[Luca]

I'm not going to post a poll as there are too many brands for me to list. But I was staring at my toilet today and I started thinking about this (perhaps I was inspired by poodrops).

Myself, I am loyal to Quilted Northern. It's just paper-y enough without being rough. I actually really hate that super-soft stuff that Charmin and Kleenex make. It's so soft that it disintegrates, leaving little pieces of toilet paper behind (not to mention it tears really easily which is never good).

So what are you into? Soft "luxury" toilet paper? Scratchy, cheap 1-ply stuff? Something in between? That all-cotton stuff?

[veryamusing]

I use the least expensive toilet paper that I can find, usually Target's or Publix's store brand stuff.

You're spot on about the pillowy varieties leaving behind remnants. Yuck!

[drewprops]

I have to say that I've never identified the various qualities of toilet paper. I guess I'm a "Charmin Guy" as that's what my folks used. Perhaps I need to shop around to see if I like a different brand.... though I'm pretty sure that I'd like to have a bidet, if money was no object. What a great, non-abrasive way to get things cleaned up.

[turtle]

Whatever my wife buys from the market. Last time it had Aloe in it and I asked her not to get that kind again. I never feel clean after wiping with it...like I missed something wet and mushy down there.

[709]

Bidet. Tree haters.

[turbulentfurball]

Originally Posted by turtle2472 I never feel clean after wiping with it...like I missed something wet and mushy down there.

Thanks! Just what I wanted to read just after breakfast

I buy 100% recycled (although not from old toilet paper I'd hope).

[psmith2.0]

Angel Soft. Nice mix of soft but sturdy, etc. I don't like the real pillowy stuff either, but I certainly don't like the gas station bathroom 180-grit toilet paper either.

[Eugene]

Kirkland. My asshole does not need to be spoiled.

[PKIDelirium]

Cottonelle for years now. Quilted Northern before that.

I hate the rough crap that comes on the giant rolls in public stalls.

[PB PM]

Originally Posted by Eugene Kirkland. My asshole does not need to be spoiled.

In similar fashion I just get cheap no name brand toilet paper.

[ctt1wbw]

Originally Posted by pscates2.0 Angel Soft. Nice mix of soft but sturdy, etc. I don't like the real pillowy stuff either, but I certainly don't like the gas station bathroom 180-grit toilet paper either.

Another vote for Angel Soft. NEVER clogs the toilet. It would make Al Bundy very pleased.

[Capella]

I like anything with the double-thickness sheets, whatever you call that. My roommates are stupid and bought the really thin soft stuff, and it really does tear horribly. The double-thick ones are soft enough to not be as rough as, say, paper towels, but they're also a lot tougher and don't tear.

[iThink therefore iMac]

I'm a fan of Charmin...probably because I've always used it.

[hflomberg]

Corncobs?

[BuonRotto]

I bought some Charmin that was on sale a couple months ago. I don't know exactly what variety, but it was the thickest damn TP I've ever come across, thick as chipboard but very soft.

I usually buy brand X that doesn't suck (i.e., no Scott, no White Cloud) and is on sale.

[tomoe]

I usually get Scott tissue, they have a shit load of squares per roll, and it's usually cheap...and when you're hirsute like me, this is necessary...I'm reminded of the simile "it's like trying to scrape peanut butter off a shag rug".

[Moogs]

Luca: I dunno (think the wife buys northern but I'm not sure)...

The thing to remember is that the Merovingian claims that swearing in French is like wiping your ass with silk, so I recommend you give it a shot.

[Luca]

I think silk would be too slippery. Comfortable, sure, but it wouldn't really pick anything up.

That's my problem with most shitty (pun intended) 1-ply brands like Scott and anything you find in a public toilet. Most are too slippery to be effective. They just push shit around.

Cottonelle gives me dingleberries.

[Moogs]

+1 Rep point for Luca.

[Luca]

Man, posting about poop really racks in the rep.

Don't worry, you guys all get +rep too.

[turbulentfurball]

Originally Posted by BuonRotto I usually buy brand X that doesn't suck (i.e., no Scott, no White Cloud) and is on sale.

I'd buy toilet paper did actually suck. I imagine that would increase its efficiency by some magnitude.

[Brad]

Pfft. You guys can keep the one-ply sandpaper for your hairy asses. I'll take the Charmin Ultra, thankyouverymuch.

[Banana]

I think toilet paper should come with a "grams of shit per wipe" rating....

[thegeriatric]

Sandpaper, gets all the clingons off.

[zsummers]

When, when, dear lord, will we get those fancy Japanese toilets that were all the television news rage in the early 90's? It sprays your ass clean, then DRIES IT with hairdryer like things. Your crack-curlies are fluffed and groomed, your ass clean, warm and dry.... Heaven, I tells ya, heaven...

(Charmin for this fella, though really, whatever is on sale in the big packs).

The real question here is, Over or Under? Clearly over is the right answer, for ease of plucking and avoidance of over-pulling the roll. Those who hang it under... *sigh*... like my wife occasionally... well, you're just doin' it wrong.

[iThink therefore iMac]

Originally Posted by zsummers When, when, dear lord, will we get those fancy Japanese toilets that were all the television news rage in the early 90's? It sprays your ass clean, then DRIES IT with hairdryer like things. Your crack-curlies are fluffed and groomed, your ass clean, warm and dry.... Heaven, I tells ya, heaven...

I know an older man who has one of those fancy toilets...he calls it his "magical toilet" because it does everything automatically. You just need to be careful that you press the right button...otherwise something might happen that you're not prepare for!

[psmith2.0]

This I'd the bestest thread that has ever been in the whole wide worldification.

[tomoe]

Originally Posted by Banana I think toilet paper should come with a "grams of shit per wipe" rating....

This is an awesome idea! But then we have also have to consider the different friction coefficients for asses with different, shall we say, properties. Unless there is the model human ass that the measure could be based upon, analogous to the small-medium-large sizing used in the clothing industry.

[BuonRotto]

But whose shit will be the benchmark? Is this like the English unit "inch" supposedly being the length of the last knuckle of the king's thumb?

[alcimedes]

I think we should go back to wet wipes. Kids have it right. Dry paper just doesn't work as well.