Speaking of the Sunshine State, I got another. My favorite of the week, hands down...
Man flips out after post-wedding car crash/arrest, Weinsteins himself during arraignment/drug testing efforts.
Quote:
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Upon arrival at the county jail, Ruthenberg declared “All hail Donald Trump” while failing a series of sobriety tests.
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Well,
yeah.
Quote:
Ruthenberg’s blood alcohol level was 0.0, prompting police to ask him for a urine sample to “determine the presence of chemical or controlled substances.”
As a cop prepared the urine test, Ruthenberg “started to take his pants off and then spread his buttocks. During which time he placed two fingers in his anus.” Ruthenberg was then placed back in handcuffs.
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Yeah, that's called "too late".
Whatever the salary of the deputy is who had to re-administer the cuffs, it ain't enough.
"Is there any chance I can just shoot this fucker instead? What are my options here, Captain?"
Quote:
As seen in nuptial photos posted to Facebook, Ruthenberg was married August 30, the day he was arrested. His bride turned 20 that day, according to the couple’s marriage certificate. The duo was wed by a clerk at the Indian River County Courthouse in Vero Beach, to which Ruthenberg will return October 1 for his arraignment.
The auto crash Ruthenberg caused occurred a few blocks from the courthouse.
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"I won't be tamed, woman!"
But points for keeping it all convenient...married, caused a wreck and arrested/arraigned (and set to reappear) at/near the same courthouse. He obviously has a job in logistics.
Quote:
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Ruthenberg, who lives about 15 miles from Vero Beach, is a registered Democrat, according to Florida voter records. The email address he provided when registering is ifarted69@gmail.com.
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Of course it is.
I believe I smell a senate run!
I can only imagine the thoughts running through the head of the dad who had to give the 20-year-old bride away.
"
This guy landed my baby girl?! What did I do to deserve this?"
"But he loooooooves me, daddy! He's a good man...".
Oh, I can tell, sweetie. It isn't just any man who, in one afternoon, can a) get married, b) get whacked out on God-knows-what, c) cause a wreck, d) flee scene of said wreck, e) fight cops at arrest/arraignment, f) self-administer a rectal exam in front of strangers,
and g) be a registered Democrat while singing the praises of Lord Trump.
He's
special, that one.
This will be an awesome marriage. Of course, they will set about procreating immediately, because Florida can never have enough rat-tail mulleted youth. And those Ho-Ho's sure ain't gonna eat themselves for breakfast!