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Robo
2011-03-23, 17:38
Because the other McSweeney's Internet Tendency-inspired thread ("Open Letters to Persons or Entities Who Are Unlikely to Respond") has proven popular, here's a thread based on another McSweeney's column, Lists. (http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/lists/) Basically, you post...lists. Creative ones! Most aim to be funny.

Things That Made Me Gay.

being too close to my mom growing up, and thus wanting to be just like her

being emotionally distant to my mom growing up, and thus wanting nothing to do with women

being too close to my dad growing up, and thus falling in love with stong male role models

being emotionally distant from my dad growing up, and thus not having a strong male role model

hating women, and fearing them

liking women, and wanting to be like them

hating Jesus and wanting to be gay just to spite Him

loving Jesus..."that way"

loving myself too much, and thus narcissistically only being attracted to people who are like me

hating myself too much, and thus wanting to engage in a self-destructive deathstyle

soy products



Ancient Scottish Textile Patterns That Would Also Be a Badass Name For a Metal Band.

Houndstooth



My Greatest Fears.

careless motorists

total economic collapse

spiders, centipedes, et cetera

the possibility that I could have cancer in my body right now and not even know it

irreversible climate change

dying alone and unloved

walking into a stall in a restroom and closing the stall door behind me only to realize that the stall is disgustingly messy, while a stranger walks into the restroom while I am in said stall not wanting to use it, only for him to patiently wait to use my stall, which I can't leave because then he would think I made the disgusting mess

Palin '12

Robo
2011-04-09, 20:02
This thread went over like a lead balloon covered in fat people. :( (OMG, I'm fat-ist!) So here is a more topical list.

Signs You Might Be Addicted To Minecraft.

you fear the day torches will start burning out

you take advantage of Minecraft bugs/glitches in your designs

you get upset when Notch fixes those bugs/glitches

you lie awake at night, imagining how to most efficiently light the tiny landscape of your bedroom with torches

you have written a Minecraft-related novelty pop song, e.g. "Don't Fear the Creeper"

you own Minecraft