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Adult Star Wars books
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Mac+
9" monochrome
 
Join Date: May 2004
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2006-04-05, 11:03

I know this is late, but since I didn't see any mention of it, I thought I'd post it to offer any Star Wars fans out there a brief chance about fantasizing in a more *ahem* adult manner.

http://www.locusmag.com/2006/Feature...Star_Wars.html

Quote:
Saturday 1 April 2006
Lucasfilm announces "Adult" Star Wars Novel Line

Today Lucasfilm announced the licensing of a new line of "Adult" Star Wars novels.

"While the movies were still an ongoing project, it was important to portray all aspects of the Star Wars universe as wholesome family entertainment," said Lucasfilm spokesmen Dirk Merdespieler. "However, now that the cycle of films is done, we can finally broaden the Star Wars franchise into marketing niches we'd heretofore avoided, and adult entertainment is at the top of our list."

One of the first new licenses was awarded to longtime Star Wars novel publisher Del Rey Books, who will be putting out a line of Star Wars adult novels. Del Rey announced that the first book in the line would be Slave Girl of Tattoine by Barry Malzberg and Mike Resnick.

"Yeah, Barry and I had an old porn novel called Arab Slave Harem we'd never managed to sell, and it was pretty easy to alter so it fit in the Star Wars universe," said Resnick when the two authors were reached for comment.

In the background, Malzberg could be heard laughing maniacally as he typed away at the updated manuscript.

"Instead of an Arab slave caravan, she gets captured by the Sand People and sold to Jabba the Hutt."

"Hahaha! Banthas!" exclaimed Malzberg.

"Anyway, after some 200 pages she gets rescued by a young Luke Skywalker. All in all, its probably the easiest $50,000 Barry and I ever made."

Del Rey's publicist indicated that they were willing to look beyond traditional adult themes, and were willing to pay top dollar for works to fill what were previously considered niche markets. As proof, she cited the hiring of Pulitzer Prize winner E. Annie Proulx to pen Brokeback Falcon, a novel which explores the forbidden love between Han Solo and Chewbacca.

"The Star Wars universe is almost 30 years old," said Merdespieler. "It's high time our fans learned there's more to life than comic books and action figures."
To validate this thread, why don't you throw your own Star Wars Adult title out there.

"Uta Buta Solo?" - A story of betrayal and revenge. Han's repeated promiscuity has enraged his lover Greedo for the last time.

All I want is a simple life
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psmith2.0
Mr. Vieira
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Tennessee
 
2006-04-05, 11:09

I'd start, but I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to stop.

Best to resist this particular urge...
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Luca
ಠ_ರೃ
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Minnesota
 
2006-04-05, 11:15

The funny thing is that there's already plenty of material like this out there. It's not as pervasive as Star Trek slash (particularly Kirk/Spock romances), but there are still plenty of horny middle aged women (hey Carol) who spend their free time writing dirty stories about Obi-Wan and young Anakin, or perhaps Han Solo and Luke Skywalker.
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709
¡Damned!
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Purgatory
 
2006-04-05, 11:18

Anything with Leia in Jabba's Court.

Anything.
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psmith2.0
Mr. Vieira
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Tennessee
 
2006-04-05, 11:31

Simply combine two of the most popular, talked-about things in the entire "Star Wars" saga: slave Leia (meow!) and Boba Fett.

How could it miss?

She's intrigued by this masked rough-and-tumble guy who's after her man, etc. Initially repulsed by his very presence, she finds herself drawn to him...his cold, sexy growl and ruthless efficiency with a weapon. They spend some quiet moments alone in Jabba's palace before the events of "Return of the Jedi" (Artoo and Threepio show up, etc.).

When she sees him fall into that Sarlaac pit, it's a weird moment for her.

"Guess that's over...".



She never tells Han. It was just "one of those things"...a crazy period during her life: half naked, in chains, lonely, her beau was hanging on the wall and completely useless, etc.



All the makings of a classic triangle: Leia > Han > Boba

Instant hit.
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Mac+
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Join Date: May 2004
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2006-04-05, 11:36

Of course, I've always found these to be chuckle worthy too ...

The Top Ten Sexually Suggestive Lines from the Star Wars trilogy

Star Wars

10. "Get in there you big furry oaf, I don't care what you smell!"
9. "Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?"
8. "Put that thing away before you get us all killed."
7. "You've got something jammed in here real good."
6. "Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?"
5. "You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought."
4. "Sorry about the mess..."
3. "Look at the size of that thing!"
2. "Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough!"
1. "She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid."

All I want is a simple life
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709
¡Damned!
 
Join Date: May 2004
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2006-04-05, 12:16

I know I've used one a few times after waking up in a strange bed:

"I've got a baaad feeling about this"
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psmith2.0
Mr. Vieira
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Tennessee
 
2006-04-05, 12:17

...and then the walls start to close in?
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709
¡Damned!
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Purgatory
 
2006-04-05, 12:21

No, usually the one-eyed snake comes out*.

And then I've got to paraphase yet another quote:

"The more you tighten your grip, the more it will slip through your fingers."




*Mine's not nearly this frightening, btw:




So it goes.

Last edited by 709 : 2006-04-05 at 12:31.
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Wyatt
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Join Date: Mar 2005
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2006-04-05, 12:45

Did you not notice the date on the article?
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curiousuburb
Antimatter Man
 
Join Date: May 2004
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2006-04-05, 12:53

"That's no moon..."

"Don't underestimate the power of the Dark Side"

"These aren't the droids you're looking for"

"Size matters not"

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Wrao
Yarp
 
Join Date: May 2004
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2006-04-05, 13:20

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mac+
1. "She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid."

I have a shirt that says this on the back.
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thegelding
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2006-04-05, 13:35

mmmm, i see the return of jar jar here....cuz you know by the size of his feet that he was quite a package...plus it's gonna upset the jessie helms set when he has leia bent over and making the "O" face

g

crazy is not a rare human condition

everything is food if you chew hard enough
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drewprops
Space Pirate
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Atlanta
 
2006-04-05, 17:36

You can close this thread now, THIS is the most sexually disturbing exchange of the entire series:

Darth Vader: I have felt him, my master.
Emperor Palpatine: Strange that I have not.


.

Steve Jobs ate my cat's watermelon.
Captain Drew on Twitter
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Wickers
is not a kind of basket
 
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2006-04-05, 18:06

"""I bent my wookie...""" </Ralph>
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Mac+
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2006-04-05, 20:43

Quote:
Originally Posted by fcgriz
Did you not notice the date on the article?
Of course I did.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mac+
I know this is late, but since I didn't see any mention of it, ... [snip] ...
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Mac+
9" monochrome
 
Join Date: May 2004
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2006-04-05, 20:45

And, I may as well add to my previous posting with ESB lines (ROTJ to follow)

The Empire Strikes Back

10. "I thought that hairy beast would be the end of me."
9. "Size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?"
8. "There's an awful lot of moisture in here."
7. "But now we must eat. Come, good food, come..."
6. "That's okay, I'd like to keep it on manual control for a while."
5. "Control, control! You must learn control!"
4. "Hurry up, golden-rod..."
3. "I must've hit it pretty close to the mark to get her all riled up like that, huh kid?"
2. "Possible he came in through the south entrance."
1. "And I thought they smelled bad on the outside!"

All I want is a simple life
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2006-04-05, 20:46

Return of the Jedi

10. "Hey, point that thing someplace else."
9. "I look forward to completing your training. In time you will call me master."
8. "I never knew I had it in me."
7. "There is good in him, I've felt it."
6. "Grab me, Chewie. I'm slipping -- hold on. Grab it, almost... you almost got it. Gently now, all right, easy, easy, hold me Chewie."
5. "Hey, Luke, thanks for coming after me -- now I owe you one."
4. "Back door, huh? Good idea!"
3. "She's gonna blow!"
2. "I think you'll fit in nicely."
1. "Rise, my friend."

All I want is a simple life
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Wickers
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Join Date: May 2004
 
2006-04-05, 21:09

... stop, you are ruining my childhood!
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