before you have a laugh at them, they probably get loads of these kind of jokey pre-pubescant boys going "lol! You are on a computer!"

Its really not that funny, and, assuming you are over 12, quite immature.

And by the way, you contradicted yourself above:

Originally Posted by Fooboy No it wasn't a robot. Thats the FINDING of my investigation!

and then:

Originally Posted by Fooboy This is all assuming that he's not a robot ... which hasn't been disproved yet.

[World Leader Pretend]

I had a very annoying experience with a human-bot from Cox trying to get my email account to be reactivated (because for some reason I'll never understand they deactivated the account when I moved my physical location across town. I mean, why should my email address change?) Anyway, every-time I tried to get to the problem (the email account) the voice would stop the process and tried to get me to fix my router because I wasn't showing up on Cox's grid. I tried twice but kept getting sidetracked into fixing my internet connection, which was fine, instead of being able to talk to a real person.

The third time I called I told the voice "other" "other" "other problem" until it was forced to transfer me to a real person. Then I could at least make some headway on the problem. Stuff like that can be sooo annoying.

[Bryson]

Originally Posted by Farenheit Firstly, saying "very funny" about your own "joke" is pretty big headed, specially considering it wasn't.

For the sake of accuracy, Fooboy started the thread, and Schnauzer said it was "very funny" - not the same person.

[Fahrenheit]

Originally Posted by Bryson For the sake of accuracy, Fooboy started the thread, and Schnauzer said it was "very funny" - not the same person.

Sorry, I was referring to the title of the thread, which, in reflection, avoids the word "very".

[Fooboy]

Come on guys, I didn't start the initial conversation with Hammond_ with the intent of attacking or insulting him, nor did I. I know the guy was just doing his job. It was more like, they were so rediculously formal and proved so "stiff" at all my attempts to break the mood, it became more and more funny to me. Like a game of chicken.

"Beep beep boop ... [QUERY]: I - AM - NOT - A - ROBOT. I - AM - A - LIVE - PERSON." ... haha

This was more like trying to get one of those british royal gaurds who stand at attention to laugh or smile - not an attack on those guys.

Sorry my sense of humor is so cruel.


EDIT: I got a Negative Rep Point.....

[rep comment deleted]

WHHHHAT in the world. I was looking for an old post and saw this post from like a year ago and it made me laugh so I bumped it. It is innocently funny, I was not being a prick. I was not insulting them or berating them as some disgruntled people do. They were just so stinkin' formal it was begging the question - "are these guys robots?" The more I pressed the more I was beginning to wonder. It was harmless and good natured. I even told Bradley I loved him, sheesh. I did networking support at a university of 40,000+ students and I got hateful calls for no reason, people cussing and yelling when their internet didnt work, or worse, angry parents calling for their kids. I can garuantee that Hammond_ and Bradley_ if anything, had a laugh over the water cooler - and didn't go home feeling insulted.

Anyways, it was funny. I wonder where Hammond_ and Bradley_ are now ...

[World Leader Pretend]

I agree that people are taking this too seriously. Lay off the guy, he was just bringing humor to my world when people got all upset.

Hopefully this thread will slip back into the mists of AN......

[Robo]

It made me laugh.

And, if I was one of the "robots," it would brighten my day, too.

Honestly, do you guys think that the "live Agents" would honestly rather help another guy turn on his monitor without plugging it in first?

[Eugene]

Originally Posted by Roboman Honestly, do you guys think that the "live Agents" would honestly rather help another guy turn on his monitor without plugging it in first?

Exactly right.