I'm at the age where if I had a relative I disliked so thoroughly I wanted to punch them in the head, I would simply choose not join that particular family gathering for Thanksgiving / would join some other family members instead. I have learned to say "no" and "not this year" to relatives making plans that don't jive with the good vibe. It's quite a thing, that.
Plus it makes the next get together that much better since you haven't seen them in a while.