Thread: LoCash
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qroo
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Join Date: May 2005
Location: Boston, MA
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2005-06-02, 09:25

thanks for all the nice thoughts guys, and don't worry, i'm not beating myself up for anything.

windswept-- please post that afghan hat picture! my father gave that to him one christmas. jack and my dad always got along fairly well. jack came out to visit me during his spring break while i was still in high school, and since i was in class, he spent his days talking to my dad that week. poor guy, you go to visit your girlfriend and are left alone with her father for most of the time!

reading all of these stories about jack, i'm remembering ones of my own, ones i haven't thought of in years. i remember our first macworld together where he was too shy to say more than a couple of words to me, and the thousands of emails that ensued. the next year we sat in union square on a park bench, his head on my shoulder, his hand in mine, not a word being said. what did jack used to say? "knowing what is said when there are no words"? that park has since been redone and no longer resembles the park that jack and i experienced. it seems only fitting, like that memory is now ensconced in time and concrete, protected from any other memory being written over it.

i remember the early stages in our relationship, when we were 3,000 miles apart and i would wake each morning and eagerly anticipate the sound of eudora receiving new mail from jack (oh god we had a geeky relationship). i remember when we moved in together, sharing our first tiny apartment in boston. i remember the horrible ramen he made for me that was so spicy i couldn't even breathe near it! i remember intense starcraft games and late night visits to the deli haus, where we would challenge ourselves to their enormous strawberry vanilla waffles.

i remember staying up late preparing for his review boards, cutting mats and developing film (sorry for ruining those two rolls). i remember all the times he comforted me when i was homesick, and calmed me when i was stressed. he was the one who introduced me to DS9, to photography, to our cat arthur.

i'm sitting here writing these things and tears are beginning to stream down my face. maybe i'm sharing too much, but i feel like i have all these memories of jack that just need to be shared-- to someone, anyone, everyone. over the years we spent together, we loved each other, drove each other crazy, and helped each other grow up.

i wish you would have called, jack. i wish we could have talked again. even though there were problems at the end, i hope you know i still cared. we had a great, crazy run you and i. i will miss you.
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