[pscates2.0]

Let that sink in, won't you?

http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/TV/0....ap/index.html



This is much too easy, and I must resist going for the easy kill. I'm better than that...



I know it seems, to some, that I may pick on this dimwit...but damn, come on. She just floats those low hanging ones right over the plate, on a weekly (if not daily) basis.





WTF IS SHE RETIRING FROM?!?!?!?!.



Going out every single night, sucking dick on nightvision, partying without worrying about the next day, dancing badly, giving the paparazzi upskirt cooter pics, acting like a general bubblehead, etc. is something most of us don't "retire" from. We "grow up" or grow tired of it, pull back just for healthy/safety reasons.

She treats it like a monumental corporate shift in policy, and feels compelled to give it the "press release" treatment.



In any case, read the linked story above...if you don't cackle out loud in 5-8 places, you don't have a heart or sense of humor.





Damn...if LoCash were still around, he'd label me "old man" for all the above...

[Bryson]

Yep, everything that you said, plus this:

Her Fiance is called: Paris Latsis. *pause*


WTFOMGBBQ!!!111ONE111!!!LOLLERSKATES111!!!

As I believe a wise man once said.


I would have thought a great rule to stick to is to never sleep with anyone with the same first name as you... When they marry, they'll be the same person.

[alcimedes]

Kathy Hilton's new NBC reality series, "I Want to Be a Hilton," in which she coaches 14 contestants in taste and etiquette, premieres June 21.

Wow. Just, wow. There's nothing more I can say.

[staph]

Originally Posted by alcimedes Wow. Just, wow. There's nothing more I can say.

Hey, everything's relative. I just hope they left their clubs outside.

[curiousuburb]

Right on, pscates, you old man!

Technically, I don't think heiresses 'retire' as much as 'stop pretending to slum with the peons'.

If it means less media coverage of her, I'm all for it.

[pscates2.0]

Kathy Hilton's new NBC reality series, "I Want to Be a Hilton," in which she coaches 14 contestants in taste and etiquette, premieres June 21.

I don't know what chance these 14 numbnuts have...seems like Kathy's "coaching" didn't even take with her own kid!



Want to be a Hilton? Screw your boyfriend on video (and manage to have it go public), become really unattractive with an unholy orange tan/white hair combo and say something eye-pokingly stupid in public on a daily basis.

Not quite sure how the whole "taste and etiquette" and "being a Hilton" things are syncing up, you know?

[Messiahtosh]

Originally Posted by pscates2.0 Let that sink in, won't you? http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/TV/0....ap/index.html Going out every single night, sucking dick on nightvision, partying without worrying about the next day, dancing badly, giving the paparazzi upskirt cooter pics, acting like a general bubblehead, etc. is something most of us don't "retire" from. We "grow up" or grow tired of it, pull back just for healthy/safety reasons.

LMFAO!!!

[ghoti]

Originally Posted by Bryson Her Fiance is called: Paris Latsis.

I read an interview where she said that they want to name their first kid Paris, too. I'm not making this up.

Plus, she's laughing all the way to the bank, as they say. Not only will she inherit a shitload of money, being dumb also pays pretty well. She's reported to make $2 million per year. That's not bad for a 22-year-old ...

[Bryson]

Originally Posted by ghoti I read an interview where she said that they want to name their first kid Paris, too. I'm not making this up.

Fuck off.

[Amadeus]

I wish her well in retirement. Just hope that she won't be like Cher and Barbara Striesand, that just keep coming back when they miss the accolades.

[pscates2.0]

I give her "retirement" about 17 hours.

Something tells me a few days out of the spotlight, party circuit, tabloids and paparazzi's lenses, etc. is going to get old for someone like her REALLY quick.

I don't care what she does, she's allowed to. Fine. But when she makes these idiotic statements (the stuff she said about her "princess" book, this "retirement" thing, generally coming off like a spoiled, graceless ass, etc.) she opens herself up for commentary and mockery.

If she just kinda shut up and did her thing (or, better yet, went away), I'd have nothing to say about her (and neither would anyone else...which, I guess, is the whole point; and why she'll never truly "retire", IMO).

I just dread the day she gets married (either to this Paris guy or the latest peni...I mean, man, in her life). The tabloids, People and US and E! are going to go into a month-long "Paris wedding!" orgy of hysterical idiocy the likes of which we've probably never seen.



Would be a lot cooler if she just joined some freaky cult and disappeared into the jungle somewhere for 20 years or so...



A true useless individual, IMO. Unattractive, no grace, no shame, deep as a mud puddle, doesn't work, doesn't contribute anything, etc. Just strictly a case of someone being famous for..."being famous".

You used to have to be able to do something to acquire that. Not anymore, huh?

[Banana]

Can someone please enlighten this woefully outdated, out of touch, antiquated, primitive, backward, obsolete relic of living matter that is me,

Who is Paris Hilton anyway?

[alcimedes]

South Park had the best spoof (if you could call it that, it wasn't much of a stretch) on Paris Hilton evar.

[Banana]

Ahh. A hotel heiress caught on tape in her spree...

I bet she's prez of SWOP. No, not the SWOP certifying Apples monitor: the *other* SWOP.

[Brad]

Originally Posted by Banana Who is Paris Hilton anyway?

She's the great-granddaughter of Conrad Hilton, the guy that started the "Hilton" line of hotels (among others). She's set to inherit lots of money. That's what makes her famous. Pretty sad, huh?

Her list of accomplishment's include:

• Looking like a sick, gaunt Central Casting-reject from hell, but trying to act aloof and chic like a supermodel. Wait, today's supermodels are also gaunt and sickly-looking? Well, I guess Paris succeeded there, then.
• Campaigning "Vote or Die" with MTV and then not voting because she never registered.
• Failing to hold up the other end of the bargain in the aforementioned "Vote or Die" campaign. Someone should've gotten that in writing.
• Making a porn video with some guy.
• Getting caught stealing many copies of said porn video from a public place where it was being sold.
• Saying "That's hot" way too much.
• Successfully getting the phrase "That's hot" trademarked.
• Having her Sidekick II hacked likely because she used a stupidly-simple password and spilling its messages, celebrity phone numbers, and nude camera-phone pictures all over the Internet.

Yeah, she's been quite the humanitarian.

A Google image search for "hobag" is revealing enough:

[ohara]

y'all lay off paris... her carl's jr. commercial in which she wears the leather thong or whatever was !really! entertaining if you know what i mean !!!(especially if you're naked, lack the desire to masturbate most of the time, etc.)...

sorry, not trying to provoke a reaction, but, paris is really entertaining if you criticize her properly... you all don't seem so well-versed in Paris Theory.

[nassau]

Originally Posted by pscates2.0 WTF IS SHE RETIRING FROM?!?!?!?!.

well, if i'm not wrong (might very well be), those were the words of the reporter, right? she never said "i'm retiring". she just said she wants to be a mother, stop clubbing, do business etc. did she summon a press conference or did she say it to one of the dozens of reporters following her wherever she goes? have you ever heard of a celebrity reporter making things "juicy" for the headlines, misquoting, taking things out of context?

seriously, i don't understand the hate people have for paris hilton. it used to be britney, now it's paris. so what, she does what she does - let her!

i call envy - envy from deep deep within peoples minds, wishing they had her money and thus her freedom.



send in the flames and the sheep. :smokey:

[Grip]

Just something I read.

[SledgeHammer]

Thanks for the link, Grip.

[Mac+]

Good read. Cheers.

[ezkcdude]

Hmmm...I thought "retirement" implied a history of working. Well, if b.j.'s are work...

[rasmits]

Omgaah she's retiring from her stupid, spoiled whore duties? I'm sure her high profile 'clients' will miss her... On the day of her retirement, the entire brothel industry will loose at least 15% of their annual earnings, and could quite possilby trigger an international sex-trade recession. This is an outrage!

[windowsblowsass]

tinkerbell the chihuahuah easily the ugliest dog in the history of western civilization

classic

[pscates2.0]

Originally Posted by nassau i call envy - envy from deep deep within peoples minds, wishing they had her money and thus her freedom.

You got us all pegged, professor.

I DO envy Paris.

[Powerdoc]

Kathy Hilton's new NBC reality series, "I Want to Be a Hilton," in which she coaches 14 contestants in taste and etiquette, premieres June 21.

LESSON ONE :
The first thing you have to do is a good brainwashing.

[Amadeus]

I've never understood announce a retirement ahead of time. Why not just retire now?

[Torrent]

"I thought it was cute to play a dumb blonde. On TV, I do it because it's funny. I consider myself a businesswoman and a brand"
thats just tells everything about her
Paris Hilton Videos Here

[LudwigVan]

Originally Posted by Torrent "I thought it was cute to play a dumb blonde. On TV, I do it because it's funny...."

*Ahem*

Source:

Pamela Anderson has revealed that Paris Hilton refuses to read restaurant menus for herself. The stars were out dining together when Paris wanted a waiter to read out the menu contents to her. According to The Sun online Pamela told GQ magazine: "She's funny. "Last time I met her we were in a restaurant together - she slammed the menu down and screamed: 'I hate reading! Someone tell me what's on the menu!' "I mean, I'm blonde but c'mon," [Anderson added].

* * *

Originally Posted by ohara y'all lay off paris... her carl's jr. commercial in which she wears the leather thong or whatever was !really! entertaining if you know what i mean !!!