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psmith2.0
Mr. Vieira
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Tennessee
 
2019-11-27, 18:09

“Hello, J.J. Got a minute?”

“It depen...okay, yeah. What’s up, Kathy?”

“The Falcon.”

“Yes, what about it?”

“What kind of mileage are we talking?”

“Is this Hamill? Dude, quit screwing around, I’m busy!”

“No, this is your boss, Kathleen Kennedy. Pay attention. The Millennium Falcon, it’s kinda like a big SUV, isn’t it? A space Hummer, if you will?”

“Kathy, the only space hummer I'd be interes…never mind.”

“J.J., we need to do something to assure the audience that this ship they’ve loved since 1977 isn’t an enemy to the environment. That’s important!”

“This story is set a long time ago in a far away galaxy. I don't think they use conventional fuel or energy as we know it. Those things probably aren't a concern. They haven’t been in eight previous movies. Honestly, you’re the first, and only, person to bring this up.”

“That’s why I’m lauded as a visionary, J.J. If I don’t ask these important questions, who will?”

“I don…I just…okay, How would we even go about it? I don’t think anyone is watching Star Wars and thinking about such things. I really don’t.”

“Well, we’re about to change that. I’ve been on the phone with Toyota all afternoon. They’ve offered us use of the Prius logo that we can place in various strategic locations around the Falcon. They only want $165 million, which I think is extremely fair and reasonable, considering…”.

“Kathy, is that not the opposite of how it usually works? Wouldn’t they pay us for the product placem...I can’t believe I’m even having this discussion.”

“I negotiate like I screw, J.J…backwards and upside down, and coming from the wrong side of the kitchen table.”

“I don’t even know what that means, Kathy.”

“You don’t have to, Bad Robot. Let’s say I’ve just made a deal that will keep the hippies off our backs forever! Hahaha…see what I did there? Remember Cloud City when Lando told Ha...”

“Are we really going to do this, Kathy?”

“J.J., nothing less than the future of our planet as we know it is at stake. Yes, we’re going to do it. Of course, that means we’ll have to come up with a new sound for the Falcon. But I’ve got Ben Burtt out at at the apiary recording angry bees. He says if he combines that with a digitally sped-up lion fart, he thinks he can get something really interesting and 'game-changing'. We’re all in this together, J.J. There will be no one to stop us this time! Oh, and when we hang up I need you to bring me a coffee.”
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