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psmith2.0
Mr. Vieira
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Tennessee
 
2019-12-15, 21:54

This movie has its official premiere tomorrow in front of the industry crowd, etc. in L.A. tomorrow (Monday, December 16).

Since leaks/spoilers could emerge from this in the next 24-48 hours, the following is going to be my final post in this thread until after December 20 (as it stands now, I'll probably wind up seeing this next Monday or Tuesday (December 23 or 24), we'll see. If I get dragged to any earlier, I'll return sooner (maybe, if my eyes haven't rolled completely out of my head).

As I've said earlier, a few weeks ago, I have stayed spoiler-free (no rumor/leak sites, no watching neckbeard YouTube stuff regarding "leaks", etc.). All I've seen/heard are officially-released teasers, trailers and these recent 15-second TV/web spots. That's it.

So, with only those things to go by (along with the events of the other movies, pre- and post- 2015 and just my overall opinion of how these things will likely go), I'm laying out my official predictions below, for the record. We'll see in about another 7-10 days how right, or horrifyingly wrong, I was on it all. I honestly think I'll score a solid 50-75%, but we'll see...

In no particular order, just as I think of things, big picture...

- Gonna be as much of a "soft remake" of Return of the Jedi as The Force Awakens was of the 1977 original...idiotically so, at times (the height of laziness and fan-service chain yanking; it's J.J. Abrams...so let's not delude ourselves into believing otherwise)

- Lando winds up regaining ownership of the Falcon by the end of the movie (Chewie? See below)

- There will be at least one Ewok scene (Wicket/Warwick Davis)...remember, this is ROTJ take 2

- Force lightning, lots of it, including some from an unexpected source (Rey)

- Threepio's red eyes have to do with programming/reset/alternate "protocol" mode (not somehow becoming an evil "Sith droid"); that's a classic trailer fake-out to make it look more ominous and WTF?! than it really is

- Leia dies (Han, Luke and so why not?) Makes production easier, the earlier she goes...not being cruel, just realistic/practical; CGI only gets you so far and nobody wants to be staring at Carrie's uncanny valley for two-plus hours...

- A who's who of saga-wide Force ghosts will surely appear at some point (Yoda, Obi-Wan, Anakin, Qui-Gon, Luke, possibly Leia if she winds up dying), either as a big group or individually throughout, as Rey needs inspiration or enlightenment; I'm thinking Luke may appear more than a few times, visually or voice, since that's her true link/connection to all this stuff and he'll need to be there to guide her

- Chewie hangs it up and "retires" back to his planet/family by the end...he's put in all these years of fighting/sacrifice, he's done being someone's sidekick/wingman; this will be the only genuine tear-jerker in the movie for many (I'm almost crying just thinking about it).

- Rey is a Skywalker, and why it took them three movies to confirm this is beyond me; surely she's Han and Leia's daughter (which means I hope she and Kylo don't accidentally get it on at some point because that isn't going to fly twice; we overlooked all that business in 1983, don't ask us to do it again).

- Kylo dies; he's beyond redemption and, despite J.J.'s presence, I'd like to think they're not going to go the ROTJ "redemption" moment route, again; he's killed too many good people to come back from that. While he may have a small "hero" moment/death in him, even if it's just tossing a saber or something along those lines, I just can't picture him "turning good" after everything; I think "Ben Solo" is long gone, which may bear on Leia's fate/role in some way...

- Palpatine isn't in true body form; it'll be some sort of weird glowing spirit/clone/ghost mumbo-jumbo (the reason we've yet to see him in any trailers or marketing material)

- Related to that, the little Baby Green Frog from the Mandalorian winds up being part of the reason for his return...extracted Force-healing/ghosting mojo decades prior leads scientists or Sith devotees to conjure up some Palpatine + Frankenstein abomination

- Finn lives, Poe lives. And no, they don't make out or declare their love for one another

- Rose lives, nobody gives a shit

- At least two fake-out/rug-pull "deaths" (Poe, Chewie, etc.).

- Hux dies, as do all the First Order bigwigs; but before that, Hux will have some weird twist/angle to it because it's been pretty useless and played a bit too broadly all this time, leading me to believe that there has to be something more (he's the offspring of someone famous, or he'll reveal something really big; he just seems to have been wasted for two movies, but his rank/position puts him in a position, as a foil/adversary to Kylo, to throw a wrench into things in some way. I don't think he's a traitor or anything along those lines, but I don't fully buy him as a all-out, true evil villain either (I just don't think he's 100% on board with the Kylo/Snoke/First Order stuff); I started thinking this in The Last Jedi, from a couple of things he said/did, and the look on his face in a few scenes; he may prove to be one of the more interesting parts to all this, just from how utterly underused he's been so far; they've saved it for something, I truly believe

- If all these ships are returning, lined up behind the Falcon in the trailer, then we're going to see some familiar ones, from all eras of the saga...some more obscure than others, some big crowd pleasers (Slave 1, etc.). The occupants of a few of them may make for a genuine "holy crap!" moment; a familiar face/character or two putting in a final appearance

- Han Solo/Harrison Ford appears (yes, it's the stupidest thing ever, but, again, it's J.J...I put nothing past him and his fan-service desires; whether it's a dream sequence, flashback or "vision", he'll appear; I'd like to think he wouldn't be a glowing blue Force ghost (for dozens of reasons), but, again, you never can tell with this bunch. And as one final J.J.-ism, his appearance/presence won't be explained in any reasonable way...it'll just "happen", Just Becauseā„¢; we'll just have to figure it out, fill in the blanks, fan-theory it to death, etc.

- Anakin most certainly has to appear, either with the other Force ghosts or in some sort of final acknowledgement/torch pass to Rey (the start of the saga, the end of the saga). Sebastian Shaw is long dead, and the pedo-leering Anakin is apparently canon now, so look for Hayden Christensen...robed, glowing, blue and still unable to act

- BB8 remains with Rey, as Artoo did with Luke all those years; that's her droid/sidekick now

- Lando will be used mostly as comic relief, and they'll play up the "smooth hustler"/ladies man aspect (there will be some cringe-y reference to that whole droid-banging thing, unfortunately). He lives, BTW

- Tatooine, twin suns (likely the very final scene, with someone - or several someones - staring into the sunset before iris-out)...I'm guessing Rey and BB8, with or without some blue-glowing company...



Okay, I believe that does it. I'll return to this thread in another 7-10 days...I'm just afraid to visit this thread starting tomorrow, in case someone hears/sees something from the premiere tomorrow and forgets to put it in a spoiler tag. I do want to go into this final movie truly unspoiled/clean!
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