I sometimes order a "grand late". Like rhymes with band hate.
I just like to see the reactions I get.
I'm usually really nice, to a fault, but sometimes I'm in a bad mood and say it like it is. Like I ordered a drink somewhere where they fill the fountain pop for you. By the time she gave it to me the fizz had settled and it was a good 2 inches below the top of the cup. I looked at it and said "yeah, can I get that filled up please". The wife wasn't impressed, but I thought it was just the right amount of "screw you, lazy bitch" without even saying a bad word or raising my voice.
Sometimes customers are so obviously stupid that it's not worth arguing with them. I had someone bounce a cheque here, then come in and bitch. They wrote it on a Tuesday, it was processed and rejected on Wednesday, and she tried to blame it on me by saying that there was money in there on Tuesday and it's not her fault if it took me a whole day to get it to the bank. WTF??!!
I actually did deposit it on Tuesday, and I told her obviously it's going to take AT LEAST a day to be processed if you take a deposit to the bank at the end of the day. Her reply was "WELL NOBODY TOLD ME THAT WOULD HAPPEN!".
I told her ma'am, if you don't know how simple things like banking work, I am not going to waste my time having a discussion with you. Just pay the bill.
I almost fucking lost it when she pulled out her chequebook.