Senior Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Westminster, MD
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Thesis paper?
[Editor mode]
" It had a 5 gigabyte hard disk based storage capacity, meaning 1,000 songs could be held by the deck of cards sized iPod."
-The sentence, while grammatically correct (as far as I can tell), is awkward to read.
"The iPod just feels exclusive and expensive, but that should not fool anyone into thinking that it isn’t robust."
-Take out the 'just'
Who is the target audience for this paper? You word choice should reflect that. (ie, if your writing this as an Internet article, don't use the word 'permeate.')
Anywho, a nice read, but I'm too lazy to critique it anymore than that.
"It's a good thing there's no law against a company having a monopoly of good ideas. Otherwise Apple would be in deep yogurt..."
-Apple Press Release
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