Just FYI (don't really have the motivation to talk about much of anything right now), Alcimedes had it right. I had installed the drive and jumpered it properly. Just had to find the hidden "Manage" thingy. From there it would only partition and format 137GB of the drive because SP1 was missing (which I ended up installing). But long story short, other than some old updates it should work out now.
Thanks, man.
...into the light of a dark black night.
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