View Full Version : The Perennial "Movies to Avoid" thread.
In keeping with recent threads about existing summer blockbusters, and after having experienced one of the most painful movies if my life this morning (and afternoon)... I would like to submit - as a service to the community - a thread dedicated to helping others avoid shitty movies on cable or at Blockbuster video.
Now, I don't mean the kind of movies where they are shitty but actually so off-the-wall in some respect as to be entertaining... no. I mean movies that intend for you to take them seriously. Movies that aspire to great things but achieve only great disbelief.
I will start things off by listing a work which as my memory - obviously failing - recalled, was supposed to be one of the more critically acclaimed works of the 1980s.
It's called "Once Upon a Time in America", and it stars all sorts of good actors (James Wood, Robert DeNiro, Joe Pesche, etc). It's supposed to be about kids who grow up on the streets of NY back at the turn of the last century, and grow up to be gangsters together. Well... let me tell you. IT SUCKS.
In an attempt to be clever the director decided to jump back in forth in time, in order to keep you interested and also give context to certain things. Except that the jumps are totally random and end up causing more confusion than answers.
Furthermore, this has to be the worst gangster movie score of all times. I mean it's SAD. There's this annoying, soft flute music littering every other scene, and it is totally out of place. Any minute I expected Yablo to jump out from behind the set and start playing... truly awful.
And in general, the plot was just completely without direction. What's worse, there is evidently an *extended* version - the one I was subjected to for over three hours as I waited in vain for the movie to "get good".
The only thing this movie has going for it is scene when Robert DeNiro gets out of jail and is greated by a nekkid (and rather voluptuous) beauty, pretending to be a corpse. Surprise! On the "things the director should be shot for" side of the coin, there are no less than two rape scenes, one of which is completely gratuitous and makes absolutely no sense in the context of the movie. Charming.
This movie sucked, plain and simple. Don't watch it, because the first 20 minutes are the best and you'll get sucked in to a hellish vortex from which there is no return.
you're dissing sergio leon's master achievement?
the only caveat is there are five versions of the film, a couple that he didn't edit (or was forced to edit) and weren't easy to watch.
it's been a long time since i've seen it, but i remember it to be a great film.
you have to remember, he was bringing his stylist talent to a genre he'd never attempted, and i thought he pulled it off.
he turned down the godfather, and regretted it to no end, hence this movie.
it's also very influential to tarantino among others.
curiousuburb
2004-05-30, 15:28
Insultingly Stupid Movie Physics (http://www.intuitor.com/moviephysics/)
Worst Physics Movie Ever
This movie is so bad we finally had to force ourselves to quit writing and post the review.
[XP] The Core (2003)
Matrix Reviews
"...The Matrix has not just become a popular movie but also a somewhat popular insanity defense. " Read about it in our review of The Matrix Revolutions.
psmith2.0
2004-05-30, 15:31
Wow, I remember this movie. Saw it YEARS ago, when I was maybe in my early, early teens, on Showtime or something one night. It was damn near four hours long.
I've rented it - the long, uncut version - within the past two years.
I kinda go back and forth on this movie. In some ways, it certainly seems to try to hard. Schmaltz and so forth is ladled on quite thick and Moogs is right...the soundtrack is odd.
But being that DeNiro and Woods are two of my favorites, well...
Although I do admit that when I saw it more recently, I distinctly remember not being as taken with it and impressed as I was when I saw it nearly 20 years ago.
:)
Anyway, to add to this thread of horrible movies, I guess my hands-down choice would have to be "Independence Day", followed VERY closely by "Superman IV: The Quest for Peace". I can't believe Gene Hackman was in that!
Unwatchable crap, both.
Well, there's the "worst movies of all time" lists, and then there's "you are likely to see this on your cable guide one of these days, so stay away!"
:)
Maybe my expectations were just too high or maybe the version I saw was an afront to the original (entirely possible if he didn't edit it), but it was... I don't know. Soap opera angst meets roaring 20s gangsterism. Didn't work at all for me.
Worst movies ever? Changing Lanes, and Gummo. There are a couple that are in their 'suckiest ever' category.
NosferaDrew
2004-05-30, 19:35
You forgot about You Got Served (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0365957/). Hideous!
And what's worse is that they're working on a sequel.
...followed VERY closely by "Superman IV: The Quest for Peace". I can't believe Gene Hackman was in that!I feel the same way about "Jaws IV: The Revenge" and Michael Caine. :(
I feel the same way about "Jaws IV: The Revenge" and Michael Caine. :(
he was unable to pick up his oscar for HANNAH AND HER SISTERS (http://imdb.com/title/tt0091167/) because he was filming that steamy pile.
i almost walked out of the THE PICK-UP ARTIST (http://imdb.com/title/tt0093737/) but i stayed hoping dennis hopper and harvey keitel would come to realize what a piece of shit they were participating in and kill ringwald and downey and make cages with their bones.
and before someone bashes it, let me just say right here and now that MILK MONEY (http://imdb.com/title/tt0110516/) is a fine, fine film.
The movies I hated the most:
1. Speechless
Geena Davis and Michael Keaton have about as much chemistry onscreen as George Bush and Ellen DeGeneres. Begged my date to walk out of that one. Christmas Eve and we ended up getting locked into the parking lot. Remarkable though because that night started the best two weeks of sex I've had in my life.
2. Hollow Man
The worst acting in history, horrible plot, boring set, terrible directing and lame effects.
3. Vertical Limit
Really bad acting and directing. Boring setting.
billybobsky
2004-05-30, 22:36
1. Cube 2: Hypercube... holy shit... They made the cube over again... damn canadians, didn't they learn anything aboot not making sequels...
2. Actually, come to think of it -- any scifi made for tv movie just about sucks... with one exception: the pilot to white dwarf... now that was some awesome goodness...
3. the french connection -- i am sorry guys, i know this is a film buff favorite -- but it is god awful, especially when trying to follow it as your girlfriend starts falling asleep...
billybobsky
2004-05-30, 22:37
Remarkable though because that night started the best two weeks of sex I've had in my life.
you were locked in the parking for two weeks?!1/?
(kidding)
I'll second the vote for Hollow Man. Truly awful; could've been a lot more interesting if the Director didn't make a blatant attempt to follow every cliche imagineable.
Another abomination: Random Hearts. This movie was positively the biggest piece of shit Harrison Ford ever did. Just painful from start to finish.
2. Actually, come to think of it -- any scifi made for tv movie just about sucks... with one exception: the pilot to white dwarf... now that was some awesome goodness...
another exception is Dune: The miniseries... although I guess that doesn't quite fit the "movie" genre...
It wasn't amazing, and skipped many parts of the book, but it gave a good overall synopsis of the series... (Children of Dune included)
Kung Pow: Enter The Fist is about the worst movie I've ever seen.
Imagine "Thumb Wars" meets "Iron Monkey" (both of which also suck, but Thumb Wars was thankfully short, and Iron Monkey had some cool fighting even though it sucked). Basically, they have about two or three actors total. Most scenes have the main character superimposed onto scenes from an old Kung Fu movie. ALL voices are done by the same guy. He has an annoying voice and while it's funny to see purposely bad dubbing and big guys with squeaky voices for a while, he seems to be very low on talent... all he can really do for "humor" is to make his voice all squeaky.
That movie was one of the greatest wastes of a $5 rental I've ever seen. It was extremely bad and almost never funny. Really dragged on too. It felt like it was longer than one of those epic three-hour movies, even at only 80 minutes.
In the category of acclaimed movies that nevertheless should be avoided, I would put “Forrest Gump” near the top. Who wants to see and hear endless low-grade moralizing from a simple but wise ‘cutesy’ hero in a pastiche plot (if you can call it a “plot”)? My wife fell asleep beside me and I ended up just checking my watch every 5 minutes. We both gave up with about a half an hour left to go. No doubt I missed a heart-warming ending. Usually I stay to the finish at movies, even if I am hating them, but in the case of Forrest Gump, I just did not care enough to stay.
My apologies for this diatribe to those of you who liked the Gumpster, but something about the movie really, really, did not 'click' with me.
I also hated "The Day After Tomorrow" - which I saw just last night. Schlock movie-making, and not even fun schlock (except for the wolves - I loved those little puppets). This is a subject that could have been such a better movie. Something that builds slowly and ominously and is actually scary - instead it was just a cheap adventure flick. Boring.
In the category of acclaimed movies that nevertheless should be avoided, I would put ÒForrest GumpÓ near the top.
i agree completely. in fact other than CAST AWAY (which i like) you can have any movie robert zemeckis directs.
also the fact that gump beat out PULP FICTION for the oscar for best picture will probably cause a few heads to be scratched in the future.
The Santa Clause 2. I rented this last December in an attempt to get into the holiday spirit, but ended up spending Christmas Eve with (from what I have seen) must be one of the worst Christmas movies ever made. (It is worth mentioning, however, that the CGI reindeer are so poorly animated and "voiced" that they had me rolling on the floor in a fit of laughter for over ten minutes straight - so that's at least something).
Oh, and I know I'll get flamed for this, but I thought Spiderman was pretty bad too.
i agree completely. in fact other than CAST AWAY (which i like) you can have any movie robert zemeckis directs.Surely you don't diss Back to the Future?!
And I rather enjoyed Forrest Gump. Sure, it may have a tendency to be a bit sentimental, but it isn't without its charm. And let's not forget about the famous "fruit company" reference. ;)
[...]
also the fact that gump beat out PULP FICTION for the oscar for best picture will probably cause a few heads to be scratched in the future.
Good point. I personally did not enjoy Pulp Fiction, (I have a low tolerance for that type of violence in movies) but it certainly was interesting and compelling moviemaking. Furthermore, it was influential movie-making – something that other directors, the critics and the general public refer to even today. Forrest Gump, on the other hand, seems to have had no influence at all after it stole its undeserved Oscar. People will indeed be scratching their heads.
[...]
Oh, and I know I'll get flamed for this, but I thought Spiderman was pretty bad too.
Funny you should mention Spiderman. That was one of the few other movies, besides Forrest Gump, that I did not finish. It was just so monumentally boring that I had no interest in what happened next.
Surely you don't diss Back to the Future?!
And I rather enjoyed Forrest Gump. Sure, it may have a tendency to be a bit sentimental, but it isn't without its charm. And let's not forget about the famous "fruit company" reference. ;)
among other things (bad wigs and fake facial hair for starters) i dismiss gump out of respect to frank wills.
and back to the future out of respect to chuck berry.
i had examples from other movies but can't think of them right now.
he seems bent on diminishing the accomplishments of black men and handing them to white guys.
Funny you should mention Spiderman. That was one of the few other movies, besides Forrest Gump, that I did not finish. It was just so monumentally boring that I had no interest in what happened next.
i heard so many bad things about spiderman, how it was re-edited to remove the WTC towers. and how many errors it had. so i was amused to find i kind of liked it.
Quagmire
2004-05-31, 16:27
Here are my list of must avoid movies
1. Wind
2. The Natrual
3. Scary Movie 3
4. Van Helsing
I just want to add that Forrest Gump and Bill Gates has something in common. They both wanted women to put their clothes back on.
psmith2.0
2004-05-31, 16:34
You know what I find particularly cringe-inducing? Flipping around the channels on, say, a Saturday or Sunday afternoon (usually WGN, USA or TBS will be the culprits here) and seeing some movie from the 80's that, when it came out we all thought was cool, funny, etc.
But you watch it now and...ugh.
There was the big trend in 80's movies set in NYC to show secretaries with bobbed haircuts, HUGE damn eyeglasses and, while walking to work, wearing tennis shoes with their business clothes.
:D
So many bad offshoots from that whole "Wall Street" pool, focusing on NYC, office workers, the Stock Exchange, etc. ("Working Girl", "Secret of My Success", "Bonfire of the Vanities", etc.). Just completely horrible to watch now. So dated, so cheesy.
Rivaled only by movies that came out that had a rock band in them, since MTV was new and anything remotely tagging onto that network was seen as "cool" and "cutting edge". That movie where Demi Moore played a rocker chick (can't remember the name), "Purple Rain", "Light of Day" (mmm...Joan Jett! ;) ) and "St. Elmo's Fire": total mullet and/or Jheri curl city, and long dangling earrings, sleeveless shirts and an overly self-conscious "Check me out, I'm a rocker!" vibe. And at some point, the hero of the movie would get his/her chance to shine and sing The Big Song at The Club (aka The Big Break He/She Has Been Seeking). And someone in the band would have a bleached mohawk - which all us small-town teenagers would just freak out over and secretly covet) and be playing a Roland synth. And someone even goofier-looking (perhaps with blue spiked hair) would be playing a heavily chorused, over-processed Les Paul and posing ferociously with rock star faces. ALWAYS. And the crowd would LOVE the song, and all dance together.
:D
:rolleyes:
Ewwww.
:p
Franz Josef
2006-03-09, 03:32
Starship Troopers 2 - saw it a few days ago. Avoid like the plague unless
(1) you've lots of fresh pizza,
(2) already had lots af beer
(3)have lots more beer to see you through for two hours
and BTW, happy bump. :)
Starship Troopers 2 - saw it a few days ago. Avoid like the plague unless
(1) you've lots of fresh pizza,
(2) already had lots af beer
(3)have lots more beer to see you through for two hours
and BTW, happy bump. :)
Agreed. That movie was beyond lame. I enjoyed the first one even though it was corny as all hell but the 2nd one...it just went too far. God knows why they even made it:\
Oh god. They couldn't have made that movie any worse.
The first movie was brilliant. I own it. I actually just watched it again recently. The second movie, though, you'd have to pay me (and pay me well) to watch again.
You need more than just beer to watch Starship Troopers 2. You need to finish off some hard liquor before you even think about getting started.
SLIVER, with one of the Baldwin bros. and Sharon Stone. From the mid 90s. That movie had no redeeming qualities; even the scene with Stone tossing the one-bean salad was laborious and predictable.
PEARL HARBOR. A perfectly good historical topic, crushed under Hollywood's distended belly and risk aversion.
FORREST GUMP. What Chinney said. That movie made me squirm in my chair it was so earnest. Rubbish.
I concur with Chimney's assessment of Forest Gump.
I'll throw Girl With A Pearl Earring out there. Apparently it's good if you have read the book (ie, you can fill in the total lack of dialogue and apparent plot). I haven't read the book.
wecallitfall
2006-03-09, 07:52
forrest gump is probably my second favourite film ever, and in no way should be avoided
it takes on so many different roles and covers so many topics, and actually touches emotions
and in NO WAY should it be "avoided"
To avoid Gump is to not love freedom. Homeland Security will be alerted to this thread's communist nature! Oh wait... I started this thread. So uh... yah, watch Gump. It's got a killer soundtrack. :D
You can say a lot of things about Forrest Gump, but law breaker isn't one of them (necessary for teh impeaching). Forrest is a champion of law and good citizenry. :D He would have to do something nutty like.... breach some part of the constitution, or authorize spying on his own citizens. Or lie to congress about the reasons for war. Then I'd say "to hell with Forrest Gump!" ;) :devil:
PS - I saw a really bad movie on cable the other day but I can't remember what it was so I can't warn you all to avoid it. :D
I would definately put "Dude, Where's My Car?" at the top of any list of movies to avoid. I still don't even know the entire plot lot becasue there were so many random thing thrown into the movie that I had no idea how they connected.
Now, "Dumb & Dumber" does the same kind of randomness but pulls it off brilliantly...Just don't get me started on "Dumb & Dumberer.:....:grumble:
bassplayinMacFiend
2006-03-09, 08:54
I watched The Core last weekend. Ugh, what a craptacular movie. ISMP got their review right on that movie.
I watched Starship Troopers 2 a few months back and wow, another crappy movie. Kinda reminded me of Pitch Black, as it had the same kinda plot, except for the baby bugs growing inside of humans stuff.
I must say I wasn't too impressed with the original Starship Troopers either (kept looking for Jon Anderson or Chris Squire j/k). I mean, come on, are you telling me the only weapons we have are auto-rifles or atomic RPGs? There's nothing in between? No land mines, or even good old fashioned grenades? Jeez. :no:
oooo, how about House of 1000 corpses. HORRIBLE movie in every aspect. It un-watchable even for a cheesy horror flick.
psmith2.0
2006-03-09, 09:13
And we have 'Nova's first Yes reference, I do believe! :D
I wonder how many folks will get it...
Don't see "Boa" (aka New Alcatraz). It's like Anaconda... except several orders of magnitude cheesier and more contrived.
curiousuburb
2006-03-09, 09:38
And we have 'Nova's first Yes reference, I do believe! :D
I wonder how many folks will get it...
Probably only those who have the album (http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?playlistId=602656&s=143441&i=602649) ;)
Gump was one of those movies deemed to be ‘good for you’. Often that provides a good indication of a movie to be avoided. (It’s the reason I still hesitate to see ‘Brokeback’.) I didn’t see Gump in the theatre, but my wife and I did rent it soon after it was released on video. My wife fell asleep and after watching a bit longer myself, I stopped the tape. I rarely fail to finish movies that I start, even if they are bad, but I just was not interested in spending any more of my time on Gump. To me, it was just a corny pastiche of homespun ‘wisdom’ with quasi-historical pretensions. But most of all it was just boring. I realize that a lot of other people liked it, and that’s fine, but I really didn’t care for it myself.
Did you make it to that REALLY funny part when he's playing football and keeps running. :\
;)
BuonRotto
2006-03-09, 10:33
Gump sucked, 'twas simplistic IMO, an axe to the forehead. Avoid Natural Born Killers. Offensive and worse: pretentious.
Avoid Manos: The Hands of Fate if it doesn't come with a commentary track by a guy and two robot puppets.
Avoid My Cousin Vinny. Joe Pesce couldn't save it and you can stills of whatsherface in those tight outfits.
Avoid all Batman movies between the original (which was only OK) and Batman Begins.
‘Sahara’ is a more recent movie that I saw but would recommend avoiding. It actually started out sort of promising, in a silly but fun way. It even had promise of an interesting, more serious, dramatic sub-plot. More and more as the movie progressed though, the only thing left was the silly aspect. By the end, the movie’s mentality corresponds about with that of a 11-year-old boy.
Among the stupider moments is when Mathew McConaughey and his stereotypical sidekick wander through the desert on foot, seemingly without food or water or adequate protective clothing, and, apparently near ultimate exhaustion, stumble on the wreck of an old airplane. Despite their condition and any real means to do it, they, in no time at all, transform the plane into a wheeled land sail and, in apparently fine physical and mental condition, they sail it across the desert, balancing on two wheels, with rock music blaring on the soundtrack. That’s not the stupidest moment, but it was the one where the movie just completely lost it for me.
Stupid movies can be fun, but this one, in the end, was mostly just stupid.
CoolToddHunter
2006-03-09, 10:46
That movie where Demi Moore played a rocker chick (can't remember the name),
Would that be One Crazy Summer (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091680/)? I love that movie. Savage Steve Holland's second movie, coming off the success of Better Off Dead. It's really not a very good movie, but it doesn't take itself seriously (the MTV/rocker angle isn't prominent at all) and the cast appear to be having a blast making it. Except for John Cusack. It's just a fun movie to watch.
Mission to Mars - It's amazing how many really good actors you can put in a film and still have it suck so much. More than anything else, the story of this movie was really bad.
Resident Evil - I felt significantly dumber after sitting through this film. Seriously.... I'm going to blame the director on this one, this movie was poorly executed.
And we have 'Nova's first Yes reference, I do believe! :D
I wonder how many folks will get it...guilty as charged ... prog rock appealed to me in my uni years immensely. :p
gump - never seen it, but know enough about it to understand the sentiment and it is just something to avoid
titanic - ditto ... just does not interest me
However, this is not in the spirit of the thread.
I don't really walk out on films because I like to think that I make wise decisions on what to watch. Furthermore, I'm not into short-changing myself.
However, I did walk out on one film many years ago. The details escape me now, but perhaps a nova-ite can enlighten the rest of the community.
I think the director was a John (something) who was known for left of centre films and the film had that hulking ugly big woman/man type person in it too as a trailer trash character if I remember rightly (and I know I'm not doing a good job of it now) - title may have had love in it ... may not. Something about pink too. Damn, I can't think of it - but I walked out on it. :D
[EDIT] - got it ... John Waters "Pink Flamingos" with Divine (the drag queen) ... ugh :no:
DMBand0026
2006-03-09, 11:53
1. I love Gump. Fantastic movie
2. Since this thread is about bad movies...I saw a whopper of one last night. We watched "Walking Tall" at work last night. Ho-lee-crap that's a bad movie. Bad acting, bad directing, bad script. The protagonist (The Rock) comes home from the military to his small home town. He realizes things have changed since he left years ago (duh). The old (cliché) mill in town has closed to make way for a casino which is run by a crooked guy. Said protagonist gets angry when he sees his brother smoking weed, than when his brother gets hauled away in an ambulance for ODing on meth.
Long story short, the rock grabs a gun...than decides it would be better to use what appears to be a 6x6 to fight crime at the casino after the cops won't do anything about the problems. He goes to the casino, kills no less than 4 people and wrecks the whole place with his large stick. He gets arrested, goes to trial, and gets acquitted after firing his attorney mid-trial and exclaiming to the courtroom, "If you acquit me, I'm going to run for sheriff and clean up this town." His outburst is met with a thunderous cheer from the court room (jury included) and a contempt charge to everyone in the court.
He gets elected, fires all his deputies immediately, and things get worse from there. Fortunately, we got a call right around that point or else I might have been forced to go to bed at about 7:15pm for lack of better things to do.
Do not see that movie.
"Melinda and Melinda" - the wife picked it up this last weekend, and I lost 2 hours of my life. It was supposed to be a comedy, and I maybe smiled a couple of times. But what's worse than that is just how stupid the movie was - and yes, I think it was taking itself pretty seriously.
Should it be avoided? Not at all. I think all really bad movies should be watched by everyone! That way we can all talk about how bad it was. Kinda like how you find something that smells really nasty and you're like "here smell this, it's nasty" to the nearest person.
Add to this list "Transporter 2". This was so bad, that I just have to see if there was a "Transporter 1" and watch it. I can't help myself.
Quick plug for one of my FAVORITE movies "Waking Ned Devine" - Wonderful Movie!
I only now went back to the first page of this thread…and realized that it was started almost TWO years ago. More to the point, I had not realized that the discussion of GUMP started with my own post way back then. Without knowing or remembering it – and thinking that I was just adding to the mention of the Gumpster by somebody else – I posted again pretty much the exact same negative review of Gump. I am not sure if this scary or funny. I may be losing my memory, but at least I am consistent. :)
Does this happen to others on AN? Have you ever posted something, and then realized that you had said the exact same thing some time ago. (Or worse, said the opposite?)
curiousuburb
2006-03-09, 13:43
I usually blame that kind of thing on my evil twin/clone/doppleganger.
I have no idea what 'scates was on about with regard to that Yes reference.
Drop Dead Fred. i can't believe that i actually watched this movie, but fortunately, memory repression has caused me to forget most of the content. all i know is it stinks.
http://content.ytmnd.com/content/1/c/1c453fe6afc6d5897a2548135bf13d8a.jpg
Oompa Loompa
2006-03-09, 14:27
The worst movie ever witnessed by humans is (in my humble opion):
'Commando'
It was created by the worst director imaginable: Mark L. Lester. And featuring the lamest actors of all time: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Alyssa Milano & Dan Hedaya. It has the most obnoxious film score ever heard in human history (made by silly James Horner.) :no:
It was one of the first attempts of Arnie Schwarzenegger to show his 'softer side' to the public. The result: simply the biggest pile of shit ever created... and there was so much more to come after this disaster! :lol:
Just think about the horrendous flick 'Twins' and finally the apocalypse of shitty movies: 'Junior' :eek:
Windswept
2006-03-09, 14:36
One of the worst movies I've ever seen was a Ulysses film of some kind, years ago. Pretty sure it was an Italian produced film.
I tried to find the probable title at imdb, but there were so many listings under "Ulysses/Ulysses S. Grant" that I gave up.
I went to see the film with friends, so I couldn't very well get up and leave in the middle of it. It was when I noticed that one of the "silver chariots" was actually covered (and poorly at that!) in tin foil that the smallest shred of credibility the movie might have held for me departed.
I seem to have SO much trouble with foreign films in general. So many seem to have *such* poorly structured plots and such flat, unedifying endings. I really do TRY to find redeeming qualities that I might have missed. Sometimes I'll even force myself to watch the film twice, certain that I surely must have missed a major plot point along the way. But no...
I generally assume that I must be lacking in some finely-tuned sensitivity that would allow me to appreciate foreign films more fully - French films in particular. So I'll keep trying, and I'll keep blaming my disappointment first on myself.
But with the Ulysses film... omg. Can't possibly blame myself for anything about that one. :\
Oompa Loompa
2006-03-09, 14:43
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0101700/
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0211915/
Dear Windswept, if you haven't seen them... I can recommend them wholeheartedly. Both French films... (oh my roots!)... but I love them.
And I hope you will love them too!
Windswept
2006-03-09, 14:51
Thanks for the recommendations.
Will certainly give them a try.
bassplayinMacFiend
2006-03-09, 15:34
You should check out Cinema Paradiso as well. I liked that film.
There was also a Roberto Benini (sp?)film where he played a voice actor for cartoons while his brother was a voice actor for XXX films. Good dialog and some funny scenes when Roberto fills in for his brother. I wish I could remember the name but alas, memory fails me.
There was also this film I saw about a French wine family that was just chock full of good dialog and slightly deranged characters. I can't remember the name of the movie and I can only remember one line from it "Close your gash, woman, no sale!" (it was a memorable line :p ). If you could find that it could be good entertainment. Please don't judge the movie by the line I quoted though, it just happens to be the only thing I remember since I saw the movie many moons ago.
Oh yeah, another crazy family / good dialog movie, "El Dopa". Don't think that one was foreign though.
A movie that was bad but good that I saw long ago was called "Flesh Suitcase". It was about two guys smuggling heroin for a Malaysian syndicate. Most of the movie takes place in this hotel where they're holed up trying to purge the heroin balloons. "Remember, if all else fails, blame it on the dead guy."
A really bad movie I saw (which I can't remember the name of again!) was where this woman was followed around by alien drug peddlers. As she laid guys, right at the moment of orgasm, the aliens would vaporize her lover to snag the endorphins. No, this isn't "I Come in Peace" either, which was another crappy "alien drug dealer killing humans for endorphins" movie.
julesstoop
2006-03-09, 17:47
Don't go and watch The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe terrible movie.
BlueRabbit
2006-03-10, 02:17
We love the chronic! What? cles of Narnia! (http://forums.applenova.com/showthread.php?t=12176) :p
BTW, Timeline (the movie, not the book) was pretty bad. I'll second the suggestion of Sahara, too.
DMBand0026
2006-03-12, 11:04
Don't go and watch The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe terrible movie.
WTF are you talking about? I thought it was a great movie. Can you explain why you feel this way as opposed to just saying it?
oooo, how about House of 1000 corpses. HORRIBLE movie in every aspect. It un-watchable even for a cheesy horror flick.Interestingly, I thought the sequel (Devil's Rejects) was pretty good. I only saw House of 1000 Corpses afterwards and it was much worse. A couple lines of memorable dialog and that's it.
Avoid White Noise late at night, if you're used to leaving the tv on in the dark. Not because it's a bad movie but because the EVP beasts will come for yoU!
DMBand0026
2006-03-12, 12:42
Yes, White Noise was quite the scary movie. I still shudder a little bit whenever I hear loud static, especially late at night.
I can't believe I didn't think of these before, under no circumstances should anyone see either of the following films: Dancer in the Dark and Amores Perros, I almost walked out on on both of them and in retrospect I should have. Both films have such horribly unsympathetic characters that whatever message they were trying to impart was drowned out because of your disdain for everyone you had seen in the movie. I actually stopped listening Bjork after seeing Dancer, to many bad associations.
Yes, White Noise was quite the scary movie. I still shudder a little bit whenever I hear loud static, especially late at night.
Movie was messed UP!
http://users.telenet.be/eforum/emoticons4u/evil/676.gif
Giggly, I mean Gigli, is on TV next week where I live. I might just watch it to see if it really is that bad! :D
Gobble Gobble. :lol:
julesstoop
2006-03-12, 13:37
WTF are you talking about? I thought it was a great movie. Can you explain why you feel this way as opposed to just saying it?
Sorry for seeming blunt.
I simply found the movie to do the book no justice at all, which annoyed me.
Besides that, the movie has a very strong 'moralistic' feel to it, which always gives me the creeps.
I know though this is still an over-simplified explanation.
DMBand0026
2006-03-12, 13:40
Indeed, but still better than the one you offered before. You're right about the book to movie conversion, although those rarely if ever go well. Still, I really enjoyed the movie.
WTF are you talking about? I thought it was a great movie. Can you explain why you feel this way as opposed to just saying it?
I thought it was good, but not great. I was won over mostly by the special effects. I felt some of the Christian overtones were a bit too strong, but that was probably unavoidable given the original material and author. No, I've never read the book but I know enough about it.
DMBand0026
2006-03-12, 13:49
Yes, a lot of people didn't care for the Christian aspect of the film, but that's what you get with CS Lewis.
I guess my feeling that it was a great movie was because I enjoyed the books so much, and because I'm a Christian as well. Regardless of your feelings on the subject matter, it's hard to argue that it wasn't a visually stunning film.
Windswept
2006-03-12, 18:19
Last night saw Johnny Depp in The Libertine.
Ugh. I *really* wouldn't recommend it. We went to see this film because - amazingly - the reviews in the local newspaper were good, and because I am generally a big fan of 'period' pieces.
This film had virtually no redeeming qualities wrt providing an enjoyable evening at the cinema. Now that I think about it, I suppose I did feel a certain horrified fascination as I observed the omnipresent filth and squalor. I wonder if these 17th century people really 'were' as physically filthy as the film portrays. Even the Earl of Rochester has a truckload of dirt under his fingernails.
Here's a negative review I just read today:
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/movies/262397_libertine10q.html
And here's a sample of the *rave* reviews from imdb:
The mood, the sets and cinematography, the script and, most of all, the acting were all of the highest and most innovative caliber. Depp was in almost every scene and was fascinating beyond anything I'd ever experienced. His force and range of emotion and naturalness were exceptionally powerful and moving from first to last. You hated him and loved him, were repulsed by him and felt pity for him. You were drawn to him almost against your will, like a vortex pulling you in. All else paled in comparison.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0375920/#comment
The imdb reviews I read all seemed to be written by females already massively smitten with Johnny Depp, so they should be taken with a huge grain of salt. ;)
I guess I'll have to give the film some thought over a period of time, and maybe read up on it a bit more. As I said, I wouldn't recommend it as a pleasurable evening at the movies.
But, I would be interested in the opinions of others who have seen The Libertine.
I know this one was already out and it's kind of the opposite of what this thread is about, but I would recommend Aeon Flux. It'll be released onto DVD soon, and it's worth a viewing. The movie has a lackluster ending (not anticlimactic or anything, just not up to par with the visuals and flow of the rest of the movie) but it doesn't take away from the overall enjoyment.
digitalAngel
2006-03-13, 13:38
i bought Jarhead on dvd last week and was extremely disappointed!!! it was had a slow moving plot and the least action in a war movie i've ever seen. it just made me wander what all the money spent on war goes to because most the time they were sitting around doing NOTHING! i give Jarhead two thumbs and a big toe down.
agntcalvin
2006-03-15, 13:38
I'm gonna say "Darkness."
It piled on a bunch of weird things, raised a bunch of questions, and then.....ended. With no explanations.
psmith2.0
2006-03-15, 14:04
Here's my basic rule of thumb, and it hasn't failed me yet:
If it has Meg Ryan or Hugh Grant, approach with caution.
:)
I'm actually waiting for the ultimate Nora Ephron-helmed date/chick flick starring these two. And Joan Cusack as Meg's best friend. Title song by Sting. And Dakota Fanning too, I suppose, as the requisite "kid nursing a broken heart who can only be healed if the above two knuckleheads hook up".
"Sleepless in Notting Hill for Nine Months with Sally".
Windswept
2006-03-15, 14:25
I saw Mrs. Henderson the other day - the film with Judi Dench.
It takes place in the late 30's, early 40's, and wartime London.
Scene I won't soon forget:
...the entire male stage crew, director, and all female cast members standing around during rehearsal completely naked... full-frontal nudity.
Believe me, the guys were NOT anyone you'd wanna see naked. eek! :err:
Not exactly a scene from a Meg Ryan movie, is it, skates? ;)
Bob Hoskins full-frontal??? :eek:
That rocks. :D
psmith2.0
2006-03-15, 14:42
Not exactly a scene from a Meg Ryan movie, is it, skates? ;)
Doesn't sound like it.
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