Quote:
Originally Posted by murbot
I have a guy like that who comes into my office. I made a point of trying to out-stare him the last time he was in here. It honestly went over 3 minutes, which is a fucking eternity when you're staring into the soul of a creepy freak. It was almost impossible to keep going after a minute or so. We didn't break eye contact until after he said goodbye and he had to turn his head to walk away. I wonder if he realizes what he's even doing, or if he's just got a few screws loose.
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I have the exact opposite problem. I'm not very good at making eye contact with people. It's something I have to think about, and make a conscious effort to do, but I'm also always worried that I'll end up overdoing it and stare creepily, so whenever I'm interacting with someone — ordering coffee, say — there's always this sort of taxing thought process going on in the back of my head. "Look them in the eye. Look them in the eye, you stupid fucker. Okay, you did it! Okay, don't overshoot, now. Stop looking. OK. Smile. Now just say your order.
Don't tell me you — goddammit, guys, he forgot the order. Get the memory department on the phone...reflexes, make sure his mouth isn't agape or anything."
The problem with not looking people in the eye is that then you have to look somewhere
else. The problem with this is that my Default Stare Into Space direction is straight ahead and slightly down, which happens to precisely match the location of breasts on any women I happen to be interacting with. I don't really notice boobs, even when I'm staring in their direction I'm just sort of staring into space and then it's just a realization like, shit, this lady probably thinks I'm staring at her boobs. I'm sure that some barista somewhere thinks I'm a perv who didn't even attempt to hide his shameless boob-gazing.
But I don't do that, any more! Now I make sure to awkwardly stare way off to the side, like at the menu or something, so I'm not looking at the person I'm interacting with at all, with occasional bursts of eye contact when I remember and/or can handle it. I'm not very good at this whole "life" thing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by murbot
(yes, I actually completely stuck bacon into the chocolate fountain at a brunch on the weekend - it was DELICIOUS)
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The first company to market chocolate-covered bacon will make zillions of dollars, and then
kill America.