Just to say a little "Hi"....plus updates about myself

[Leonis]

Hi guys

I haven't been on ANY online forum for over a month and a half and didn't know what was going on until recently. Don't want to talk about it.

Anyway, just a little update on my side. Reason I was "absent" in the last six weeks was because I was going through some life, mental and spiritual "crisis"

I am going to sound kind of "religious" at this moment so bear with me.....

Imagine when you are carrying tons of debts and completely losing sight on my life (I didn't even know where to walk to when I was out of my home!). I have been this since last November. I can tell you this is no fun. Absolutely no fun.

My emotion hit all time low and I was just a step away from commit suicide. Big thanks to God that I met other people from the church in my neighbourhood that give me some spiritual supports and their mention on the words quoted from the bible. My ex-boss suggested me to read a book called "The purpose driven life" written by Rick Warren. I did it and I can tell this book quotes a lot of reference from the Bible and helped me big time.

Now I am still kind of suffered by the current situations but at least now I have a bit of courage to face them. And now I know I am here on Earth for some purpose, in the past I kept thinking myself being born just to waste resources.....

Interestingly, after I made my first step away from the "land of depression" I did start feeling free. And I can feel my head, body, mind are getting much lighter. And I tell you that I finally am able to laugh hard.

And not just this, I truly think God does want me to be relaxed first and then lets me see how things are going.

A while ago quite a few people told me I should make a shift on my career (means doing something different). Well, I actually did think about abandoning ALL the stuff that I have done and go look for a cashier job and do it for the rest of my life (I was in extreme depression at that moment).

Now I am starting to walk away from depression I can see things are coming. About two weeks ago I got a chance to talk to a few people. Guess what? We are now joining together to start a video production company!

These guys that I have talked to do have some pretty good vidoe/film work. Their feature film actually did win awards in the national film festival. They came to me and asked me if I am interested being part of the team. I said "SURE!"

A long time ago I did think of working on motion graphics but was very afraid because I was (and still am) lacking experience in this category. Now if someone comes and asks I don't want to miss this opportunity.

We have just started. I finished the corporate identity a few days ago and now we have to work on the promotion stuff. My design "skills" will be applied here. The producer does have a good skills on PR and talking to people. The sound guy is amazing.....I will be the one taking care of the visual presentation and sometimes working on compositing stuff. I will have to spend more time on animation by the way. I can do modelling and background but to be honest my animation skills totally stinks :o

I think I should stop here.....I will keep coming back as frequent as I can.

By the way.....my interest has shifted big time. Computer stuff used to be my first interest but now this position is taken by Telescope and Astro stuff. What does it mean? That means same computer setup and pictures in the foreseeable future ;)

[NosferaDrew]

I'm not much for religion, but if it's working for you then I'm happy for what it brings you. Get yourself together and be strong everyday.

I can understand your interest in telescopes and such. I came across this thread (http://www.prounreal.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=50048) via a game that I'm addicted to and it truly amazes me.
I'm definitely getting a tele in the future.

Glad you're here and good luck with everything in your life.

[n2nrn]

Leonis,
In my experience it's amazing how things just "work out", if your sensitive to all that's possible.
Truth is truly stranger than fiction.

Keep walkin' the walk.
n2nrn

[SilentEchoes]

Leonis, I can relate. When I was 14 I didnt have many close friends, but the ones I did have I was really close with. We all (us three) lived right next to each other and hung out every day. Well, it started off with me having extremely bad ADD and going nowhere fast in school. I had to lie every day about my home work and the school was sending home letters every day. I literally just couldnt do my homework, and it wasnt a lack of intelligence (I have never scored under an 85 on a test in school) so that made it even more frustrating. I would get sick to my stomach in school because I couldn't handle it. Then it got worse, My best friend killed himself. on top of that there was very strong evidence that it was not a suicide ( IE powder burns, or lack there of) but there was no investigation because the lead suspect was a pillar of the community. I just sort of locked myself in my room and didnt talk to anyone ( that did not help ). Finally I got up the guts to ask this girl out that I had liked for a while and she turned me down for my other best friend.

Honestly I have no idea how I made it through all that. Im not even into hardcore drugs or anything. I think what it all boiled down to was I just loved my family and my friends. When things are that low you have a hard time believing in god.

PS. in the long run I did get the girl. It took a while but I did it.

[Chinney]

Leonis, thank you for what you have written above.

I went through a serious depression at one point in my early 20s. I posted about it one time back in .com. I won't post the full story again here - as it was an emotional experience for me to write about it. I will say, however, that I came to the realization that every single day of my life had meaning - no matter what - and I never looked back. That was almost 20 years ago now and, while life is not always perfect, the depression has never returned.

I hope you also find that every day matters. You certainly matter to your friends on AI (whether .com or .org). God bless you.

[Brad]

Wow, thanks for sharing everything like that, Leonis.

Like the guys above, I think I can relate. I went through a pretty bad depression a couple years ago, was on the brink of suicide, and ended up hospitalized until I could straighten some things out. It's sometimes been a hard road since then and there are still a few triggers I keep watch over, but I've found a new purpose in my life and things are always looking brighter than before.

For some people it's family, religion, friends, a new job... what matters is that it looks like you've found it for yourself. I'm very happy to hear that. :)

I'm glad you found a way to keep applying your artistic talents too. I know that I can't be the only one here amazed by your drawings and models and textures. Be sure to keep us posted with as much as you can with your role in this new production company! Do you know what kind of stuff you'll be working with? Animations on the level of Veggie Tales or higher-up like Finding Nemo? I assume things will be a job-by-job basis since it's all relatively new, right?

[thegelding]

congrat and great to hear from you....

even though i am a horrid atheist, i am 100% supportive of people that find strength in whatever...if religion makes you stronger and healthier and happier, then wonderful and god bless

g

[Leonis]

Do you know what kind of stuff you'll be working with?

The group that we are forming are currently only doing video related stuff. We are going to start on wedding and corporate training videos first.

[Defiant]

Thank you for sharing that with us.

I've been wondering after the last e-mail where you'd have gone. Gee, am I glad now to hear that everything is turning for the better. I was worried a lot about you, even though I've never really written that. And Canada is just too far for a short visit over the weekend.

I look forward to your phone call.

:)

(Isn't it nice when people finally find what they've been looking for? When they find something that helps them, empowers them? :weep:)

[Moogs]

Glad to hear from you Leonis. You've always been one of the reasons the original forum (and now this one hopefully) was such a cool place to talk with other people.

I am also happy to know that you've got things turned around now. At first I thought you were going to say it was the Canucks that drove you down....

;)

Seriously though, we all go through various stages of depression or despair in life; the key is to find a way to keep your head up so you can get yourself out. And you have done that. Just remember you will undoubtedly come to such difficult times again (we all do throughout our lives); when you do, don't forget the strength you found within yourself to get where you are now. If a person finds it once, they can find it again. The human spirit is an amazing thing, and I don't necessarily mean that in a religious sense.

It's good that you met those people from your Church, because no one should be alone or without a willing pair of ears during times like those. It's also good you found some new avenues of spirituality, but I would humbly suggest you give yourself as much credit as God or anything else. You chose to not give up, to seek out advice, to find new paths. Religion alone will not help someone to do that; you have to have a will of your own, and you do.

:)

As far as the video production company, that is awesome. You have shown us many times how creative a mind you have, as well as the aptitude for computer graphics. Don't doubt yourself there, bud. Be confident, because I have no doubt you are going to be a big asset to that company.

[Fellowship]

Thank you for your testimony. The funny thing about life is that in the darker times you can sometimes learn more about what is important in life than in the good times.

Keep the Trust Leonis and God Bless :)

Fellowship