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Messiahtosh
Apple Historian
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2006-07-25, 20:13

I was looking at a Cool Whip container and noticed a "South Beach Diet Recommended" seal on it. I immediately pictured a bunch of shit-stain businessmen in meeting after fart-drenched-seat meeting, coming up with some stupid fucking agreement about putting this on the Cool Whip container.

"It will boost sales 10%!"

FUCK YOU, I mean - who gives a fuck?

I bet it took millions of dollars to make that happen, i bet lives were lost over it, i bet marriages were ruined...sleepless nights...you know it's true. This is America: those are problems we have.

"We are reviewing some 9,000 recent UNHCR referrals from Syria. We are receiving roughly a thousand new ones each month, and we expect admissions from Syria to surge in 2015 and beyond." - Anne C. Richard, Assistant Secretary, Bureau of Population, Refugees, and Migration
  quote
Windowsrookie
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Minnesota
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2006-07-25, 20:15

Is this a joke?
  quote
709
¡Damned!
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Purgatory
 
2006-07-25, 20:16

Maybe instead of 'South Beach' they meant to put 'Shaved Pussy'.


Maybe.
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Messiahtosh
Apple Historian
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2006-07-25, 20:43

I'm just sick of shit like this. What is wrong with people? South Beach Diet Recommended? Jesus!

I can't even think of a beach with sand, blue skies, and waves anymore - just fat-asses.

"We are reviewing some 9,000 recent UNHCR referrals from Syria. We are receiving roughly a thousand new ones each month, and we expect admissions from Syria to surge in 2015 and beyond." - Anne C. Richard, Assistant Secretary, Bureau of Population, Refugees, and Migration
  quote
murbot
Hoonigan
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Canada
 
2006-07-25, 20:45

Yeah.
  quote
alcimedes
I shot the sherrif.
 
Join Date: May 2004
Send a message via ICQ to alcimedes  
2006-07-25, 20:49

You could just go to a different beach.
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blakbyrd
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Warrenville, SC
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2006-07-25, 20:51

O.o
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FFL
Fishhead Family Reunited
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Slightly Off Center
 
2006-07-25, 20:54

Quote:
Originally Posted by Messiahtosh
FUCK YOU, I mean - who gives a fuck?
I know exactly how you feel.

Not for exactly the same reason, though.
  quote
Banana
is the next Chiquita
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
 
2006-07-25, 20:58

Has Messiahtosh met Mr. Beer?
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Engine Joe
Going Strange...
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Brooklyn, NY
 
2006-07-25, 21:03

Who friggin' cares?

Don't use Cool Whip, anyway. Is it so much effort to use a whisk, some heavy cream, and a little sugar? Worried about your weight? Well DON'T HAVE IT EVERYDAY.

Stick whatever labels you want on anything. I don't give a shit.

Quote:
FUCK YOU, I mean - who gives a fuck?
Apparently you do. You're ranting about it.
  quote
Maciej
M AH - ch ain saw
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2006-07-25, 21:14

Quote:
Originally Posted by Messiahtosh
FUCK YOU, I mean - who gives a fuck?
People on the South Beach Diet, thats who? 0.o?
  quote
Banana
is the next Chiquita
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
 
2006-07-25, 21:24

Messiahtosh, Mr. Beer.


Mr. Beer, Messiahtosh.


Hmm, have fun, will you?
  quote
Windowsrookie
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Minnesota
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2006-07-25, 21:56

ooooo Neat Trick Banana. Status icons are fun. And now I know the URL muahahahahahahahaha!
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SKMDC
superkaratemonkeydeathcar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: chicago
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2006-07-25, 22:10

I was eatin' my Cool Whip™ on the beach the other day and some of the beach got in it, it was no longer cool.
So I just ate my stick of butter.

So no, I don't recommend Cool Whip™ for my South Beach friends.

"What's a Canadian farm boy to do?"
  quote
Windowsrookie
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Minnesota
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2006-07-25, 22:12

Was it real butter or vegetable oil butter?

LOL, this reminds me of when Kramer used butter as sun screen and cooked himself on the roof.



  quote
Messiahtosh
Apple Historian
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2006-07-25, 22:28

I'm drunk but I do not drink that heer. YUENGLING.
  quote
Engine Joe
Going Strange...
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Brooklyn, NY
 
2006-07-25, 22:32

I'm working on Duvel. Which is far superior (if you're an ale kind of person).
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Moogs
Hates the Infotainment
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: NSA Archives
 
2006-07-25, 22:43

South Beach.

I mean seriously WhoTF came up with that concept... South Beach Diet. Like people in South Beach are people we should emulate. South Beach is a hole, literally and figuratively.

This year's Atkins. All diet fads must fuck off and die. Eat a balanced meal whenever you can... not too many carbs, not too much protein... then get some exercise every day. That formula is 100% guaranteed to be a more effective plan than every other diet and pill in existence over the long haul, unless you've got some serious metabolic issues from birth.

...into the light of a dark black night.
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drewprops
Space Pirate
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Atlanta
 
2006-07-25, 22:45

drunk posting is probably not a good idea....
  quote
Moogs
Hates the Infotainment
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: NSA Archives
 
2006-07-25, 22:45

For you we can make an exception. Post!
  quote
drewprops
Space Pirate
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Atlanta
 
2006-07-25, 22:53

Well I did get this PM entitled "Heyey!!" that said, and I cut-n-paste:

YORUr havews
haave
a taisl
tails
talil
crapap

tail

they y asiad said so in Apaele
Apelse
Sp
Apsp
AppleiN
Aap
AppleOUTsidr


I don't want to say who it's from.... 'cause that would be kind of embarrassing....

Steve Jobs ate my cat's watermelon.
Captain Drew on Twitter
  quote
Windowsrookie
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Minnesota
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2006-07-25, 22:55

do drewprps be cstin nd paastn agern!
  quote
SKMDC
superkaratemonkeydeathcar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: chicago
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2006-07-25, 22:59

I actually think South Beach is very nice, The Cobb Salad at the Blue Door, all the art deco hotels, The impossibly beautiful people, the impossibly shady people, salsa music, my third favorite restaurant in the world, NEMO is there. As for Miami, well you know "it takes a shark to catch a wave at the Fountainbleu".

"What's a Canadian farm boy to do?"
  quote
drewprops
Space Pirate
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Atlanta
 
2006-07-25, 23:28

I think I was in Miami once, when I was six. Looking at the way they shoot it for film the place looks out of this world (those are the ritzy bits, I know). When I finally do get down there for a visit I plan to drive around with Donald Fagan's album 'The Nightfly' playing his version of Walk Between the Raindrops[iTunes Link]...

A shadow crossed the blue Miami sky
As we hit the causeway by the big hotel
We fought
Now I can't remember why
After all the words were said and tears were gone
We vowed we'd never say goodbye

When we kissed we could hear the sound of thunder
As we watched the regulars rush the big hotels
We kissed again as the showers swept the Florida shore
You opened your umbrella
But we walked between the raindrops back to your door

In my dreams I can hear the sound of thunder
I can see the causeway by the big hotels
That happy day we'll find each other on that Florida shore
You'll open your umbrella
And we'll walk between the raindrops back to your door...


Then I'll eat a big fat bowl of Cruel Whip and know that somewhere Messiahtosh is crying over the misuse of dietary specifications....

Steve Jobs ate my cat's watermelon.
Captain Drew on Twitter
  quote
billybobsky
BANNED
I am worthless beyond hope.
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Inner Swabia. If you have to ask twice, don't.
 
2006-07-25, 23:30

Quote:
Originally Posted by Messiahtosh
I'm drunk but I do not drink that heer. YUENGLING.
Blech!
  quote
AWR
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: State of Flux
 
2006-07-26, 01:50

Quote:
Originally Posted by 709
Maybe instead of 'South Beach' they meant to put 'Shaved Pussy'.


Maybe.
This instigated the first (of many, I hope) hearty laughs of the day. Merci.
  quote
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