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kscherer
Which way is up?
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Boyzeee
 
2020-01-07, 16:46

So, now I'll talk about 10 things I did not like.

1) I do not like the lack of continuity between these three films
2) I do not like that TROS spent so much time trying to fix TLJ
3) I do not like that the writers spent so much time trying to make Rose and Finn a thing, and then just ignored it in TROS
4) I do not like that Rey identifies as a Skywalker. She clearly is not, and it doesn't work
5) I do not like force healing in this movie—it works in The Mandalorian, it does not work here
6) I do not like the Chewie death scene. The reveal happened too soon and ruined my emotional connection to the loss
7) I do not like the perfect formation of Star Destroyers; it looked awkward and forced
8) I do not like Palpatine's force lightning used to disable all those ships; this was a lazily designed weapon
9) I do not like the way Luke was just a has-been, worthless old womp rat
10) I do not like the lazy approach to Leia's Jedi "mastery"

It's not a long list, and there are other things that bugged me (C-3P0, again! Through the original series, Goldenrod was always used so well. His humor was well-timed, in context, and needed no supposition. Since then, he has been used almost entirely as an in-scene narrator to explain to us what has transpired or to lay on some terrible dad-joke.) but those are the ten things that stand out to me more than all the others.

Now, a bit more detail:

1) Episodes VII-IX are about as disconnected as any three movies in any trilogy ever conceived. They contain the same set of characters, but none of those characters retains anything even remotely like a constant relationship with any of the other characters. They are all over the place such that none of these relationships is believable. An obvious attempt was made in Episode VII to build a romantic relationship between Rey and Finn which was set up toward the end of the movie. Enter Episode VIII and that relationship shifts to Finn and Rose and feels so forced and fake that the relationship between Anakin and Padme looks like genius screen-writing, and then in Episode IX the writers allude to something going on between Finn and Rey, but not really, and maybe between Poe and Rey, but not really. Seriously, each set of characters completely fails to demonstrate any relationship continuity with anyone else and left me wondering who the hell all these people are supposed to be. Again, as a trilogy, this thing fails from start to finish.

2) Almost the entire running length of TROS was spent undoing the damage caused by The Last Jedi. TLJ was so bad that it ranks not only at the bottom of my Star Wars movie list, but near the bottom of my Worst Movies Ever Made list. So many mistakes were made that TROS loses any ability to genuinely add to the Skywalker saga because it's too busy tripping over Rian Johnson's horrible story.

3) Rose and Finn. Ah, the Star Wars romance that spawned more than any sub-plot in any movie, like, ever! Seriously, who are these two idiots? They meet awkwardly while Finn is still cowarding, then go on some random mission clearly intended to drive political agendas, and then that kissy moment that leads to the near destruction of the rebellion. Zero chemistry! I mean, none! This is such bad writing, bad acting, bad everything. So, how to fix it in TROS? I know! Ignore it. Let's just pretend like it never happened. I mean, we'll have Rose awkwardly stalking Finn, and Finn acting like a boneheaded man trying to escape a failed love interest. Rose be like, "Heyyyyyy, Fiiiiiiinn!" and Finn be like, "Oh, man, it's that crazy chick I slept with while I was drunk. How to get away from her. Oh, I know. Hi, uh, Rosé, uh, yeah, got to go fight the bad guys now. Don't wait for me, probably gonna die fighting next to this hotter-than-you chick the writers shoved into the story to give me an out. So, yeah. Luck!" Um, no!

4) Rey is a Palpatine Skywalker! Wait, what? I get it. She doesn't want to go around the universe being a Palpatine, so she "identifies" as a Skywalker? Rey is not a Skywalker, and no future movie in which Rey "identifies" as a Skywalker is going to convince me that she is. This scene was beautiful and harkened back to Luke, and it was very moving. But she is no Skywalker, and never will be! Skywalker is not a profession like "Jedi", it is a family name.

5) Force healing works in The Mandalorian because we are dealing with a new character—young, child-like, exploring his little force skill things. It works that Force McFrog has this ability because the story builds into it. In TROS it is just there, and suddenly everyone knows how to do it. I don't think it takes away from the story as a standalone movie, but as part of a trilogy and a saga spanning 9 films, it just doesn't work. And, yeah, I agree with Scates. Somewhere down the road we can just resurrect anyone we want, and that removes the drama of fear.

6) Chewie died! I had that in my head and was wondering how he could live through it. I was still collecting a tear or two when he is shown alive in the next scene, and the whole setup fell on its face. it was poorly done, and could have actually lead to a much better lesson: be careful of your power lest you destroy someone you love! That was completely lost, and suddenly I no longer felt bad for Rey.

7) Those Star Destroyers all lined up in a perfect little grid. Give me a break, already! Maybe they could have been a little more creative and had an actual shipyard or something. But being built beneath the ice just … . That part did not work for me in the previews, and it worked even less in the movie. Just too neat and tidy. In the original trilogy and even the prequels, star destroyers were kind of all over the place. It looked deliberate and menacing. These things looked like they were organized by Captain Anal!

8) Suddenly Palpatine can force lightning an entire armada? Nope. Too cute and cuddly. It's like the writers needed a "Han will have that shield down" moment. It would have been far better if the Star Destroyers had started targeting the capital ships with their big lasers. That would have been way more believable.

9) Through this entire trilogy, Luke Skywalker was just a used up, bitter old man. Mark Hammil must be rolling around screaming at the waste of such an iconic character. Trouble is, Luke was set up for a big reveal at the end of Episode VII, then he was just a cranky, bitter, sour … it's a long list of negatives. And that's a key takeaway from this trilogy. Luke Skywalker is the real tragedy of the sequels. A man who nearly gave his life fighting for the rebellion and the Jedi way was suddenly transformed into a man so scared of his own shadow that he tried to murder a student and then hid away on a little island like some worn out hermit. Then, as TROS tries to get it's feet beneath itself, it's too late to do anything because Luke is already dead and has nothing to do but smile at the stupidity of the entire trilogy's lost opportunity.

10) Suddenly, out of nowhere and with no context to support it, Leia is a Jedi master. The only reason for the existence of this story line is to send Carrie Fisher out in a blaze of glory. Oh, how this whole thing would have been better had LucasFilm chosen to tell us a bit of that story in Episode VII. Oh well. At least we got to see her force powers: Force Mary-Poppins-can-survive-in-deep-space, and Force Distract-your-son-so-Rey-can-kill-him. *sigh*



I really enjoyed TROS, but I hated the trilogy. It fails to work in any meaningful way, none of the characters ever come together as a family, we never get to see the original cast together doing what they do, and politics/social causes distracted too heavily from what otherwise had the opportunity to finish a truly great story with a truly great conclusion. This mess gets to live down there with the prequels as a string of poorly considered trash that cannot and will not stand the test of time. When people say "Star Wars" a hundred years from now, it will be to the ring of Episode IV, which set the stage for all others to come, and still cannot be trumped when all aspects are considered. I'll be able to watch VII and IX apart, will struggle to ever let VIII play on my TV, and cannot fathom watching all three together. Too confusing, jumbled, and snobbed up with crap to work like that.

P.S. If it were up to me, I would change that t-shirt to read "The Force is FUBAR"

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Last edited by kscherer : 2020-01-07 at 17:59.
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