Hoonigan
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Canada
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Jesus christ some people are messed up. I have this customer in my office, she's wasting my fucking time by going on and on about some stupid trip she made with her boyfriend to pick up a truck or some shit, while I'm ignoring her and shuffling papers trying to drop a hint on her dense head... and she drops 2 farts mid-sentence.
It was literally like this: "Yeah, it was my first time out that way, and it was pretty cool out *thhhbbt* *poofthhbt* oops, there with the rain and everything. And it took them 2 weeks to fix the truck... blah, blah, blah" She never missed a beat. No embarassed look, nothing. Just a quick "oops", an obvious clenching of sphincter muscle, and on with her story. So yeah, that's what my great thread is about. A woman just farted in front of me. She's probably at a gas station bathroom wiping her ass right now. The funny thing is, I just farted. I didn't know they were contagious like yawns. Goddamned farts and yawns. |
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Veteran Member
Join Date: May 2004
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Only you, man. Only you.
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¡Damned!
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Purgatory
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*thhhbbt*
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¡Damned!
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Purgatory
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Dammit Murbot!
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Selfish Heathen
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Zone of Pain
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Veteran Member
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Veteran Member
Join Date: May 2004
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I'm just glad everyone in my office is still at lunch. I hate laughing at my desk when the office is full. |
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Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: IL
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Farts are funny. Did you give her a high-five?
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Not sayin', just sayin'
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Do you know how many times I farted just reading your post, murbot?
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Which way is up?
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Boyzeee
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Space Pirate
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Atlanta
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Holy shit, I was going to start a fart thread yesterday but thought that nobody would respond. It was going to be "What's Your Funniest Fart Story?" but then I closed the window and went downstairs to eat chocolate cake. Too bad, it would've been fun to find out all your fart stories....
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¡Damned!
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Purgatory
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The funniest thing I've ever experienced with regards to farts happened a month or two ago.
Gato, the SO and I were laying in bed, Gato and her fast asleep (both on their backs), and me up reading with my little booklight. It's about 3 in morning and it's dead quiet. Out of fucking nowhere the SO lets out the *loudest* fart I have ever heard. I jump, the cat flies towards the ceiling claws out, and SHE wakes herself up and throws her hands and feet straight up in the air, looking around wide-eyed like the damn bed was collapsing underneath us. Oh my shit was that hilarious. I'm belly-laughing just typing this. So it goes. Last edited by 709 : 2005-09-22 at 14:38. |
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Antimatter Man
Join Date: May 2004
Location: that interweb thing
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Massachusetts
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Quite a hilarious thread. Thanks for the laughter.
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Sucker for shiny objects
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Its sad, but this made my day. I just got back from a 5 hour plant bio lab to find someone almost shat in front of murbot.
I was expecting a little more from the title, but beggers cant be choosers. |
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Veteran Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Near Indianapolis
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Then there was the person who was either an employee or a frequent customer with an unfortunate colon problem... I swear to God, the women's room looked like someone's ass exploded. We couldn't even get in there to wipe it down. We had to hose the walls off. Those stories a bit more like you expected? |
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Sucker for shiny objects
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Yea something along those lines except with murbot chearing them on.
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Mr. Vieira
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Tennessee
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I...but...how, um...
I'm going to bed, never to look at this thread again... (I should've known better anyway, considering the unholy combination of the topic AND the thread's creator. That's what curiosity gets me...f I were a cat, I'd be on my seventh life...). |
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I shot the sherrif.
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Most awkward moment in my life was working for a client at her house.
I show up and start working and after a few minutes I smell this god awful stench. I know I didn't rip, so I know it's her. I keep working, and decide to avoid the stench by breathing through my mouth. Bad idea. Instead of smelling it now I'm tasting it. UGH. Atomized shit. This goes on for another five minutes or so and I can tell she's getting uncomfortable. At this point she says she'll be right back, and makes a beeline for the bathroom. You have to understand, this is a one room shanty. There's no space for privacy, and the walls are paper thin. The next thing I know I can hear armageddon taking place in the bathroom. There's farts, squeels, splashes, squishes, moans, plops, trumpets and grunts. For 20 minutes. I worked as fast as I could hoping to god to get out of there before the stench killed me. That was the last time I did work for her. Google is your frenemy. Caveat Emptor - Latin for tough titty I tend to interpret things in the way that's most hilarious to me |
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Sucker for shiny objects
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This reminds me of the new Family Guy where Peter out-farts Michael Moore. Classic.
Now Im out to get a life......... |
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Space Pirate
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Atlanta
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man you gigolos have it hard....
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Veteran Member
Join Date: May 2004
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
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This is really hilarious. Maybe I'm just delirious. It's 3:29 and I'm working on a speech I have to make in class six hours from now. I'm far from finished. It's going to be a long night.
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¡Damned!
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Purgatory
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*stares blankly for a moment* |
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Which way is up?
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Boyzeee
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Sheesh! |
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