View Full Version : Lets Violate Causality!
If you could send an email to your past self, to what time would you send it and what would you say?
That is all.
I'd send two emails to my former self. One to the last summer version and it'd say "don't jump off the cliff." The other would be to me as a early teenager and it'd say "Not using sunscreen may seem cool, but having things cut out of your body years later isn't. Wear it chump."
Other than that, I live without regrets.
Oh god I have so many things I'd say. I guess the biggest would be to my middle school self saying "it doesn't matter what THEY think about you right now, you are going to wind up somewhere better where you don't have to worry about them anymore". Another would be to the same me and be like "there is absolutely nothing wrong with liking women, and you will come to embrace it someday".
Age 2: Cherish that blue Nerf ball. You'll remember it forever.
Age 3: Yes, she just left you next to a burning house. This won't be the last time something like this happens.
Age 8: You won't grow here. Take the hard road out, it *will* pay off in the end.
Age 11: You're not the freak you think you are. You're an outlier. There's a difference, and you'll find out one day that it can actually be a benefit.
Age 13: Wouldn't you rather like to know what it's like to *live*?
Age 15: She won't ever come to love you the way you hope, and no, the people around you won't ever understand you. Don't try and get them to do so, it will only end in heartbreak. Find your sense of self, find your passion, and make the most of your talent. No one else will do it for you, sadly, and no one is going to swoop in to save you. But once you embrace your abilities to their utmost... you're going to be more than fine.
Age 17: You may not come to forgive him completely, but there's more humanity in him than you know. Take the time to get to know him. It will pay off later.
Age 19: Do *not* propose to the first real girlfriend you ever have. She's not the only one that will ever love you. I swear.
Age 22: Do not meet her in Paris. Better yet... *RUN*.
Age 26: Tell her you can't do that. Be honest with yourself. Your relationship will be much better if you are.
If you could send an email to your past self, to what time would you send it and what would you say?
That is all.
Incidentally, it has been suggested that the large hadron collider is sabotaging itself backwards in time (http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/13/science/space/13lhc.html?_r=2&scp=1&sq=bech%20nielsen&st=cse) when it creates Higgs bosons. Something about them being so unnaturral that they send ripples back in time.
:err:
Age 13: Get out of there.
Age 15: Get out of there.
Age 17: Get the HELL out of there.
Age 19: Get out of there.
Age 21: Get out of here.
Heh. From an IM conversation from yesterday:
chucker: posting
Age 14: Nope, it won't get better.
Age 17: Nope, it won't get better.
Age 20: Nope, it won't get better. Okay, maybe a little.
Age 23: Nope, it won't get better.
probably isn't imaginative enough, is it :p
Capella: haha. I dunno, it's almost poetic.
Age 19: Business school is for suckers, don't waste your time - study computer science instead.
would save me 2 years of mostly wasted classes...
Age 8: Get out more
Age 15: Get a Job
Age 19: Rethink post secondary School Choices
billybobsky
2009-11-15, 14:05
Age 15: Stop writing her those letters. You don't love her. She is a moron.
Age 16: Ask her out, she is clearly receptive.
Age 18: Get permission to skip physics and get the extra major. If you do, you won't be bored in all further courses you take.
Age 19: Ask her out, she is clearly receptive.
Age 20: Don't ask her out, she clearly isn't receptive, but don't worry if you do, you remain friends, even though she will continue to take your breath away for the next year or so.
Age 20: You do love her. Your mind didn't just randomly come up with that shit. Try to understand her need for space, but that she is also testing you. Perseverance (without the neurotic outbursts) will win.
Age 21: Stop fighting over meaningless points. Get her to clarify her statements which are often the source of confusion.
Age 21.5: Get applications into MD/PhD early. Write the essay about something other than your not doing volunteer work. Call the admissions office once you are wait listed and tell them you really liked their program. It isn't begging per se, and it isn't a lie. Don't worry about the girl, she does love you.
Age 22: If that fails. Get applications in early, and don't sweat the small stuff. Show your passion.
Age 23: Stop fighting with the girl. Stop it now. And if the desire to get back at her by cheating arises, expunge it from your soul. Now.
Age 24: If that failed, your life is going to suck for the remainder of grad school.
Age 25: Don't ask the cute medical physics masters student out, she is a depressing void of humanity.
Age 27: Ask her out, she is clearly receptive -- and gets more attractive over the years.
Age 27: If not, you will meet a nice girl who is a little weird and emotionally broken. Date her, but break up with her when you realize it isn't going to last. She is a good person. Don't wait until the very existence of a relationship is a drain on both of your lives.
Age 29: Write your dissertation, you moron.
We're such a bright, uplifting bunch. :lol:
All ages: Je ne regrette rien. Carry on.
Dear Maciej, I am a wealthy Nigerian prince who needs assistance...
Oh wait, that's not the email I wanna get. Haha.
Too much girl drama in these posts... IMO. I'd like to get an email that says "Invest discretely in Yahoo, Apple, Microsoft.. get out before 2009. Seriously."
All ages: Je ne regrete rien. Carry on.
Yeah, I agree.
billybobsky
2009-11-15, 14:55
I think regrets are a natural product of living life. not letting them slow you down is critical.
Hmmm ... interesting subject!
Age 13 - "Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths."
billybobsky
2009-11-15, 15:57
so wait, you didn't trust in your deity at age 13? I find this surprising...
so wait, you didn't trust in your deity at age 13? I find this surprising...
Short story - no. But this is a side conversation we can have elsewhere ... not intending to derail this cool thread.
ETA: I agree with above, I would have also given investment tips.
Or ... more noble ... try to divert a catastrophe such as 9/11.
Age 14: Don't ever take anti-depressants. Your family are all crazy, not you. Keep exercising regularly. Your new friend in grade 9 is the best friend you could ever dream of. All of your other "close" friends are selfish fucks who don't care about you the same way you do about them. The Iranian keyboard player is a good guy too (you might meet him next year). When your parents get divorced, move in with your dad as soon as you can. You can't save your brother.
Don't worry: it takes you a while, but eventually you do get laid. It's not very good with the first girl you sleep with, but your next one is incredible.
Age 19: Don't date the Irish girl. She won't feel the same way about you as you do her, her family is nuts, and she becomes an alcoholic. Oh, and you will never be a rock star. Sorry, but it's true.
Age 26: Don't move into that place owned by two doctors. It's terrible. Find a small, cheap place. Your wife is going to have to leave for most of the year because her mother has Alzheimer's. Encourage her to get her mom into long term care as soon as she can. Caring for her mom will seriously damage her health, and her mom will be much happier in the care home than she is at home.
Age 27: When you go to grad school, another grad student will try to talk to you at the intro party during the break. Don't trust him, he is a deceptive and manipulative bastard.
Age 29: Don't try to save your family. You can't. Seriously. None of them will ever want to change. Focus all of your energy on your own life.
Two days ago: When you're ordering your computer parts, don't get an IDE DVD drive. You'll put one in your cart without noticing. It's not a big deal, but I just saved you like $10. Oh, and you don't need those SATA cables either. Make that $16. You're welcome.
This is awesome, guys. You probably figured out this is posted in CE because it's for a story.
Here's the first third of said story:
Violating Causality
Every morning, Mark got out of his bed and checked his email. For the three months they’d been living together, Sean watched Mark do this every single morning, before he did anything else. Sean had figured that Mark was just the obsessive compulsive type, but Mark didn’t seem to be obsessed with anything else in his life like he was with checking his email at the crack of dawn. In fact, Mark was one of the most relaxed, laid back, confident people that Sean knew... after he got his morning email fix, of course.
One day, curiosity got the best of Sean, and as they were both getting out of bed for the 9:40 class they had together, Sean simply blurted it out.
“Mark?”
Mark sat at his desk, scanning the screen on his laptop, and without turning, he spoke. “Sean?”
“Every morning you get out of bed and you check your email. Why? What is so urgent that you need to check your inbox every single morning, like clockwork, before you do anything else?”
Mark ignored Sean as he continued to read his email, and the roommates were joined by silence for nearly a minute. Mark closed the email window and stood up to stretch.
“Mark?”
Mark turned and smiled at Sean, who was still in bed. “I knew you were about to ask that.”
“You did, did you?”
“Of course. And before you ask why, I can answer both questions at once.”
Sean swung his legs out of bed and focused intently on Mark. Mark would sometimes go into a cryptic ‘I know more than you’ mode, and while it originally bothered Sean, the creepy part about it was, Mark was almost always right. Sometimes it seemed as if Mark could read the minds of those around him.
“On any other day, I’d hesitate to share this with you. But today, I know it’s safe, because I know you’ll never tell another living soul. Right Sean?”
Sean blinked. This was semi-typical Mark behavior, but never before had it been directed so strongly at Sean. “Your secret is safe with me.”
“Good. Because nobody else knows what I am about to tell you, except for my therapist, and she’s legally bound to keep my secret. But I know I can trust you.”
Mark ambled over to the other side of the small dorm room and grabbed his toothbrush and shampoo from the closet, as well as his towel. He spoke as he moved.
“Every morning, at exactly 7 AM, I receive an email.”
“From who?”
“From myself.”
“Why do you send yourself an email every day?”
“I don’t. The email is from the future.”
Sean got out of bed. “Excuse me?”
“Every morning, there’s a new email in my inbox, from my future self.”
“You’re joking.”
Mark tossed the towel over his shoulder and grinned. “Do I look like I’m joking?”
“How do you know it’s from the future?”
“The timestamp. They all have the same timestamp. February 21, 2010.”
“That kind of thing can be forged, you know that.”
“I know, but they are from the future. My future self knows things that only he could know.”
Sean had a feeling he would have to get used to strange sentences like that one. “Okay, then, what does your future self tell you?”
Mark laughed. “Oh, all sorts of things. But normally, it’s a recap of the day I’m about to have. I point out things I need to avoid and things I need to go out of my way to find or do.”
“And you just do these things?”
“Wouldn’t you?”
“I don’t know.”
He smiled again. “You would. My future self, he’s always right about what needs to be done. Obviously—he’s older and wiser than I, and he’s seen all of this before.”
Sean began to search for his towel so he could take a shower after Mark. “How long have you been getting these emails?”
“Since I was fourteen.”
Sean was shocked. “You’ve been getting an email every day from your future self for four years?"
“Yup. I get one almost every morning. I’m going to hop in the shower. We’ve got time to grab breakfast before class, right?”
Sean glanced at the clock. “Yeah, sure.”
“Sounds good.” Mark opened the door and headed down the hall to the showers, while Sean simply sat back down on his bed and looked out the window. Never before in his life had something so ridiculous made so much sense. Everything strange about Mark suddenly added up, but those questions about Mark had now transformed themselves into questions about the nature of the universe itself.
so wait, you didn't trust in your deity at age 13? I find this surprising...
Really? It seems to me that's about the age that people either start questioning everything, or learn to question nothing.
so wait, you didn't trust in your deity at age 13? I find this surprising...
Why so shocking? I never even went to a church service till I was 14. I know some people who didn't start going till they were in their 30s. In some ways my early views of church is a regret, if I went in to the same situation now that I did when I was 14, I most likely would have been far less trusting.
Gargoyle
2009-11-15, 17:22
Anytime: Life can be tough, but sometimes you gotta figure this crap out for yourself, so I am not telling you anything! The fact that I am here thinking about this question means that your doing OK and you've not killed us both yet, so it's all good! Cya!
Really? It seems to me that's about the age that people either start questioning everything, or learn to question nothing.
Bingo!
julesstoop
2009-11-15, 19:08
18: Don't go to med school
20: Become a bass player
22: Go to the funeral and hold her, she won't forgive herself but this might just help.
28: stop falling in love!
30: just stop!!
30: There's someone waiting for you. Go to this pub (directions) and talk to this girl (description). Find out if she really likes you. If she does: take care of her for the rest of your life, if she doesn't: be gentle and leave (you don't want to break the space-time continuum)
32: Be nice to her, she loves you. No! the other one!
35: Just leave her to be: she tells the truth.
Dear Past 709,
I could tell you a bunch of shit to avoid that's going to get you into tons of trouble, but you wouldn't listen to me anyways so Fuck You.
Love,
Future 709
PS: In 2010 we have flying cars, unlimited android pussy and everyone has finally figured out that religion is a scam. It's pretty awesome. If you don't fuck up the timeline somehow you're going to be super happy.
18: You made a poor choice not listening to EVERYONE tell you not to marry that bitch but you got a great kid out of it. There really is a silver lining in every cloud.
27: You did a great job listening to EVERYONE tell you to marry that woman. Good work, you really are blessed. :)
Freewell
2009-11-15, 20:22
7: "Run, as fast as you can, and tell any and every trusted person in your life what he just did!!!!"
10: "God does NOT hate you for what that person did to you... He loves you very much!! Never allow anyone to convince you otherwise!"
11: "Obey your parents and show them proper respect, but do not embrace their newfound legalism or base your self-worth on what others of the same persuasions might think of you."
18: "Don't lose hope... Your life will be beautiful beyond words! All is not lost!!"
19: "Relax... College will in the end be one of the greatest stepping stones of your life!"
21: "Do NOT allow yourself to be pushed into being engaged to that homicidal asshole...Your first instincts were right on, in spite of your family being blinded by his status and money!"
23: "This all-consuming pain will someday reveal blessing beyond measure... Do not stop loving. Do not stop living. One day you will breathe again."
23 1/2: "Do not give up!! Ignore the jackasses who are trying to destroy you and steal your last thread of hope... In a decade, you will be living the life of your dreams, and they will be stuck wallowing in their own pompous yet empty, self-glorifying dead-end ruts of meaninglessness."
25: "You can't change your family, and you can't carry around the burden of their choices!! Grown folks will do what grown folks will do!!!"
27: "Your love for God is more than your emotional attachment to him will ever be... He will ask you to choose one or the other... Keep it at an acquaintance level from the beggining."
27: "HE is the most awesome man you will ever meet... Open up your heart, and believe!!!"
28: "If you had any idea how much God is going to bless you through all this, you would be blown away!!!!"
30: "Babies will come in the right time... Continue to give him the time and space he needs to be ready for this part of life without pressuring him in any way. It will be sooooooooooo worth it!!!"
36: Pop-quiz: "It STILL doesn't matter what others think of you... Just a reminder!!" :)
billybobsky
2009-11-15, 21:12
Really? It seems to me that's about the age that people either start questioning everything, or learn to question nothing.
Why so shocking? I never even went to a church service till I was 14. I know some people who didn't start going till they were in their 30s. In some ways my early views of church is a regret, if I went in to the same situation now that I did when I was 14, I most likely would have been far less trusting.
Bingo!
Perhaps it is my cultural background, age 13 is pretty much when you decide you aren't going to continue with the nonsense.
Perhaps it is my cultural background, age 13 is pretty much when you decide you aren't going to continue with the nonsense.
"What do you mean Santa Claus isn't real? :wtf:"
:lol:
I figured out Santa was my parents when I was about 6 - I noticed that his handwriting was the same as my dad's - but I didn't say anything in case they'd stop giving me the "Santa" presents (and he ended up bringing me an NES a couple of years later). How's that for cagey?
Perhaps it is my cultural background, age 13 is pretty much when you decide you aren't going to continue with the nonsense.
Looks like our early lives were very different. I was already an atheist when I was 13, having been raised by agnostic parents, the idea of going to a religious event was not high on my list of things to do, to say the least. :lol:
PS: In 2010 we have flying cars, unlimited android pussy and everyone has finally figured out that religion is a scam. It's pretty awesome. If you don't fuck up the timeline somehow you're going to be super happy.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I should have thought of that. :lol:
joveblue
2009-11-16, 09:00
Age 19: Business school is for suckers, don't waste your time - study computer science instead.
would save me 2 years of mostly wasted classes...
Same here, but replace 2 years with 4 years and computer science with probably architecture.
Oh, and "suck it up and get a Mac" :p
billybobsky
2009-11-16, 09:36
Looks like our early lives were very different. I was already an atheist when I was 13, having been raised by agnostic parents, the idea of going to a religious event was not high on my list of things to do, to say the least. :lol:
don't get me wrong, so was I. but i went through the formal religious education of my sort-of-atheist parents (they know their isn't a deity, but cannot shake the usefulness of having one at hand)...
I discovered religion when I was 17 or so. One of the best things that's ever happened to me.
I wasn't going to say anything, but I've decided I'm going to:
I think that dismissing religion as nonsense is nonsense. Lacking interest in it for oneself is one thing, but dismissing everyone's experience/beliefs/etc. as nonsense, if that was indeed what you were implying, is incredibly arrogant. If it wasn't, then I apologize.
Is it really necessary for the atheists/non-religious members to bash religion every time someone mentions their beliefs, even in passing?
don't get me wrong, so was I. but i went through the formal religious education of my sort-of-atheist parents (they know their isn't a deity, but cannot shake the usefulness of having one at hand)...
My point was, a different cultural background. Like Swox, I came to understand that there may be some value in "religious" systems later in life, not that it was something forced on me as a child.
Kid Advice
Age 9: thank your parents for the nice thought but do not ever pick up those golf clubs again. Let them collect dust! Go practice your basketball and baseball, and ask your brothers to teach you how to skate and play hockey. Tell them you'll give them your allowance if they sell your golf clubs at the local sports shop (since you can't bike there), and use the money to buy you a pair of skates and a hockey stick. Tell them only a douchebag would deny his little brother to opportunity to learn the world's greatest sport, so that he doesn't have to teach himself when he's 28!
Age 11: stop worrying about the chics... in a few years you'll have all those problems solved, but you won't have some of the academic challenges solved. By doing your math homework every night right now, it will make math (and science) much easier later on, and open all kinds of doors to do cool stuff (stuff that will bring even more chics!). And don't go by the math book first; find someone who is good at explaining math in real terms... it will be much easier to understand the books afterward if you do that first.
Age 13: Stopping eating all the junk food and start working out more, so you can be cut like a rock in 3 or 4 years. The older you get, the harder you have to work out to be cut like a rock. Also the earlier you start the more the results will stick with you over time, vs. starting after high school.
Man Advice
Age 21: Tell your brother to see a different doctor (the one he has now is not on the right track) and to keep taking the prescription until the new doctor gives him a treatment that works better, or something awful will happen in the not too distant future.
Age 26: Tell your best friend not to marry that woman, and that you can't in good conscience stand up at their wedding knowing the bad vibe she's giving everyone; nightmare on marriage street imminent!
Age 27: (Re: different woman) Yah she's hot, and flirty and good in the sack. DO NOT get involved. She's a waste of time. Trust me. You won't even learn anything about relationships from it; just a total waste.
Age 28: Take all that money you are thinking about putting into those other three stocks and BUY APPLE. If you don't do this, in about 10 years you're going to want to kick yourself in the nuts.
Age 18: Quit wasting your money on Macs and just build a PC. You'll thank me later. Oh, and please keep your telescope.
alcimedes
2009-11-16, 18:06
Age 24: Don't get that home equity loan. You'll waste the money on shit you don't have to have under the guise of 'home improvement'. Home improvements should be paid up front.
billybobsky
2009-11-16, 20:16
I think that dismissing religion as nonsense is nonsense. Lacking interest in it for oneself is one thing, but dismissing everyone's experience/beliefs/etc. as nonsense, if that was indeed what you were implying, is incredibly arrogant. If it wasn't, then I apologize.
Well.... no need to apologize. dismissal of all things religious is part of my belief system so you've just tied yourself into a gordian knot. call me arrogant if you want. i don't deny it, what i will deny is that you are in any position to take the higher ground here.
Is it really necessary for the atheists/non-religious members to bash religion every time someone mentions their beliefs, even in passing?
Actually, yes. You don't see the atheist/non-religious members of the forums mentioning their lack of belief in passing, ever. Now granted, some of us like playing with meme's associated with agnosticism or atheism, but we never will say, for instance: "Age 15: There is no god, nor a santa claus. Sorry." It just doesn't happen. People don't talk about an absence of a belief.
Of course, you could simply be of the mind that mocking religious artifacts, like I just did with the giant ten commandments is a suggestion of atheism, but is it really? Most of my jewish peers with low-brow humor (is there any other type) would mock it the same.
As for religion being mentioned in passing... I don't believe religion is mentioned in passing ever. It is mentioned to proselytize, scare up other religious folk, etc etc. It is never ever mentioned as an interesting aside to a conversation -- because if it is relevant, it is relevant, if it isn't it is always mentioned for purposes of the above.
How can I ever let an opening like that pass me by? Religion is stuffed down my throat 24/7 and I work in a secular lab in a secular field in which almost all members are non-believers... and yet... and yet my atheist boss talks about painting the other side of the last supper sedar table, my egyptian-american and jewish-american colleagues joke about their mortal hatred of each other, i cannot be near anyone with head buds plugged into their tiny craniums without hearing snippets of christmas music. Is it too much to ask, that I be allowed to mock this -- all of THIS?
Alright, kids. Break it up. Break it up.
Take it to PMs if you want to have a back-and-forth about religion/nonreligion/etc. This thread isn't the place for that.
I'd take a practical approach to emailing my younger self.
- Stop eating all the sugar now so you don't get diabetes later.
- Invest in Google when it comes out. And Microsoft if it's still early enough.
- Don't get married.
And that might actually be it. I'm really not unhappy with my life as is now. :D
Hassan i Sabbah
2009-11-25, 09:28
Dear 16-year-old-me.
Yes, your hair is falling out. But you will get lots of girls.
A problem:
If we could email to ourselves in past with information, wouldn't that then alter the past present, which would then change the outcome, and thus change our email's content, collapsing into an infinite loop?
A problem:
If we could email to ourselves in past with information, wouldn't that then alter the past present, which would then change the outcome, and thus change our email's content, collapsing into an infinite loop?
You're gonna love this story when it's done :D
14: Do your homework
15: Do your homework
... (same email)
18: Work your ass off, it's worth it. Go to UW, don't stop exercising
19: Work your ass off, it's worth it. Transfer to UW, start exercising again
... (same email until 24)
Gargoyle
2009-12-07, 11:35
I don't normally pimp out sites, but a friend has just launched a site he has been working on for quite some time and it fits in with this thread nicely!
http://www.infinitylounge.com/
Story is done, but I still have a week to edit it. I'd like your feedback! :)
Sorry about the PDF, but it clocks in at 2,500 words (12 pages double spaced), which is a bit long for a post.
Causality (http://dl.dropbox.com/u/576074/Causality.pdf)
First and foremost, can you make sense of the ending? There's supposed to be a sizable degree of ambiguity, but I need to be sure that ambiguity is accessible.
What do you think happened?
Here is an optional epilogue. I highly suggest you think about the story for a moment before you read this, as it clarifies several questions that might be fun to ponder on your own. It won't be part of the final story. Think of it as a deleted scene.
Epilogue (http://dl.dropbox.com/u/576074/Causality_epilogue.pdf)
[EDIT] Uploaded a revision at 12:40 EST. Sorry if anyone's already read it.
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