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billybobsky
BANNED
I am worthless beyond hope.
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Inner Swabia. If you have to ask twice, don't.
 
2004-07-19, 14:26

i was spanked full on with a large well worn belt as a kid for a lot of random shit mostly involving beating up my brother or breaking things or peeing on things (i wasn't really house broken until college ), the last time was when my parents had a guest over and my little brother and i were bathing together -- i was the responsible 6 year old and he squeezed toothpaste into his eye. i told him to wash it out with water -- thinking he would turn on the faucet and use that water, but he used the soapy bath water and started screeching at the top of his lungs. my parents flew in, my brother got off a garbled yadda yadda bruce yadda -- i think he was trying to tell them i tried to help. next thing i know, with a still wet behind my father spanked me the hardest he had ever done twenty times. it was soon afterwards that my mom asked me where i got the somewhat bleeding open sores on my butt that she and my father decided to stop spanking me (I had started kindergarten, i honestly believed at the time that they were afraid of being accused of child abuse -- thank god for the external savior that kindergarten was)...
another episode of cruelty acted upon me: i was watching television in my parents bedroom at about the same time. my brother was on the bed playing with a tow truck car that was roughly ten times the size of a matchbox car (in other words heavy). i asked him if i could play with it. his response was to, with all of his 3 year old strength, slam the tow truck's corner into the back of my head. i was unable to walk and couldn't really scream, so i crawled out of the bedroom leaving a trail of blood until i was at the balcony that overlooked the living room. i quietly called my dad who was watching nascar (the freak), who looked up and was stricken with a face of terror the likes of which i have never seen cast since (my guess is that my face was covered with blood -- i thought he was worried about the carpet). he immediately was upstairs, shaved the back of my head and decided that while i should get stitches it wasn't necessary and the television was soooo inviting. my brother didn't get punished for that one.
on the upside a few weeks later i took my brother's head and slammed it into the sharp edge of some exercise equipment and ran away (bleeding doesn't begin to describe what it looked like as i ran). (that was cruel, but i was angry and still am about that tow truck thing)....
most of my cruelty up until i was 15 involved psychological warfare against my brother because at first he would annoy me, then he wouldn't make rational arguments, and then he would just disagree... at 15 i decided it was unbecoming of a young adult to beat a twelve year old into submission...

that is up to 17... there are things i do now that are cruel to the people i care about the most -- its almost reflexive (i sometimes think i was a sociopath that chose a different direction)...
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