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BuonRotto
Not sayin', just sayin'
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Durham, NC
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2007-08-22, 11:43

Oh God, whatever comes, comes. Don't ever put a schedule on yourself with your relationships. You'll *know* when it's right. No one, not your parents, not your friends, are any indication of what's right for you.

I think this is just one reason why so many people get divorced. they marry whomever they're with at the time they decide it's "time" to get married. But it's not with the right person.

Moogs is right, your teens and early 20s are times of great change and development. Who you are at 17 is not who you are at 18! The progress of change slows and your comfort with your identity increases as you age. It's understandable if you don't have the same feelings for someone you did a year ago at that time. You're both changing. You always have to be able to grow and adapt with the person you love, because it never stops. You don't stop changing on your wedding day.

Oh, and four years in a relationship isn't wasted. It's wasted if all you wanted out of it was a ring and lots f pomp and ceremony. If you enjoyed one another most of that time, if you both grew and the relationship taught you anything, it's not wasted. Another problem with many marriages and people in general is they think that you're living your life to reach point X, where all the stars are aligned and all your ducks are lined up. But then what? Is the point of living to stop living? The point of living is to experience living. You'll frustrate yourself trying to make this one instant happen, and then maybe you reach it. Then the instant is gone and now what's there to live for?

All of this living serves a purpose that isn't to arrive at point X, but to continue exploring paths and gain the wisdom to pass along a little of it and maybe affect the path others are traveling for the better. It never stops, not in a relationship, not out of one, not with one person and not another.

I don't believe that everything happens for a reason, but having a balance between (outside) circumstance and (self) motivation is what makes life rich!
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