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"Houston, we have a problem"...talk about the wrong stuff
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psmith2.0
Mr. Farmiga
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Tennessee
 
2007-02-06, 15:27

Yikes:

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/02/06/ast...ted/index.html

Comforting to know that astronauts are just like predatory school teachers, coked-up pole dancers and everyone else.



Shouldn't take her long to adjust to another type of orange jumpsuit from the one she's accustomed to wearing.



Jeez.

I can almost predict the title/cast of the already-in-planning made-for-TV movie.

EDIT: $5 says Leno uses the "orange jumpsuit" joke tonight...I'll be watching.

Last edited by psmith2.0 : 2007-02-06 at 15:38.
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Foj
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Atlanta
 
2007-02-06, 15:43

Quote:
Originally Posted by pscates2.0 View Post
I can almost predict the title
My title prediction: Cellblock Apollo 13

Maybe they can put her on a space debris clean up crew.
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psmith2.0
Mr. Farmiga
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Tennessee
 
2007-02-06, 15:47

These jokes just write themselves, don't they?
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billybobsky
BANNED
I am worthless beyond hope.
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Inner Swabia. If you have to ask twice, don't.
 
2007-02-06, 15:57

NASA, which had been effective in keeping space psychosis under raps for nearly 5 decades is forced to reveal the truth after an unexperienced NASA mental facility guard is convinced that one of the astranauts needs a knife, steel mallot, diapers and keys to his teenager's car to go shopping for clothing in south florida.
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Freewell
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
 
2007-02-06, 16:06

And there are those who advocate adding females onto our submarines!!

Bad idea. Very bad idea.
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billybobsky
BANNED
I am worthless beyond hope.
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Inner Swabia. If you have to ask twice, don't.
 
2007-02-06, 16:25

Not as long as couples are not allowed on board... Otherwise it should be fine...
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turtle
Lord of the Rant.
Formerly turtle2472
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Upstate South Carolina
 
2007-02-06, 16:27

Quote:
Originally Posted by billybobsky View Post
Not as long as couples are not allowed on board... Otherwise it should be fine...
Well, you know, 150 men go down and 75 couples come up.
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drewprops
Space Pirate
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Atlanta
 
2007-02-06, 16:27

I call: Psychostronaut™
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PKIDelirium
Nobody bumps my lock
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Xenia, Ohio
 
2007-02-06, 16:28

Astro-naughty
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psmith2.0
Mr. Farmiga
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Tennessee
 
2007-02-06, 16:40

Man, I had to read that story again to take it all in. She is truly nutty, and drove a long way (and came prepared) to do someone harm.

She's going to have a tough go of it, trying to defend herself.



Nutball.

She wore DIAPERS on the trip from Texas to Florida so she wouldn't "have to make many stops".

Let me tell you something: if you're that hopped-up to kill someone that you've got no problem pissing/crapping yourself for 500 miles so you can get there quicker to get started with it...you've got a few issues.



Pull off at a Stuckey's or BP like a normal person. That's why they're there, lady. I'm guessing even the nastiest Chevron restroom trumps pissing on yourself.

Who the hell does this?

Oh, and if her attorney dares to try and bring up some funky bullcrap space malady to excuse this, I'm gonna puke.



[weasel attorney]"Your Honor, my client has been diagnosed with AIOPD - Armstrong Inter-Orbital Personality Disorder - and therefore did not possess the facu..."[/weasel attorney]

"Counselor, you're immediately disbarred."
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Foj
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Atlanta
 
2007-02-06, 16:52

Quote:
Originally Posted by pscates2.0 View Post
[weasel attorney]"Your Honor, my client has been diagnosed with AIOPD - Armstrong Inter-Orbital Personality Disorder - and therefore did not possess the facu..."[/weasel attorney]
Yeah. The shock of the last re-entry must have scrambled her thinking

Quote:
"Counselor, you're immediately disbarred. Get the hell out of my courtroom before I have you shot."
With the same bb gun she had on her.
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BlueRabbit
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: San Francisco, CA
 
2007-02-06, 18:00

Quote:
Originally Posted by pscates2.0 View Post
She wore DIAPERS on the trip from Texas to Florida so she wouldn't "have to make many stops".

Let me tell you something: if you're that hopped-up to kill someone that you've got no problem pissing/crapping yourself for 500 miles so you can get there quicker to get started with it...you've got a few issues.



Pull off at a Stuckey's or BP like a normal person. That's why they're there, lady. I'm guessing even the nastiest Chevron restroom trumps pissing on yourself.

Who the hell does this?
Astronauts wear diapers during take-off, re-entry, and spacewalks (no restrooms available there!), so I'm guessing that she was already used to it... Still pretty weird, though.
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spikeh
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2007-02-06, 18:08

I love the fact that she wore adult-diapers. Real dedication to the cause. I'd dock years from her sentence for showing initiative.
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Schnauzer
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Arizona
 
2007-02-06, 20:50

Quote:
Originally Posted by PKIDelirium View Post
Astro-naughty
LOL nice one
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Windowsrookie
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Minnesota
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2007-02-06, 21:23

It doesn't work in space.
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Banana
is the next Chiquita
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
 
2007-02-06, 22:03

Wait a minute-

I was told that they don't wear diapers? They basically hook you up to tubes that has some suction (aka vacuum cleaner) which is necessary to contain the liquid waste in practically weightless environment?

*going off to google*
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Brave Ulysses
BANNED
I am worthless beyond hope.
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
 
2007-02-06, 22:03

Quote:
Originally Posted by Banana View Post
Wait a minute-

I was told that they don't wear diapers? They basically hook you up to tubes that has some suction (aka vacuum cleaner) which is necessary to contain the liquid waste in practically weightless environment?

*going off to google*
Not during orbit. But on take off, landing, and moon walks you can't really do anything but go when nature calls.
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psmith2.0
Mr. Farmiga
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Tennessee
 
2007-02-07, 00:42

Conan just said that the male astronaut was disappointed the lady was arrested...he was wanting some Tang.



Maybe I'm loopy, but it made me cackle out loud...

That is all. Over and out.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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Windswept
On Pacific time
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Moderator's Pub
 
2007-02-07, 14:19

Quote:
Originally Posted by pscates2.0 View Post
Let me tell you something: if you're that hopped-up to kill someone that you've got no problem pissing/crapping yourself for 500 miles so you can get there quicker to get started with it...you've got a few issues.
I think she was rushing to catch the other woman as she walked to her car in the airport parking lot after her flight.

So she had a deadline, and no time to lose.
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Brave Ulysses
BANNED
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Join Date: Dec 2005
 
2007-02-07, 16:02

Quote:
Originally Posted by Freewell View Post
And there are those who advocate adding females onto our submarines!!

Bad idea. Very bad idea.
Why is it a bad idea?
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Barto
Student extraordinaire
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Canberra, Australia
 
2007-02-07, 16:07

Because all women drive hundreds of kilometres wearing adult diapers to kill "love rivals", and men are always serious and disciplined. Didn't you know that?

Also there are no gay sailors (who ever heard of something so far fetched as a gay sailor) so you never have romantic problems on male-only submarines.

The sky was deep black; Jesus still loved me. I started down the alley, wailing in a ragged bass.
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Brave Ulysses
BANNED
I am worthless beyond hope.
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
 
2007-02-07, 16:09

Quote:
Originally Posted by Barto View Post
Because all women drive hundreds of kilometres wearing adult diapers to kill "love rivals", and men are always serious and disciplined. Didn't you know that?

Also there are no gay sailors (who ever heard of something so far fetched as a gay sailor) so you never have romantic problems on male-only submarines.
Oh. Ok. That's what I thought
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curiousuburb
Antimatter Man
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: that interweb thing
 
2007-02-07, 18:07

So for the first chunk of the article, I'm wondering how the hell pepper spray counts as attempted murder... even habañero...

Then a BB gun... and I'm still thinking WTF? Attempted Murder?

But somehow I'm thinking the steel mallet and blades and trash bags and gloves aren't for manicuring a croquet pitch.



If they'd found lighter fluid and matches and a note saying she was going to "Columbia the B*tch", that's guilty and just plain bad form.

All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
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thuh Freak
Finally broke the seal
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2007-02-07, 18:24

Quote:
Originally Posted by Banana View Post
Wait a minute-

I was told that they don't wear diapers? They basically hook you up to tubes that has some suction (aka vacuum cleaner) which is necessary to contain the liquid waste in practically weightless environment?

*going off to google*
thuh Freak is reminded of a whimsical song by Donovan, Intergalactic Laxative. Worth a hear if you like to hear things. Or a read of the lyrics, as it may go

Last edited by thuh Freak : 2007-02-07 at 20:15. Reason: idk
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Mariner
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
 
2007-02-10, 22:58

We've just learned that there was a communication from mission control
during her 1000 mile drive.

"This is Houston, do we have a problem?"
She answered,
"Depends..."
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Freewell
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
 
2007-02-15, 16:03

I found a copy of one of the secret, slinky glamour shots Nowack had taken on their last *mission*...

Operation Private Eyes
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turtle
Lord of the Rant.
Formerly turtle2472
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Upstate South Carolina
 
2007-03-08, 20:55

For those how don't know it, she was fired yesterday. This isn't common, in fact, it's the first that I'm aware of. Now I wonder what the Navy is going to do with a Captain that is up on felony charges? How would you like to be her subordinate?

Louis L'Amour, “To make democracy work, we must be a notion of participants, not simply observers. One who does not vote has no right to complain.”
MineCraft? mc.applenova.com | Visit us! | Maybe someday I'll proof read, until then deal with it.
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