**Is It Real Or Is It
The Onion News**
New monkeypox advice is to have sex with your clothes on and masturbate six feet apart
…with a mask on my face and two on my crank, I assume?
I imagine people can’t wait to not follow these either!
With any luck we’ll be spared daily updates/briefings from Fauci discussing either aspect.
“Personally, I always strive for eight feet, and I prefer to also leave my shoes on. I will, however, loosen my tie…”.
**The sound of an entire room of reporters dry-heaving**