Mental patient.
"Allergic to wifi"? STFU.
This is what decades of shaky, trumped-up "syndromes", conditions, disorders, etc. has brought about (and being a conspiracy type of nutbar, aided by the Internet). Fruit loops self-diagnosing themselves with the disease du jour (and making everyone around them crazy and miserable in the process).
Give him a big family-size roll of Reynolds tinfoil (and an autographed Art Bell 8x10?) as a peace offering (and then tell him to leave you the hell alone or you'll call in the black helicopters and shadow men).
Also...it's
Portland. Hello?!
