[Majost]

For turbulentfurball and all the others that haven't seen the movie, some relevant passages (NPH played an exaggerated, and apparently, untrue version of himself):

Neil Patrick Harris: Dude, I don't even know where the fuck I am right now. I was at this party earlier tonight and some guy hooked me up with this incredible "X" - next thing I know I'm being thrown out of a moving car. I've been trippin' balls ever since. Kumar: That's crazy, dude. We've been having a pretty crazy, night, too. We've just been driving around looking for White Castle but we keep getting sidetracked. Neil Patrick Harris: Yeah, dude, you fascinate me. Forget White Castle, let's go get some pussy! Harold: Huh? Neil Patrick Harris: It's a fucking sausage fest in here, bros. Let's get some poontang, THEN we'll go to White Castle. Kumar: No, Neil, you don't understand. We've been craving these burgers all night. Neil Patrick Harris: Yeah, I've been craving burgers, too. Furburgers. Come on, dudes, let's pick up some trim at a strip club. The Doogie line always works on strippers. [sings] Neil Patrick Harris: Lapdance... Kumar: [pause] There's a gas station. I'm gonaa see if I can get some directions. Neil Patrick Harris: You don't need dir- gah! Hurry up, dudes, hurry up! I'm losing wood. [they park, pause] Neil Patrick Harris: Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry... Kumar: Look, chill. Harold: We'll be right back, Neil. [they exit the car] Harold: Dude, what is the deal with Neil Patrick Harris? Why is he so horny?

...he steals their car...

Kumar: Do you know what the hell we had to go through after you took the car? Neil Patrick Harris: Yeah, it was a dick move on my part. That's why I'm paying for your meal. Neil Patrick Harris: [looks down to count money] Here's 80 for the meal, and 200 for the car Harold: What did you do to my car? Neil Patrick Harris: I made some love stains in the back. You'll see...

Kumar: [about Doogie Howser, M.D] So, I gotta ask you Neil, did you ever get it on with Wanda off the set? Neil Patrick Harris: Dude, I humped every piece of ass ever on that show. Kumar: Even the chick who played the hot nurse? Neil Patrick Harris: No... I didn't go all the way with her.