My favorite is the porous stone / bacteria comments.
Because ancient dildo makers were very concerned about microbial infections.
Thag: Hey woman... I make you this stone dildo so I don't have to watch your giant muffin-top jiggle.
Helga: I can't use THAT... it's made from granite... I'll get infected.
Also based on the Incan photo research Murbot did it's pretty clear outside forces were involved.
(Look even the size he's estimating is about right.)