Dear Idiots in the Surrounding Neighborhoods,
If you choose to walk or jog at night - particularly on badly lit streets with no sidewalks, which make up most of the streets around us here - do me a favor and try to refrain from wearing the darkest clothing in your wardrobe. Humor me and, at the very least, consider carrying a flashlight. Or glow-stick. Something.
I really don't need to be sent up for vehicular manslaughter (and even if I escape any legal trouble, I still don't need the guilt and nightmares associated with plowing into another human being with my car) because some of you are just too stupid to dress properly for nighttime activities in the same places where people are driving.
And for you extra-special shitheads on bikes and skateboards...I know dark hoodies and the like are part of the look for the "teens on wheels" crowd, but if you insist on doing this at 10:00pm on narrow streets with no sidewalks or streetlights...you're simply an asking-for-it jackass with a death-wish.
Make one concession to lameness and put a piece of reflective tape somewhere on your body. Just as a favor to all us uncool 40-somethings whose eyes and reflexes probably aren't what they were 20 or so years ago. Help us out, and we won't accidentally run over you on a school night.
Deal?
Getting really tired of these unnecessary (and easily avoidable) heart-stopping near misses lately. You simply cannot go through life this stupid, careless and unaware. You're not Batman, and so the whole "stealthily blending into the shadows of the night" isn't as cool in real life as they make it seem in movies and comic books.
Nearly killed one of you thoughtless little bastards tonight, and it's getting old. It's been nearly an hour and my heartbeat/breathing still hasn't eased down to normal.
Your friend,
Paul
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