View Full Version : The Bitching Barista: or, Why Some Customers Suck
So awhile ago I made a joke about making this thread. And now I've decided there's so much stupidity at work, I totally have to share the idiocy with people. I plan on updating this semi-regularly with posts about new stupid things. You guys can feel free to comment on/about stories I share, I don't want to use this just as an exclusive soapbox where all I do is post and you guys just read and say nothing!
--
This exchange happens once a day. Every day. I swear. Sometimes the particulars are different, but there's always an incredulous or disgusted look that I get from wildly disparate people and yet it always looks the same.
Customer: I'd like a medium coffee, please.
Me: Sir/ma'am, we don't have medium, would you like a small or large?
*Customer gives me disgusted look*
Customer: Don't you have medium?
Me: I'm sorry, we only have small or large.
Customer: Fine. Gimme a (small or large, their choice).
In a related suck, if coworkers C and J get asked for a medium they automatically give them a large without saying anything, which hugely pisses me off, because they should actually give the customers a choice; they might be ordering a medium because they don't want that much coffee, sheesh!
I had also started changing up this conversation by responding with "No, but you can have a small or large" with a winning smile. But one customer decided I was being rude and actually had me call over my manager to complain. Apparently the "No" meant I was being disrespectful and was telling him he couldn't have any coffee at all. R has a sense of humor, however, and when I related my exact words to him- and the fact I had been saying it for about a week, and most people thought it was funny- then R told the man he was being overly sensitive and refused to discipline me. I've stopped saying it though, just in case.
--
Let me postulate a scenario for you. We have a case for our lunch food. This case is bifurcated halfway down. The bottom half is open, and holds pastas, salads, etc. The top half contains sandwiches. It is covered with a glass lid. The barista of the day- that would be me- has bounced over to stand behind the case, smile winningly, and say "Hi! What can I get for you?" You want a sandwich from inside the case. What do you do?
a.) Ask the nice barista.
b.) Lift the glass lid and take the sandwich out and carry it to the register.
b1.) and leave the lid up in the air letting all the cold air out
c.) Not only lift the lid and grab it, but then reach over the top of the counter and hand me the sandwich and say "please grill it"
If you answered b or c, you're one of the, I swear, 6 or 7 people who have done this in November alone.
Seriously, what the hell? The bottom case is clearly open, so yes, you can grab your own. But the top case is clearly closed, and I clearly came up to you and asked you if I could get anything for you. I don't know how I could make it any clearer that I am supposed to get it. And c especially annoys me because you realize that in order to he your sandwich your way I need to interact with it. So why the hell do you think you should be the one picking it up?!
I started getting annoyed after the fourth or so time it happened. So, when one guy came up to me holding the sandwich- and with the case still left open- I was like "sir, you can't do that," and he looked suitably shamefaced and paid and went away. The guy behind him came up also holding a sandwich, and I repeated the same warning politely. He replied with "well I saw the man in front of me do it!". Before I could think, the words "and if he jumped off a cliff would you have done it?" slipped out of my mouth. Mentally I was like "oh shit I'm getting fucking fired for this", but outwardly I just hastily tapped the register and was like "your total is $5.30 please don't do it next time sir bye".
Fortunately, this story has a happy ending. When manager C came by to change the till, I told her what I'd blurted. She responded by laughing and saying if anyone complained she'd tell them that their behavior had been appropriate and my response wasn't at fault. But no one complained. So there.
--
I hate it when people don't know what they're getting. For example, this lovely exchange:
Customer: I want a macchiato!
Me: Yes, sir. Single shot or double?
Customer: *waves hand* Whatever's standard.
Me: What kind of milk, sir? Regular, skim, or soy?
Customer: Regular.
*I make his macchiato. Please keep in mind, a single- which is our regular- macchiato is a single shot of espresso, in a teeny tiny espresso cup, and then I steam some milk and scrape off one or two dollops of foam to drop on top of it. When done, I hand it to him.*
Customer: *stares incredulously at drink* This is not what I wanted! Where is my caramel?!
Me: Caramel, sir?
Customer: Yes! My caramel! In the large cup!
Me: Sir, did you want a caramel macchiato?
Customer: Yes! Yes.
Me: Sir, you ordered a macchiato, not a caramel macchiato. I made exactly what you asked for.
Customer: No you didn't! You should have known what I wanted! *Customer throws the cup at me. I duck out of the way barely in time. Espresso goes all over the floor Customer stalks off.*
Or this gem, also related to espresso. We have a list of today's coffees on a freestanding signboard on top of the pastry case. It lists our standard, our gourmet, the french vanilla, the pumpkin, and our espresso and our decaf. This is important.
Customer: I'd like a small espresso!
Me: *makes single shot in espresso cup and hands it to her*
Customer: *points at the coffee cups behind me* No, I wanted a small espresso!
Me: Ma'am, the espresso comes in these cups. A single is a small, and a large is a double.
Customer: It's on your coffee board, so it must be the same size as the coffee!
Me: *super politely* Ma'am, the prices of the espresso are different then those of the coffee, as you can see on that board.
Customer: I always get espresso here! It's always in that cup! *still pointing at the small cup, now with voice raised*
Me: *grasping at straws* Do you mean you get an Americano? Your espresso with water?
Customer: *huffs* Yes! That's what I said.
Me: … *thinking: no, you didn't, bitch* Well, ma'am, next time, to clear up confusion, you should ask for a small Americano, alright? *makes new drink*
Customer: Oh I won't have to, I'm sure you'll remember my order after this!
…yeah, maybe to spit in it.*
--
Seriously, though, I am not frightening! If you are overwhelmed because you've never been to a cafe like us before and don't know what the options are, just ask me. Some of my favorite regulars are regulars because their very first time I walked them patiently through things for more than five minutes, and they appreciated the service- and their drink- so much that they became regulars. (In fact, some of my regulars have become friends that, if I get my break and I see them in the food court, I have standing rights to come sit down with and hang out. I love those guys.) But seriously, I do not mind helping you. Use me.
But don't come in, have no idea what you're getting, and then snap at me when I either try to correct you (hi, cappuchino lady) or when I bring you something that is technically what you asked for but not what you intended. If you don't know the name, but want to say "it involves this", I will work with you. But don't bitch me out when your error results in a wrong drink. I am not a mind reader, and if I was, I sure as hell wouldn't work in food service.
*(By the way, I do NOT condone spitting in or messing with anyone's coffee, okay? This is just a joke. Kay? Kay? Good.
:lol:
You're my favorite poster (tied with lots of people ;)). All of these stories are so true. Sometimes you just have to laugh...
As for the small/medium/large thing, at least you are honest. Some stores, when they have two sizes, label them "medium" and "large," which always weirds me out. If you have two sizes, there is no medium! There is a big one and a little one!
Do you actually call them small/large? I thought I remember you working at a Starbucks, which normally (but not always) calls them different things. I always LQTM when I'm behind someone in a Starbucks and they get confused with tall/grande/venti, not because they're ignorant or inexperienced, but because the display cups are always right there.
I remember I got a Vivanno at a Starbucks and the barista called it a smoothie. That's what it was, of course, but "nourishing blend" sounded so much nicer. They shattered that illusion. It felt so much better, dropping six dollars on a "nourishing blend." :D
Oh, and for the record, because I'm sick of people thinking/saying otherwise: At most "real" Starbuckses (but not at all the mini ones), you can order a short. Tall is not the smallest size, people. It's just that they don't put short on the menu. They're devious like that. :devil:
Respectfully,
Your place of employment is clearly not prepared to be doing business - with regards to gripes #1 and #2. Medium is an uber popular size, I'd postulate it's the most popular size. I can't blame you, the customer needs to read - but a portion of the population is illiterate. Management should definitely replace your deli case, if you can open it from the front it really does suggest that customers can grab their own meal. Does it have a handle, or is it a flat lid like at Starbucks? I can understand your anger if its a flat piece of glass w/o handle. We had those for cleaning purposes and not once in my entire working career there did a customer grab his own.
Oh, and for the record, because I'm sick of people thinking/saying otherwise: At most "real" Starbuckses (but not at all the mini ones), you can order a short. Tall is not the smallest size, people. It's just that they don't put short on the menu. They're devious like that. :devil:
Actually, I think they don't put short on the menu because people would order it way too much and be upset at how small it is.
I use to work at starbucks. :o
Capella,
You'd fit in perfectly at the Coffee of Doom. ;)
Actually, I think they don't put short on the menu because people would order it way too much and be upset at how small it is.
I use to work at starbucks. :o
Oh, it's tiny. It's like, what, 8 oz? Like one of those mini Coke cans. But if people don't expect a small to be small, they're just stupid. The small sodas at Target are microscopic, but I don't complain, because they're labeled small.
But I can see how offering a very small beverage, even at a low price (they were test-marketing selling them for $1 during the recession!), could make Starbucks look overpriced. So they don't put it on the menu.
But I can see how offering a very small beverage, even at a low price (they were test-marketing selling them for $1 during the recession!), could make Starbucks look overpriced. So they don't put it on the menu.
Yeah, that's what I think too.
billybobsky
2009-11-22, 01:11
i can imagine the frustration -- an ex of mine was a coffee slinger during high school and would go out of her way to be nice to all sorts of service personnel. it would get paid back in buckets wherever she became a regular.
it's interesting the habituation people have with coffee. i can't stand the stuff, personally, but the behavior you describe is probably more severe with coffee drinkers than other consumables given its addictive nature.
Seriously, though, I am not frightening! If you are overwhelmed because you've never been to a cafe like us before and don't know what the options are, just ask me.
The lunch food case is usability fail, simple as that.
I'm always overwhelmed when I'm at a café ordering something, presumably in part because I don't do it too often — but I also don't like to ask, because I'm just not the kind of guy who unnecessarily talks too much to complete strangers. ;) So, as for the sizes, if they're clearly written on the board, fair enough. But for the case, it's just not good enough that you ask whether you can help customers with it, because 1) that still doesn't necessarily tell them that they need to ask you to get a sandwich in there, and 2) because they just want to have their food without having to think too much.
Yes, people are illiterate idiots, and become unthinkably rude when someone isn't afraid to tell them as much. But from the description, it sounds like your place has failed to make the sandwich-getting process sufficiently easy and obvious to use.
So awhile ago I made a joke about making this thread. And now I've decided there's so much stupidity at work, I totally have to share the idiocy with people.
You are not alone.
http://notalwaysright.com/
A lot of the stories take place in coffee shops.... ;)
joveblue
2009-11-22, 05:16
*Customer gives me disgusted look*
Customer: Don't you have medium?
That happened to me at KFC last night when I asked for a fork to eat their new "molten cake" with. It didn't occur to me until later that there's nothing else on their menu that a fork would be of any use for... :o
P.S. The only coffee worth drinking is a latte without sugar.
Brave Ulysses
2009-11-22, 09:42
....
As annoying as those customers sound, I think you fail to realize how obnoxious and arrogant some coffee shops (sounds like yours is the type) and their staff can be. I've walked into many coffee shops in San Francisco where you people just take it waaaay too seriously. It's fucking coffee and espresso for fuck's sake. Being a barista is not some sort of internationally respected specialty that entitles a person to be a dick to everyone that doesn't know how many shots are in what or what some ridiculously named drink includes.
I drink mu fair share of coffee and lattes and I get confused going into these places half the time too. Doesn't help the fact that they always write all the crap on some small chalkboard somewhere behind the counter so you can't see it from waiting on line or above the counter so that if you are at the counter you can't see it unless you back up.
The other thing is, your business needs to realize they sell COFFEE.... and when a business's entire model is based on that, they need to realize that most people aren't going to read the damn menu. They are just going to come in and order as they do everywhere else... so adding a medium to your menu or preparing drinks/naming drinks similar to other places is within the customer's best interest. I know I for one always go in and order a medium. Now you can either explain every single time how you don't have medium, or you can go call Solo cups, and get some medium cups, enjoy the extra 40-50 cents you can charge over the small and be done with it.
I have plenty of 'working in a supermarket' stories but dont think my username offers the anonymity required to post a lot of them ;)
As for coffee shops, they used to intimidate the hell out of me. So many choices, and I'm also not keen on what I viewed as being annoying by asking what everything was. A little research into it though has helped me overcome that fear. :p
As for the sizes thing; I think its a little weird to only have 2 sizes. I remember reading somewhere (maybe even Howard Shultz book about Starbucks) that if you have small, medium and large, people will generally go for the medium or large, so its perhaps an opportunity to introduce a more profitable medium size. Another word on sizes, it bugs the hell out of me when people ask for small/medium/large in Starbucks. Im not sure why it winds me up so much, but as far as Im concerned those sizes dont exist in there. To me its on the same level as going to Burger King and asking for a Big Mac. Its not on the menu.
Its good to see though that your managers dont take the ridiculous 'customer is always right' line which is clearly not true.
Another word on sizes, it bugs the hell out of me when people ask for small/medium/large in Starbucks. Im not sure why it winds me up so much, but as far as Im concerned those sizes dont exist in there. To me its on the same level as going to Burger King and asking for a Big Mac. Its not on the menu.
Ha! I'm that guy, I always say medium or large at Starbucks. If they try and correct me I just say "whatever".
Actually it bugs me that Starbucks feels the need to put their coffee sizes in Italian. Is their coffee even Italian coffee? It doesn't taste anything like the Italian coffee I used to drink in Australia (there's lots of Italian coffee in Australia).
"Tall" and "Short" aren't Italian. ;)
Though my favorite coffee shop ever was proud of their down-to-Earth attitude -- they had a hand-painted sign that read "We call a spade a spade and a small a small.". (Like Starbucks, their "small" correlated to a 12oz "tall," despite the presence of an 8oz "short" nobody knows about). Sadly, that places closed, a while back...
I agree that maybe Capella should mention the "popular demand" for a third size, which could be more profitable. But at the same time, I'm not sure Capella has the authority to, um, *introduce a new product line,* nor do I see the need to take out all my apparent gripes with the latté-sipping élite on her. But hey. That's what Ignore lists are for :)
Starbucks is one of those places that I limit myself from going, more than once a week. I remember the cup size thing confusing me the first few times I went, so I don't get miffed when people don't get it. I just avoid the subject by grabbing a Jones Soda 90% of the time. :D
The confusion starts when places that use the term 'regular' as their medium size.
So if you want a medium size with one cream/milk and one sugar, do you say, "I want a regular, regular? "
Sounds a bit rude, even though you don't mean it. :)
That's the fine thing about pubs where a pint is a pint.
:p
I am alarmed by the degree of rudeness in some of those stories. Not surprised, mind you, because I am aware that politeness is on the decline generally in our society. It's still not all that bad around here (I've never witnessed or heard about anything that is like what you describe), but not too great either, and, in my opinion, on the decline.
I do think, though, that your coffee shop should incorporate a medium size. That's no excuse for rudeness on the part of customers...but it might justifiably make them think twice about coming back if you don't offer a size that corresponds with the amount they usually drink.
This is why I order by ounces. "8 oz. double latte".
And then of course I get the barista has no idea how big their cups actually *are*... (The best one was when I ordered an '8oz double latte', and they tried to ring me up for a 16oz latte....)
Or the ones that get annoyed when I ask how many shots are standard in their 16oz latte. Just because some shops use one, and some use two, and one (god bless 'em) uses three... I like to know, ya know?
But yes, seeing other customers' behavior in most coffee shops, I can completely understand why (good) baristas go a bit nuts.
bassplayinMacFiend
2009-11-22, 15:26
Ha! I'm that guy, I always say medium or large at Starbucks. If they try and correct me I just say "whatever".
Actually it bugs me that Starbucks feels the need to put their coffee sizes in Italian. Is their coffee even Italian coffee? It doesn't taste anything like the Italian coffee I used to drink in Australia (there's lots of Italian coffee in Australia).
I'm that guy as well. I'm not pretentious enough to order coffee in Italian in the USA, especially when I consider every place I bought coffee at in Italy only offered it in one size. If the sizes were in Seattle Grunge terminology (depressed, OCD, Heroin Addict OD) then I'd definitely use that instead of the universally understood Small, Medium and Large.
billybobsky
2009-11-22, 15:26
That's the fine thing about pubs where a pint is a pint.
:p
except in the states where it is less than a pint...
except in the states where it is less than a pint...
Well, thats just because it's an American pint. Which is odd, considering that everything is supposed to be bigger in America.
Required watching:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jkpDEn7mGVY&feature=player_embedded
(It's about the only good part of that movie, but still.)
That's the fine thing about pubs where a pint is a pint.
:p
Or is it? Is a pint 20oz, or 16oz, or 14oz? Because I've had all three served to me as a "pint" in Canada. Crazy people. You can quite literally go to jail in the UK for serving short measures...
Apparently a real pint is technically illegal in BC! It gets worse:
http://lovegoodbeer.com/2009/08/a-british-columbian-pint/
Required watching:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jkpDEn7mGVY&feature=player_embedded
(It's about the only good part of that movie, but still.)
:lol: Never seen that, good one!
I think that is the best scene in the whole movie. :)
joveblue
2009-11-22, 18:32
Lots of coffee shops only have 2 sizes. Usually the large would be about the same size as the medium in other shops. So "the popular demand" for a medium size is probably imaginary, unless a lot of people are asking for a bigger (jumbo) size, which is really more coffee than anyone should be drinking in one hit.
Yea I apologise, I'm not sure why the size thing bugs me as much as it does.
To their credit the baristas here seem to just flow with the go and translate the sizes without starting an argument. I just know that if I worked there I would be found curled up in a ball murmuring "small is tall, medium is grande, large is venti" over and over. I'm just weird like that. :(
As for the size thing, its psychological, when offered 3 options, small medium and large, the medium and large are more popular. It's nothing to do with the physical size of the coffee. That's my recollection anyway, I'll try and find something to back it up. :)
Lots of coffee shops only have 2 sizes. Usually the large would be about the same size as the medium in other shops. So "the popular demand" for a medium size is probably imaginary, unless a lot of people are asking for a bigger (jumbo) size, which is really more coffee than anyone should be drinking in one hit.
Maybe it's a psychological artifact, but many people will still want the "medium". I think that Capella's chain is being a bit hard on her by putting her out there without being able to offer a medium. Guaranteed to generate complaints, which she has got to field.
Also, quite aside from the psychological effect, having just two sizes does mean that there is less of a chance that one of those sizes will correspond with the exact size the customer wants.
Hypothetical: Suppose they re-brand either small or large as "medium". Would people notice?
Or is it? Is a pint 20oz, or 16oz, or 14oz? Because I've had all three served to me as a "pint" in Canada. Crazy people. You can quite literally go to jail in the UK for serving short measures...
Apparently a real pint is technically illegal in BC! It gets worse:
http://lovegoodbeer.com/2009/08/a-british-columbian-pint/
Ok, then it's SI units from here on!
billybobsky
2009-11-23, 01:45
Speaking of SI units, we may be on the verge of a breakthrough in the US. Significant digit illiteracy has produced, on multiple products I have seen recently, the conversion of 1 kg = 2 lb. We are so close... :)
I sometimes order a "grand late". Like rhymes with band hate.
I just like to see the reactions I get. :lol:
I'm usually really nice, to a fault, but sometimes I'm in a bad mood and say it like it is. Like I ordered a drink somewhere where they fill the fountain pop for you. By the time she gave it to me the fizz had settled and it was a good 2 inches below the top of the cup. I looked at it and said "yeah, can I get that filled up please". The wife wasn't impressed, but I thought it was just the right amount of "screw you, lazy bitch" without even saying a bad word or raising my voice.
Sometimes customers are so obviously stupid that it's not worth arguing with them. I had someone bounce a cheque here, then come in and bitch. They wrote it on a Tuesday, it was processed and rejected on Wednesday, and she tried to blame it on me by saying that there was money in there on Tuesday and it's not her fault if it took me a whole day to get it to the bank. WTF??!!
I actually did deposit it on Tuesday, and I told her obviously it's going to take AT LEAST a day to be processed if you take a deposit to the bank at the end of the day. Her reply was "WELL NOBODY TOLD ME THAT WOULD HAPPEN!".
I told her ma'am, if you don't know how simple things like banking work, I am not going to waste my time having a discussion with you. Just pay the bill.
I almost fucking lost it when she pulled out her chequebook. :lol:
Is it 1981?
2009-11-23, 22:53
Not coffee-related (I tend to OD on fruit juice instead of coffee like everyone else in the studio) but three observations:
My local brand of electronics chain Maplin (http://www.maplin.co.uk) in the UK (similar to Radio Shack perhaps?) is unquestionably very anti-Mac.
After selling me something they claimed was Mac-compatible (the salesman going so far to say he'd used it on a Mac himself), they were very resistant at refunding me because I'd opened and broken the seal on the box (though none of the inner packaging after rifling through the manual that clearly specified Windows-only compatibility) and there wasn't anything technically wrong with it. They even cracked the 'You should've got yourself a proper computer then' joke which, judging by their smirks and chuckles among each other and following it up with "Lighten up!", they obviously thought was wittier and funnier than it really was. Took 28 days for the refund to go through as they have to test the product.
People rarely say 'please', 'thank you' (etc)
If you hold a door for someone, even basic eye contact from them as they walk through is rare. If you don't hold a door for them, they'll chide you for it – I've found middle-aged women are especially guilty of this; it's almost as if they expect people to hold doors for them. And let you get on the train first. And give them your seat. (etc)
People will walk away from you if you need help
While walking down some stairs to the Tube station after work one day, I walked past an American couple – who weren't responsible for what happened next – and slipped in front of them and fell down the stairs, cutting my arm and drawing blood. It wasn't a massive cut, but blood was healthily dripping and it needed covering properly. Not one person stopped, looked and asked if I was okay. That American couple behind me? They'd turned around and walked back up.
People are c**ts.
bassplayinMacFiend
2009-11-25, 09:57
In honor of this thread, I bought my first medium sized cup of coffee two days ago. It's the first time I can remember ever buying a medium coffee. :D
I've split off the long payment tangent to Bank transfers vs. Checks vs. Credit Cards (http://forums.applenova.com/showthread.php?t=33614).
In honor of this thread, I bought my first medium sized cup of coffee two days ago. It's the first time I can remember ever buying a medium coffee. :D
I bought a medium hot chocolate. Does that count?
turbulentfurball
2009-12-03, 06:48
Many years ago I worked for McDonalds, and for a time we sold an 'iced mocha' which was basically a coffee-chocolate flavoured shake. I had a complaint from a customer that her mocha 'tasted of coffee'. I had to explain to her that mocha is coffee. Ugh.
bassplayinMacFiend
2009-12-03, 09:05
I bought a medium hot chocolate. Does that count?
Only if it cost $4. :lol:
So this is tangentially related to the topic... my girlfriend's order at Starbuck's is (wait for it) a tall soy white mocha with no whip, no foam, and stirred.
Sounds like a very long and complicated order, but she explained to me that it's really just her telling the barista how to make a mocha properly. It's a soy mocha, so it should naturally follow that she wants to avoid dairy, yet in many cases they will still ask if she wants whipped cream (or occasionally will add it without even asking!), so she has to specify anyway (she doesn't actually have to avoid dairy, she just doesn't like whipped cream). No foam is sort of a personal preference but she's also had the experience of getting way too much foam in her mocha when there should only be a thin layer on top. And stirred is just because, in many cases, the white mocha syrup doesn't get mixed in very well and causes the drink to start out too bitter and end up too sweet.
Oh and I found this gem:
http://www.ihatestarbucks.com/bb/topic.php?id=1027
Favorite one is the "Cappuccino with no foam with the extra space in cup instead of foam."
bassplayinMacFiend
2009-12-04, 11:53
I know people that use soy milk in hot drinks because they think it reacts better to the heat than milk/cream (doesn't build that milk 'skin'), but don't have a problem with whipped cream on top (because they aren't avoiding dairy, they are using the right tool for the job).
psmith2.0
2009-12-04, 12:21
Man, I am out of the loop on all this. Not being a coffee drinker, I've never had the experience (pleasure?) of ordering some complicated, wild-ass beverage at Starbucks. I'd sure like to! :D
Did you all see that Steve Martin movie "L.A. Story" from several years ago? That scene where the camera travels around their table and everyone's placing all these special orders? This was years ago, before the big coffee craze, but still funny stuff. Being L.A., I guess they were ahead of the curve on all that.
Ahh...I love YouTube! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-CrML0BzOA)
Oh and I found this gem:
http://www.ihatestarbucks.com/bb/topic.php?id=1027
Favorite one is the "Cappuccino with no foam with the extra space in cup instead of foam."
Ooh, people are inventive:
oh!! we had these cheap **** (a married couple) who got three shots of espresso in an iced venti cup FILLED with ice. they would FREAK if you tried to ring it up other than anything but a triple espresso... then they would mosey on over to the condiment bar and fill their **** cups up with whole milk from the caraf. JESUS CHRIST, JUST PAY FOR THE **** ICED VENTI LATTE!!!
:lol:
Ooh, people are inventive:
oh!! we had these cheap **** (a married couple) who got three shots of espresso in an iced venti cup FILLED with ice. they would FREAK if you tried to ring it up other than anything but a triple espresso... then they would mosey on over to the condiment bar and fill their **** cups up with whole milk from the caraf. JESUS CHRIST, JUST PAY FOR THE **** ICED VENTI LATTE!!!
:lol:
My advisor did that for years. Triple espresso in a grande cup, saunter over to the condiments bar, fill with *half and half*.
Actually, the more I read that site, the more angry I'm getting. Here I just *thought* most people working at Starbucks were cunts... now I *know* they are.
Half of the complaints aren't really a big deal if you're working there and DON'T have sand in your vagina.
Actually, the more I read that site, the more angry I'm getting. Here I just *thought* most people working at Starbucks were cunts... now I *know* they are.
Half of the complaints aren't really a big deal if you're working there and DON'T have sand in your vagina.
Any high-stress, low-paying job where you interact directly with customers is going to cause you to get all sorts of silly pet peeves. I remember I used to work at a grocery store as a cashier and for whatever reason I'd get pissed off at how people would hand me credit cards or coupons. There was one specific way they could do everything that would make my life easier, but they'd obviously have no way of knowing. Yet it still bothered me. Oh well, I kept that to myself because I realized that pretty early on.
I think that link I posted is more about making fun of people for their silly requests... there are some good ones. I mean who orders a cappuccino without foam?
I do think it's weird that a coffee shop wouldn't have a "medium" size, though.
Ever try ordering a macchiato? I mean an *ACTUAL* macchiato, not the bastardization thing that Starbuck's *called* a macchiato and ruined the nomenclature for everyone?
Walking into a coffee shop, you never know if you can actually order a macchiato, or a 'dry cappuccino' or, because in Starbucks if you order a 'dry cappuccino' they STILL give you a fucking latte, you have to order a 'BONE dry cappuccino', unless of course you end up with the barista who STILL pours milk into it, in which case you jump over the counter and choke them with their own intestines.
And ordering a doppio w/ a dollop of foam over the top inevitably gets you reprimanded "Sir, that's a cappuccino" "Then how come when I order a cappuccino you pour steamed milk into it?" "We don't do that." Bullllllllsheeeeeeeeeeet.
I do think it's weird that a coffee shop wouldn't have a "medium" size, though.
That made me think up an evil idea:
Every time Capella gets a 'medium' order, she should randomly select between small or large and adjust the price accordingly.
If the customer notice, give the apropos response:
"It's smaller than other coffee shops' 'medium' because our coffee is the best!"
"It's larger than other coffee shops' 'medium' because we like our customer happy!"
For one-time or occasional customers, they may not notice it but regulars will be wondering if their cup was all of sudden smaller/larger than yesterday... Of course, Capella ought to deny that the size was different. "It's medium, just as you asked for!"
:evil:
bassplayinMacFiend
2009-12-04, 13:49
Well, she could say it's a coffee shop and not a fortune telling shop, get it? OK, I'm out. :p
Oh dear GOD don't TEMPT me. *ahem* I would only do that to newbies who want medium, though, not regulars because the regulars know what size they want. And I know what they want. There's about 50 customers who I just see and start making their drink because I know exactly what it is. Plus I greet them by name and have it rung up and done by the time they hit the counter. I've had customers compliment me because they're happy they get such consistent, reliable service.
Today's WTF: I got a lady who wanted me to wrap her sandwich in foil. Without touching the foil. I decided that she didn't want my bare hands to touch the foil, so I put on gloves and do this, and she still sent it back because I touched it, even though my hands were gloved, with fresh gloves from the box, and... I am not a telekinetic, I cannot wrap a sandwich in foil without touching the foil. Really. Seriously.
Off to do 4 more hours of this.
Today's WTF: I got a lady who wanted me to wrap her sandwich in foil. Without touching the foil. I decided that she didn't want my bare hands to touch the foil, so I put on gloves and do this, and she still sent it back because I touched it, even though my hands were gloved, with fresh gloves from the box, and... I am not a telekinetic, I cannot wrap a sandwich in foil without touching the foil. Really. Seriously.
:wtf:
spotcatbug
2009-12-04, 15:10
Today's WTF: I got a lady who wanted me to wrap her sandwich in foil. Without touching the foil. I decided that she didn't want my bare hands to touch the foil, so I put on gloves and do this, and she still sent it back because I touched it, even though my hands were gloved, with fresh gloves from the box, and... I am not a telekinetic, I cannot wrap a sandwich in foil without touching the foil. Really. Seriously.
Wow. What happened after she sent it back? I mean, it's not like you could then do it the way she wanted you to. Unless you used your feet maybe.
Maybe she meant that you were supposed to hand her the foil and she'd wrap the sandwich herself?
Should have just told her, "There's a great little coffee shop that lets you do this. It's called 'your kitchen'"
:wtf:
OUR CAFE JUST MADE ME AN AMERICANO WITH 5 ESPRESSOS>
Oops. Caps lock. Actually, I think it's better that way.
alcimedes
2009-12-04, 15:19
lol, you should have asked her to demonstrate how to wrap a sandwich in foil without touching it so you don't make the same mistake next time. :D
Tell her "I bet you $20 I can make your nose bleed without even touching you" and when she takes you up on it, punch her in the face and say "worth every penny".
Then wrap the twenty in foil and ram it in her mouth.
psmith2.0
2009-12-04, 16:29
Seriously, though...how would you even do that? Use the Force? :confused:
"Sorry, ma'am...I am not a Jedi. Yet."
What could that lady have possibly expected you to do? Maybe some sort of inner-wrap scenario, where, instead of touching the foil, you grab the sandwich itself - using it as some sort of bread-based glove - and grab the foil that way, with the sandwich acting as a hand barrier, and just roll it into some sort of ball until it looks "wrapped"?
Or just ask. I'd be curious to hear her answer.
"Can you help me out here and tell me exactly how I should go about that? No, really...I'd like to know! Because this isn't a magic-tricks-while-u-wait kinda joint. Shall I try to levitate the mustard and turn the cash register into a tiger while I'm at it?" :)
She probably wanted it wrapped without you touching the inside of the foil while you did it. You know, the "against the sammich" side.
psmith2.0
2009-12-04, 19:10
I assumed that. What sandwich maker worth his/her salt would do that anyway? Not Capella! :)
I think this woman was out for some magic or mindpower demos. She was just trying to find a clever, non-threatening way to bring it up.
She probably wanted it wrapped without you touching the inside of the foil while you did it. You know, the "against the sammich" side.
well, that's why I wore gloves, so only those would touch the inside. Also, all our sandwiches are wrappen in plastic, so even if my hands DID touch the foil, the foil just touches the plastic wrap. Double protected. And with gloves that's three layers of protection.
psmith2.0
2009-12-04, 19:47
"Three, THREE, THREE layers of protection! Ask for it by name."
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