Alright, let's go with Brad's idea. We can have a thread that all new members are directed to for hello purposes. I would also suggest Bruce's idea of restricting links and edits to those with 25 or more posts (earlier I had suggested 100, but 25 is a good round-ish number.
The combination of these two ideas should virtually eliminate the squirrels.
Boise State! … Boise State! … Boise State!