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Someone just shit their pants in my office.
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kscherer
The Ban Hammer
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Boyzeee
 
2005-09-23, 13:49

Quote:
Originally Posted by 709
I understand.

Your word choice just struck as a bit, um...odd .
OOOOOOOOPS!!
  quote
709
¡Damned!
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Purgatory
 
2005-09-23, 13:52

Your secret is safe with me.
  quote
InactionMan
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2005-09-23, 14:18



You've both greatly improved my Friday.
  quote
atomicbartbeans
reticulating your mom
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Send a message via AIM to atomicbartbeans  
2005-09-23, 14:23

Me too. Note to self: never refer to farting as "queefing".
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octavist13
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: IL
 
2005-09-23, 14:27

Hahaha. Man-queef.
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kscherer
The Ban Hammer
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Boyzeee
 
2005-09-23, 15:05

Well, I think it's safe to say that I'll have to abandon AN and move over to AI. I do believe I have forever damaged myself here.

Just remember, a queef in hand is better than two in the mouth!

Boise State! … Boise State! … Boise State!
  quote
FFL
Fishhead Family Reunited
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Slightly Off Center
 
2005-09-23, 15:27

nice job of putting your foot in your mouth
... or something like that ...
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murbot
Mammogram Tech
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Canada
 
2005-09-23, 15:34

Quote:
Originally Posted by kscherer
Well, I think it's safe to say that I'll have to abandon AN and move over to AI. I do believe I have forever damaged myself here.

Just remember, a queef in hand is better than two in the mouth!
Dude, if you get queefed in the mouth, you're doing something wrong.

Actually, you'd have to be doing some crazy stuff to get it in the hand too.

  quote
Maciej
M AH - ch ain saw
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2005-09-23, 15:56

I don't quite understand the mechanics of that even happening... mind boggling one might say.
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murbot
Mammogram Tech
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Canada
 
2005-09-23, 16:11

That's ok, some guys never have it happen. It has to be a really tight fit for it to work.

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Kickaha
Likes his boobies blue.
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Hell
 
2005-09-23, 16:15



And just to get this back on... um... topic?

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Amadeus
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Massachusetts
 
2005-09-23, 16:35

Quote:
Originally Posted by murbot
That's ok, some guys never have it happen. It has to be a really tight fit for it to work.

Well I learned something new today, thank you.
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holbox
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Florida
 
2005-09-23, 16:54

The trouble with all you guys is that you have no medical training .....

That poor girl has a case of "Letruripitious". She has no control over this rare but serious disease. She has learned to cope with it by ignoring it.

George Washington actually split his britches at Trenton because of Letruripitious and Julius Caesar fired one off that was heard clear to Rome when he crossed the Rubicon.

As you now know this disease has no sexual boundaries. But you may not know the Hilary Clinton was going thru a bout of it when the Monica drama was being played out. You'll note that Bill never mentioned it once.

Now ...... that's the mark of a real man.

Follow his example!

  quote
curiousuburb
Antimatter Man
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: that interweb thing
 
2005-09-23, 17:24

Quote:
Originally Posted by murbot
Dude, if you get queefed in the mouth, you're doing something wrong.

Actually, you'd have to be doing some crazy stuff to get it in the hand too.

or you have huuuuuge tongue and/or hands.

Still... I think kscherer deserves the honorary member title of queefster for a few days.

As for the queefing reflex in its voluntary rather than involuntary form, there are some women who have mastered the kegelian pneumatic expulsion to the point where they can propel ping pong projectiles into beer mugs from 20 feet. Seems to me at least one of these famous ladies was from Calgary or S. Alberta, so I'd have thought you might know of her, murbot.

Last edited by curiousuburb : 2005-09-23 at 17:28.
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Kickaha
Likes his boobies blue.
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Hell
 
2005-09-23, 18:12

Maybe she trained at the same place as the performer I saw...

Sliced a banana into pieces, she did.
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kscherer
The Ban Hammer
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Boyzeee
 
2005-09-23, 18:41

Quote:
Originally Posted by curiousuburb
Still... I think kscherer deserves the honorary member title of queefster for a few days.
And for that you can consider yourself on my bad side for at least a week! I poop on your family tree, Mr. Wiseacre!

Yours truly,

Queefster

:smokey:

P.S. Is that what it takes to get my member title changed? At least I'm not "Registered User" anymore. Makes me feel like a crack addict!

Boise State! … Boise State! … Boise State!

Last edited by kscherer : 2005-09-23 at 18:44. Reason: 'cause you guys suck!
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Amadeus
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Massachusetts
 
2005-09-24, 15:47

Quote:
Originally Posted by curiousuburb
or you have huuuuuge tongue and/or hands.

Still... I think kscherer deserves the honorary member title of queefster for a few days.

As for the queefing reflex in its voluntary rather than involuntary form, there are some women who have mastered the kegelian pneumatic expulsion to the point where they can propel ping pong projectiles into beer mugs from 20 feet. Seems to me at least one of these famous ladies was from Calgary or S. Alberta, so I'd have thought you might know of her, murbot.
That would certain be a very interesting thing to watch being demonstrated. Quite an art form.
  quote
Dave
Ninja Editor
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Bay Area, CA
 
2005-09-24, 15:52

Quote:
Originally Posted by Amadeus
That would certain be a very interesting thing to watch being demonstrated. Quite an art form.
I'm not sure that "art" is the word I'd use.
  quote
curiousuburb
Antimatter Man
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: that interweb thing
 
2005-09-24, 18:56

For some reason, I'm thinking her name was Mitzi... and she was "banned" in several towns for her "skill".

Google seems to agree

Last edited by curiousuburb : 2005-09-24 at 18:59.
  quote
Amadeus
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Massachusetts
 
2005-09-25, 16:54

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave
I'm not sure that "art" is the word I'd use.
What word would you use?
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Chinney
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Ottawa, ON
 
2005-09-26, 23:11

Some Farts Are More Dangerous Than Others.
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Paul
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: New York City
 
2006-02-19, 12:08

relatively old, but fitting... maddox rules
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Freewell
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
 
2007-09-01, 19:14

*bump*


OK, I was desperately in need of a laugh today, and this thread was so stinking hilarious, it beckoned to be bumped!

Now, I would *never* testify/admit (whatever!) as to the cause of this strange phenomenon, but I did notice that one of our daughters first (and most favorite!) words was "toot!"

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thegeriatric
geri to my friends
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Heaven
 
2007-09-01, 19:35

Well i don't know why, but as i started to read this thread, I farted and it stinks. So I'm leaving now, don't want to do another one. *Phew*

I used to be undecided.....But now I'm not so sure.
No trees were harmed in the sending of this message. However, a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.
  quote
Freewell
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
 
2007-09-01, 19:46

Things like that happen with age, I've heard.
  quote
thegeriatric
geri to my friends
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Heaven
 
2007-09-01, 19:52

Probably true. But at least i didn't follow through!

And yes I've checked.
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Freewell
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
 
2007-09-01, 21:16

It's OK, geri...

I was told of a certain shifting of the wind that occurred one day as my father was passing a lady, entering the bank... It allegedly registered on the Richter scale! But was he embarrassed??? Heaven's no!! He just got a big grin on his face, looked right at the astonished lady and declared: "It's your LUCKY DAY!!!!"
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709
¡Damned!
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Purgatory
 
2019-11-20, 17:43

Shit-posting? Seems apropos.
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kscherer
The Ban Hammer
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Boyzeee
 
2019-11-20, 18:05

Oh, that is just hilarious! Good job finding this mess. I got my ass schooled on the meaning of certain "words" that, um, yeah.
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murbot
Mammogram Tech
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Canada
 
2019-11-20, 20:34

classic
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