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View Full Version : MWSF Keynote in 5 Easy Steps


Gizzer
2005-01-07, 06:57
I don't know about the rest of you (although I suspect I'm not the only one ;) ), but MWSF (and all the other keynotes for that matter) becomes just as much of a ritual as a non-atendee as it does for people that get to see it live. My tried and tested routine as follows:


STAGE 1 (Blistered Refresh Button Phase)
As I'm in the UK, MWSF kicks off around 5pm (or 2pm if it's WWDC). As I'm at work I surreptitiously fire up several browser windows all pointing at various text alerts (Think secret etc etc). I then spend the next hour or so trying to do my day job (PC programmer) and at the same time flick from window to window frantically trying to see who's posted an update :) . When an update has been posted, you then flick to another alert site to see if their description is better/worse/drool-worthy than the previous site. Continue this for 30-60 mins....

STAGE 2 (Knowledge Attainment Phase)
Whilst checking the various text updates (and working obviously ;) ) Notice the Apple Store is down: Quick flick to AppleNova forum to see who posted the "OMG - Store is Down" thread.
Apple store comes back up: Marvel at all the new products then spend 30-40 mins reading every technical spec and nuance to the new product. No hyperlink is to be left un-clicked!

STAGE 3 (Bitching and Moaning Phase)
Dash home, get the kids to bed as soon as possible. Fire up Think Secret/AppleNova to start bitching about how I hate the design of the new Apple *** (insert name here)!! Comment about how wrong Johnathan Ives was to make it too lime green/too smooth/too angular/too much anodised wood-grain.

STAGE 4 (Showtime!)
Wait for Apple to post the looping webcast, crack a few tinnies sit down in front of the Mac (and realise that as per 6 months before, your computer chair is not meant for kicking back and relaxing). Fidget for 90 minutes whilst at the same time sitting in awe of all the new software demos.
Next: Curse the looping stream for freezing. Try to remember where playhead was in Quicktime before quitting and starting the loop from approximately the same point. Watch the introduction you already saw because your playhead placement was wrong!
Finally: Bathe in the glory of the "Just one more thing" object that you were bitching about only hours before.

STAGE 5 (The Next Stage)
Ponder the "one more thing" object and realise its not so bad when you see it demo'd in the keynote after all.
Go on AppleNova and express your changed view on the object of desire.
24-36 hours later do a complete about-turn and log on to Apple Store and order the goods (whilst simultaneously building a credit card balance the size of a small nations national debt) :D :D :D


.....That's my Tuesday sorted anyway :smokey: . Have I left anything out??!!

johnq
2005-01-07, 07:06
I do fullscreen with my ibook video out going to my TV and audio going to my stereo. Looks like ass but it helps magnify the RDF.

Gizzer
2005-01-07, 07:13
I do fullscreen with my ibook video out going to my TV and audio going to my stereo. Looks like ass but it helps magnify the RDF.

:lol: :lol: "FEEEEL the POWER of my awesome RDF!! Does it not make you quiver with desire?! Now GO small and puny human and buy my products NOW!"

johnq
2005-01-07, 07:19
Then I go out and mug old ladies on SSI check day so I can get enough money for Apple's new iCrack.

I love the Stevenotes. I always watch them alone because I can't stand it when someone speaks over it or says something at all contrary to the RDF vibe. :D

I'm not kidding, except for the mugging. :D

InactionMan
2005-01-07, 07:27
To get into the mood for this one I'm watching old Stevenotes. I watched MWSF 2000 yesterday-the one with the first look at Aqua. It was bad-ass. Though Schiller played the schmuck when he couldn't get Quake III to launch under OS X. He stared at the screen for a while then sheepishly said, "uh Steve, we're going to have to do this later."

Poor Phil.

morningstarrising
2005-01-07, 07:38
This is going to be my first show. I'm actually going to wake up at 8am ET to hit refresh on Apple.com till it crashes or they put up the ad with the cool words...

johnq
2005-01-07, 07:44
Just make a frameset with a meta refresh. :D

Text update site in one, Apple homepage on another, movie page in a 3rd etc.

thequicksilver
2005-01-07, 08:17
To get into the mood for this one I'm watching old Stevenotes. I watched MWSF 2000 yesterday-the one with the first look at Aqua. It was bad-ass. Though Schiller played the schmuck when he couldn't get Quake III to launch under OS X. He stared at the screen for a while then sheepishly said, "uh Steve, we're going to have to do this later."

Poor Phil.

I watched that last night too, it was painful just seeing him sit there vainly hoping for it to work. Even cmd-alt-esc seemed to fail them… they crashed the uncrashable OS. :D

johnq
2005-01-07, 08:21
That's what you get (and deserve) when you are running overclocked prototypes made just to demo things as fast as possible :D

Gizzer
2005-01-07, 09:40
Then I go out and mug old ladies on SSI check day so I can get enough money for Apple's new iCrack.

I love the Stevenotes. I always watch them alone because I can't stand it when someone speaks over it or says something at all contrary to the RDF vibe. :D

I'm not kidding, except for the mugging. :D

I need to do a bit more research but I think you are right: The Microphone hole on all new macs for the last few years are in fact mini cameras. When they sense you are on your own, the white pulsing LED on your mac fires up in a particular rythmn that stimulates your optic nerve in such a way as to actually add a genuine halo effect to your Mac thus amplifying the RDF.... If it were somehow possible for someone to actually enter your room at this point (they can't because the RDF keeps them out), they would see you sat in front of the screen, eyes wide open but motionless. The only sign of life would be the small puddle of drool dripping from your open mouth... :lol:

adammull
2005-01-07, 10:08
You forgot the obligatory IChat conversations to your friends who are doing the same thing, so you end up with a long chat consisting of: the Apple store is down!!! user 2: the Apple store is down!!! user 3: the Apple store is down man!!! And so on and so on. One friend will claim that Think Secret is typing the live updates faster while another friend will claim allegiance to Macintouch. I usually spend my time watching the clock knowing that Steve will only take two hours and it's been awhile since anything big has hit at the 1:40 mark. I'm still chapped about the one hour Garageband demo with John Mayer. But yes, I agree with everything above except you left out watching the clock like a madman, screaming at Steve to announce something else and hoping for some reason that this keynote will be 3 hours!!!

SonOfSylvanus
2005-01-07, 10:18
My tried and tested routine as follows...

Dude. That's like exactly what I do. Minus the job and the kids :p

Messiahtosh
2005-01-07, 10:30
Sometimes I watch it at Penn State with a bunch of people that are "in the know" that Apple actually holds a Keynote-watching event. There's food and drink, and....Steve. It's usually pretty cool because the sattelite downlink is high quality. Then I always rewatch the keynote about 3 more times from my PowerBook. And in about 5-6 months I save the $ to buy whatever it was that I loved, or if it's software I order it immediately.

BlueRabbit
2005-01-07, 18:59
To get into the mood for this one I'm watching old Stevenotes. I watched MWSF 2000 yesterday-the one with the first look at Aqua. It was bad-ass. Though Schiller played the schmuck when he couldn't get Quake III to launch under OS X. He stared at the screen for a while then sheepishly said, "uh Steve, we're going to have to do this later."

Poor Phil.

I was just watching MWNY 1999...the one where they said that Halo would come out in a year. :mad:

It was worse for Phil there - he got to jump 20 feet holding an iBook. I just guess he'll do anything for the company. :p

morningstarrising
2005-01-07, 19:21
Why he jump?

iBeard
2005-01-07, 19:31
Where can I get these old MW videos? thanks. :)

HOM
2005-01-07, 19:32
Why he jump?

To show off AirPort. Remember back in 1999 WiFi didn't even have a name yet except AirPort.

Also, from HOM's Vault of Useless Mac Trivia™, MOSR back then had been talking about Apple working with Lucent to develop a wireless technology. Everyone dismissed it or claimed it was FireWireless, but they did talk about it and it did come to fruition. Might have been the last time they were right about anything.

Now, my obligatory MWNY 1999 memory. I was way to cheap to pay the amount that IDG wanted for admittance to the Stevenote. This was also when there was no Exhibit+Stevenote plan and the only option to get in was to pay for a conference ticket. Well, not being satisfied with that my buddy and I went peaking around the Javitz center. There is a mezzanine level between the show floor and the keynote room. We walked into the area where companies rent private rooms for press showings ect and started opening doors. Lo and behold the last door not only opened, but opened into the balcony of the Holy Stevenote Room. We quickly sat down to not draw attention from security right next to Don Crabb (RIP). Then Phil came out with an iBook. Talked to some guys and then on cue he jumped. It was by far the coolest MacWorld moment I ever had.

So ends this post.

Or so I thought...

I've got Seybold, MacWorld NY, and the Special Apple Event from 1999. I'd be more than happy to bit torrent them (about 200 MB), but BT keeps throwing errors at me. I think it's because I don't have a tracker address.

Anyone care to help me out?

oldmacfan
2005-01-07, 19:58
I miss the Crabb man. The new guy just isn't the same.

BlueRabbit
2005-01-07, 21:23
Where can I get these old MW videos? thanks. :)
I got MWNY 1999 from the second page of the MacNN link earlier in the thread. Here it is again (http://forums.macnn.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=201753&highlight=keynote+download), just for fun. :)

nomorewindows
2005-01-07, 22:16
Then I go out and mug old ladies on SSI check day so I can get enough money for Apple's new iCrack.

I love the Stevenotes. I always watch them alone because I can't stand it when someone speaks over it or says something at all contrary to the RDF vibe. :D

I'm not kidding, except for the mugging. :D

iCrack--oh yeah! A month ago I would not have known what this meant. Now...I go to the Apple store and stand by the PowerBooks, with a shit-eating grin on my face. Sad. I have to figure out how to get my spouse out of the house on Tuesday so I won't be interrupted. I want more. I NEED MORE!

bwhaler
2005-01-08, 06:46
My MWSF experience goes like this:

1. Get up at 5:15am. Wonder out-loud to myself how I can be passionate about a company which costs me so much money for stuff I don't really need.

2. Go to the Moscone Center with my buddy. Listen to him say he will beat me down if the Keynote sucks and I got him out of bed for it.

3. Stand in the freezing cold until the sun comes up.

4. Move inside around 7:30am. Stand there shocked that somehow there are a couple of thousand people in front of me even though I got there 3+ hours early.

5. Talk to Mac Folks. #1 Question: What will Steve release? Discuss. #2 Question: What do you use your Mac for?

6. The herd moves. Cheer with the crowd.

7. Enter the room. Somehow, another thousand more people appeared before you.

8. Listen to great pre-keynote tunes.

9. The Master arrives. The place goes crazy

10. Critique every product as Steve speaks. Cheer a lot. Say, "too expensive. It'll sell like the cube" at least 3 times.

11. Complain that last year they gave away something cooler to the audience. Everyone will agree. (Although, maybe not this year since last year we got stiffed with a stupid poster.)

12. Walk around the conference center. Play with all of the new products. Ignore the Microsoft booth.

14. And of course, go online and discuss how everything is cooler when you see it in person. Flaunt your knowledge and status as an attendee. And of course, agree that everything is overpriced and will take months to ship.

15. And finally, a month later buy all the stuff you said was too expensive and that you don't really need.

usurp
2005-01-08, 08:03
i am gonna wait a bit longer and then watch the extended version of the keynote

Paul
2005-01-08, 09:51
I was so close to biting the bullet and getting Mac IT tickets this year... :mad:
oh well... I'll use the $G saved to get the 17" widescreen display for the mini-mac... :D

so any official word on the status of apple stores? I remember there was no live stream last year either and I had to hike into soho...