[LoCash]

God Dammit Jack, you are such an ASSHOLE!!!

Yes, that phrase has been shouted throughout my office and through various phones several times throughout today. April Fools Day at my office just wouldn't be right without it.

The day started with someone from our NOC downtown calling up the on call engineers saying a bunch of red lights were flashing on the servers and routers. The firewall here and also prevented our engineers at the office north of the NOC to not be able to connect to the servers. After ten minutes of panic, the guy at the NOC says, "Wait... they... they seem to be spelling out something. It looks like... yes, 'APRIL FOOLS'!"

Next came my pranks, which got off to a slow start. First I went into my Boss's laptop and changed the Word AutoCorrect feature. Now whenever she types: the Word will AutoCorrect it to be is. She hasn't noticed yet.

I also swapped the "M" and "N" keys on her keyboard. She hasn't noticed this either.

I also adhered a piece of scotch tape to the microphone of her phone. First phone call she gets goes like this...

Zucco: [My Boss] Hello, Vince?
Vince: Um, you sound weird... it's hard to hear you.
Zucco: Uh oh, maybe it's your phone. Can I try calling you back?
Vince: Ok.

click...

Zucco: Is this any better?
Vince: No, it still sounds muffled and hard to hear...
Zucco: Maybe you need to use a Q-Tip on your ears more regularly...

She even answer a call waiting call and spoke a few more minutes until it was obviously a problem, and then looked at the phone mouthpiece, at which point she asked Vince to hold on and screamed, "MY GOD JACK, YOU ARE SUCH A LITTLE ASSHOLE!"

People usually stay away from our office, which is kind of cool.

Now, earlier in the day I had emptied out the three hole punch machines' white paper circles into a cup. I then proceeded to her car, a not so new Red Infiniti G20. [Attachment 1 Below] I also tossed in a picture of my car because it's so sexy! [Attachment 2 Below]

She never locks her car, so this was an easy process. I funnelled all of the punch outs into her vents, arced them upwards and turned her AC on full blast. I had almost forgotten about it until she walked out the door a few minutes after saying she was going to the bank and that she would be right back. Then I remembered, so I got the camera ready for her return to flip me off.

Caught of guard though! I heard my phone ringing, so I ran back to get it and managed to record a bit of the conversation. [Attachment 6 Below]. The second .amr file in the ZIP archive is the best, right at the end.

You can see some remaining paper in her hair in Attachment 3 below, and in Attachment 4 is an interior shot of her car. Too bad my prank actually made her car look nicer.

Here is her reaction [Attachment 5 Below]. It may be hard to tell, but he desk chair is actually as low as it can go. That's because while she was at the bank I took the lever that control the height and zip tied it to the chair. As soon as she got back to the office and sits down she lets out a loud yelp, and I knew that today had truly been a good day.

I also zip tied the end of the phone cord at the receiver so that it won't extend when picked up, but she hasn't used anything but speakerphone since the earlier phone prank.

Well, there's always Monday...