[psmith2.0]

Not being a pre-holiday downer, but I got a call from my Mom last night as I was eating dinner, she was in her car, following the ambulance to the hospital, where my stepfather, Roger, was being taken. She was in tears and quite frantic. He'd suffered a heart attack in their living room last night, out of the blue. She was in the kitchen and he yelled from the living room and she walked in to find him on the couch, clutching a pillow and yelling "I need help...call an ambulance!".

I hopped up, got over to the hospital and learned that his heart stopped twice in the ambulance and that it was a very serious situation. They'd shocked him a whole bunch of times. Family begain arriving within the hour, and within two hours of him being admitted, he seemed to be a bit more stable, with breathing, blood pressure, heartbeat, etc. all functioning a more more normally and with not as much assistance.

They found a complete blockage and placed a stint and that is all cleared and no other blockages found, and last night, around 11:15, the doctor told us that he "wasn't quite out of the woods - he's going to be critical for at least 24 hours, maybe 48 - but that I have every reason to be optimistic...he's responding well to everything we're doing, and everything we've done has worked as it should".



So weird. My grandmother - my Mom's mom - died in April, and with this happening last night, all I could think of was my Mom (Roger was in the hands of the best cardiac team in the city...this particular hospital is regionally famous for its heart center, so I realized he was in good hands). But my poor Mom. If she lost him last night, I don't know what she would've done. That thought certainly crossed my mind, even though I didn't want it to.

But as of this morning, things seem to be much better for Roger. He gave up smoking over a decade ago (which I thought was great), and he's actually lost about 20 pounds (he's not even overweight...just a standard 52-year-old slight belly pooch, which is now all but gone, with his recent diet). So in those aspects, he's got a good shot, I believe. In other words, he's not a 300-pound, two-pack-a-day smoker or anything like that, thank goodness.

They've been married 16 years, and I liked the guy from the moment I met him, when I was a senior in high school. A nicer, more decent guy, you'll never meet. And the fact that he helped my Mom find her smile again gives him permanent "he's an A1 keeper" status in my book.



Those of you so inclined and who believe, toss an extra prayer or two his way, won't you? Others, maybe just a good thought or two? You just feel kinda stupid and helpless at times like this, totally hostage to the words and facial expressions of the doctor and staff, and going long periods with no information, etc. And every bit of increased activity you see or hear, you think "uh oh...why are they all rushing down the hall suddenly?"



Terrible irony: every year, for over two decades, we have Thanksgiving at Mom's house, with her and Roger cooking great stuff, and all the relatives, neighbors and friends stopping by to bring their specialties. This will be the first Thanksgiving that we won't be doing that. Pretty much everyone who would be there tomorrow was at the hospital last night.

But we all agreed that when Roger pulls through and is out and doing well, we'll just all get together and have a delayed, special Thanksgiving (in the truest sense of the word, huh?) dinner/celebration in December or whenever.

This morning, I've got every reason to be optimistic.

Life can certainly turn on a dime, can't it? Makes a fella stop and think about stuff...

[Koodari]

It's a good thing to be alive. It's a good thing he is.

A lot of us can learn from incidents like this. The overwhelming majority of heart problems are preventable. If you are an average person healthwise, even small amount of additional exercise, small improvements in diet, smoking less, getting more regular sleep, however little you do, it can tremendously drop your chances of heart failure and do other things besides that. These things are all the more easy and effective the earlier you do them. It's harder to move out of the risk zone once you are there. My mother, for instance, is trying but with little success. Her side of the family has tendencies for overweight, high blood pressure, heart problems. Her father, my grandfather, died of a heart attack at 56 so I never knew him.

Is there anything recent at all that could have placed Roger at higher risk? Was his recent diet that you mention very drastic?

[DMBand0026]

Sorry to hear about that Paul, but he's very lucky indeed. Once someone has arrested like that (also known as ventricular fibrillation) and they stop breathing and must be shocked to be brought back, their chances of actually being brought back are very slim.

The fact that he was brought back by those shocks is a good sign, and I really hope he does well. He'll probably have to undergo a major lifestyle change, but he's alive, and that's what matters.

I wish you and your family the best of luck, and you'll be in my prayers. I hope your holidays are still great, because you've got a lot to be thankful for.

By the way, have you hugged a paramedic today?

Best of luck, and God bless

[kscherer]

Keep the faith, Paul. We're all with you on this.

[Kickaha]

Damn man, sorry to hear it.

I just found out last night that my Dad went to the hospital (not nearly so dramatically) a week ago for severe chest pains. They think he had a mild heart attack. Again. So glad someone called me. :P

Chin up, and good vibes your way.

[psmith2.0]

Roger died this morning, at 9:46.

Gonna be gone for a while, guys. My Mom needs me.

[709]

Wow. I'm really, really sorry to hear that Paul. I'll keep you and yours in my thoughts. Give your Mom a hug for us...and know that we're all hugging you.

[Chinney]

Just saw this thread.. So sorry to hear about this. Take care of your family, and yourself.

[curiousuburb]

Originally Posted by pscates2.0 Roger died this morning, at 9:46. Gonna be gone for a while, guys. My Mom needs me.

Condolences, Paul.

Hugs all round.

[murbot]

Oh man, that's terrible news. So sorry to hear that.

You've definitely got some good thoughts radiating down from Canada.

Go be a rock for your mom, she's going to need it.

[kscherer]

Our prayers are with you, my friend. Please know that we will miss you while you're gone and look forward to your return. For now, your place is with your family.

Take care,

Ken

[Barto]

I'm very sorry to hear that you've lost a loved one Paul.

[drewprops]

Paul, I'm so sorry for your loss - Roger was obviously a very important person in your lives. I'll pray for your family, your Mother and for Roger.

[Mac+]

Paul - I'm so sorry to hear this. I only noticed this thread this morning and thought I'd offer a prayer - thinking to myself that all seemed on the up and up, but then I scrolled down only to find your last message.

I'm very sorry for your loss and my prayers and thoughts are with you and your family.

[billybobsky]

I am sorry, Paul...

[Kickaha]

Damn man, sorry to hear it. Go do what you need to do, and we'll keep a seat here warm for you.

[Windswept]

My dear Paul, I'm shocked, and so very, very sorry for your loss.

I wish I could at least give you the small comfort of a really long hug.

Much love,

Carol

[alcimedes]

sorry for your loss Paul.

[ast3r3x]

Sorry Paul.

Isn't much else to say, I hope you are ok.

When you get back, I'd be interested in what happened. When you left off your first post, it sounded like he was doing well.

[kretara]

Just saw the thread as I just got back from the hospital where my Grandfather is recovering from pneumonia and CHF.
I'm very sorry to hear about your Stepfather.
I lost my Stepfather in much the same way 3 days after Christmas 5 years ago. I know what you are going through and my thoughts are with you.

[scratt]

Thoughts are with you dude.
Look after your Mum....
All the best, scratt.

[Moogs]

Originally Posted by kscherer Keep the faith, Paul. We're all with you on this.

Definitely. Whatever healing power I might impart through positive thoughts / informal "nudges" to the big man upstaits, you got it. Hope things take a turn for the best (today).

I will say also, I enjoyed your description of this fellow. Usually stories about step-parents are colored by bad feelings about the first marriage or people being more hung up on how *they* like the person vs how their parent does / whether it makes them smile as you say.

You're a good egg, Paul... I don't care what they say about you.

[usurp]

i am soo sorry paul.

[FFL]

Very sorry to hear the sad news, Paul.

My family has been through a few holidays immediately following a death, and it's very strange. The most important thing is you will be there for your mom.

[MCQ]

Paul,
Very sorry to hear this. I'll keep your family in my prayers.

[rampancy]

Sorry to hear about your loss, Paul

You've definitely got my prayers.

[psmith2.0]

Hey guys, real quick (just got home a little while ago)...I just wanted to say thank you for all the genuine, touching comments here from you guys. It's really meant a lot. The next few days are going to be quite busy and, frankly, kinda tough - mostly for Mom - but I didn't want to let too many days pass without stopping in to tell you guys thanks for the thoughts. I just read them, and they made me smile and feel better. Mom is hanging in there so much better than I would've imagined. We've got a large, strong and loving family - uncles, aunts, cousins, etc., who were all present today, in addition to the friends, co-workers and neighbors who showed up.

Anyway, before I crash out to bed, I just wanted to thank you all once again for the comments and words. I was genuinely touched, and totally teared up, just scrolling through and reading each and every one. And I wanted to give a quick update on things to let you know that everything is being handled and people have really pulled together and we're going to be all okay.

Arrangements are being made tomorrow, visitation is all weekend and the funeral/burial is Monday, so I doubt I'm going to get a chance to get back within the next several days. But I had a few moments this evening, and when I read all the comments above, I just couldn't go to bed without expressing my gratitude at everyone's thoughtfulness. I appreciate it more than you could ever know.

[Brad]

Oh, man. Sorry to be chiming in here late. That's such terrible news, especially during the holidays. I'm glad you seem to be holding out strong for your family. I can't begin to imagine all the flood of stress and emotions and tears going on there.

Take care, Scatesey. We love ya' man. We're all thinking of you and wishing for the best.

[Gargoyle]

Sorry to hear about this, Scates. Condolences to you and your family & friends. I’m not a religious man so I’ll just wish you all the best and offer up a big old *cyber hug*.

--,--‘--<@

[SKMDC]

sorry for your loss, words probably aren't enough but it's all we have.
it's tough anytime of year but this time of year will make it harder.
hope your family comes together for everyone.....enshalla.