[murbot]

Why the Phantom Menace Sucks

[psmith2.0]

Ha...I just came here to post that!

I just saw it at Daring Fireball.

Finally, someone lays it out like it should be.

[709]

OK. The bit where he's like "often they'll get the girl in the end as icing on the cake" while showing this:



Made me bust out laughing.

[psmith2.0]

Regarding Anakin (part 5 of 7, at the 5:30 mark): "Nobody likes little kids. Especially ones that can't act. That's a kiss of death for your movie."



So true. That little mop-head was completely unwatchable.

EDIT: Anyone else having trouble getting the final installment (7 of 7) to load/play? Bummer...1-6 all played instantly, with no trouble. Part 7 just sits there, with a black screen with the spinning "I'm working on it!" graphic in YouTube. Pushing the "play" arrow does nothing.

EDIT AGAIN: Ah, here's an alternate link.

[Brad]

Hilarious. Wifey and I watched all seven parts earlier and were laughing out loud throughout. Be sure to browse the uploader's other works, too. He also picks on the TNG Trek movies, but none are quite as terrible/awesome as his Phantom Menace review.

[billybobsky]

that was awesome.

I suspect he could make an actual serial series out of it...

[psmith2.0]

I cackles out loud several times. I loved the basement footage. You saw the skulls and bones and he's going "what is this?" and moves one of the skulls out of the way " is this a Darth Maul saber?"



when the camera panned around and there's someone against the wall, chained.

"Quiet! I'm doing my Star Wars review for YouTube."

"Please, mister..."

WTF?!

[PB PM]

That was a great review... so true.

[murbot]

I like the part about that intro shot from the original Star Wars, where he says something like "in fact this shot is so great that I am sure George Lucas had nothing to do with it, and probably fought to have it not included in the movie".



Some quality shit in those vids.

[psmith2.0]

It certainly makes you wonder. Lucas wasn't so established and "in control" while filming "A New Hope", so I bet he had to get help from others, or took their advice. Probably made for a better movie. Maybe he was just always this hopeless and as he gained greater control and say-so over the six movies, it showed?

I was talking to someone several years ago about how the other movies aren't like the first two (even ROTJ got a little silly in places, with the slapstick and throwaway lines). And this person said "actually, it's the first two that aren't like all the rest".

Seemed flippant and smart-assed at the time, but it got me thinking about how you've got "lightning in a bottle and a whiz-bang followup" represented by the 1977 and 1980 releases (how could they mess up "Empire"?), but, from there out, it was a George Lucas growing ever more powerful and in control. And it showing, more and more?

You can watch all those "making of" and "behind the scenes" documentaries that were made during the filming of the prequels. Lucas comes across as both so arbitrary and unsure of so much. But everyone around him was in full "Yes, George...whatever you say!" mode. He'd walk into a room with sketches or mockups presented to him and would just start slicing and dicing, no discussion or back-and-forth. He'd nix 5-10 ideas or looks instantly with that stupid pen of his, and then focus on one mediocre one, but demand about 22 changes that deviated so far from the original thing that supposedly "caught his eye".



I don't think he knew what he was after, other than "it's time to tell the 'before' story." Someone should've written and directed this stuff better.



Or, at the very least, if someone - anyone - could've stepped in a few hundred times between 1995 and 2005 and just said "alright, knock it off with this shit, George. Focus! Pretend it's 1975-1976, okay? Think back...", these prequels might've been worth something.

What a blown opportunity and missed chance. I think it tainted the franchise. Half the people who talk about "Star Wars" now do so with a bit of derision and sarcasm because of these damn prequels ("The Phantom Menace" in particular). Hell, I do...and I love this stuff!

[alcimedes]

If anyone else thought this movie was terrible, then you might get a kick out of this.

Guy spends 70 minutes explaining how horrible this movie is, in relation to films in general and the other (previous) three star wars films. If you have the time, well worth watching. I'm only on the fifth segment, but it's good.

http://www.slashfilm.com/2009/12/17/...hantom-menace/

[chucker]

That guy manages to be weird (reaaaally weird), funny and yet insightful and education. There's some other reviews he's done, too, such as of various Star Trek movies, though this is I believe by far his longest.

[Brad]

You're on a roll about creating threads when the discussion already exists elsewhere here, alc! Wanna start a thread about how awesome your desktop picture is?

Threads split/merged again!

[709]

RTFF!

[BuonRotto]

I recall reading something way back when who said that Lucas' ex-wife had a huge role in making the original films tolerable. She was one of the few people willing to tell him "that's stupid" and along with a limited budget for somethings, he was forced into decisions that actually helped the film since he didn't know what to do and others chipped in with their ideas. Also, his lack of day-to-day lurking on the sets of Episodes V and VI were a huge boon. Let's face it, Lucas and everyone else knows he can't direct. Unfortunately, he thinks he can write a screenplay by himself (I think this is where his wife mainly helped) and over-produces everything with his limitless budget. To paraphrase Stravinsky, the more you are limited, the more creative you can be.

[alcimedes]

Hmm, apparently I'm in some weird time warp where I'm days behind everyone else.

[murbot]

Shit, do I get banned now for starting a thread with just a link?

[psmith2.0]

Originally Posted by BuonRotto I recall reading something way back when who said that Lucas' ex-wife had a huge role in making the original films tolerable. She was one of the few people willing to tell him "that's stupid" and along with a limited budget for somethings, he was forced into decisions that actually helped the film since he didn't know what to do and others chipped in with their ideas. Also, his lack of day-to-day lurking on the sets of Episodes V and VI were a huge boon. Let's face it, Lucas and everyone else knows he can't direct. Unfortunately, he thinks he can write a screenplay by himself (I think this is where his wife mainly helped) and over-produces everything with his limitless budget. To paraphrase Stravinsky, the more you are limited, the more creative you can be.

Good, sensible points. I agree completely, and have thought this for a good while.

[scratt]

I think when you see the quality of the acting in CG scenes in Avatar it really brings it home how royally Lucas fucked up the last few Star Wars movies.

[psmith2.0]

You know what would be cool?

If Lucas, before he dies, came out and officially denounced/undid the prequels, striking them from public memory and "Star Wars" canon.

Then he cut a deal with some top-notch filmmakers and writers to "do it right...and to restore my good name upon my passing."

[tomoe]

As much as I hate Star Wars Episode 1 (with the exception of Darth Maul), I also despise the whiny little bitch that is Luke in Episodes 4-6. For me, Mark Hamil is just slightly less obnoxious than Hayden Christensen. Thankfully for MH, the story, and everything aside from him, was awesome. I can't say as much for HC.

[Kraetos]

Qui-Gon Booze.

[Mariner]

Yes, I saw this link on Daring Fireball. I was surprised that I watched the whole thing. I sent this note to some friends:

This is interesting but there are two problems.

The guys voice is awful. This is not just unpleasant but awful like a picnic at Gitmo with Dick Cheny. You can hear the potato salad going bad.

Then you are contemplating spending more than an hour having someone explain why something is dreadful that you already know is dreadful.

Anyway, as Rod Serling used to say, "Submitted for your consideration..."

Watch This: 70-Minute Video Review of Star Wars: The Phantom Menace | /Film


on the other hand, it is quite harsh

--------
ps
It has been a while since I've seen it, but THX 1138 was quite good.

[Hassan i Sabbah]

This is HILARIOUS.

[bassplayinMacFiend]

I watched the first two portions and LOLed at many items. If I have time I'll definitely watch the rest.

Funny you mention THX-1138 as I was thinking of this movie the other day; remembering the line, "Buy. Buy more. Buy more now and be happy. Blessings of the church and of the state..."

[Moogs]

William Shakesman.

LMAO

Last 20 seconds of part 6 says it all. Lucas completely lost his way.

[Robo]

So true. I remember seeing Episode I and really not caring about any of it. It had so much talk about trade routes and taxes and senates and I was like, what is this, Intergalactic C-SPAN? And none of the characters were likable. I was going to the theater to see the biggest film of the year -- and I was almost never allowed to go to the theater -- and I was honestly bored. And confused. I remember that too.

I do feel just a little bad for Lucas, though. Just looking at his face after he screened the film to his team..."I may have gone a little far in some places..." He knows he blew it, and he knows he can't change it. He'll have to release it, and he knows that it will tarnish his legacy. I feel a little bad for him, there. I wouldn't envy that feeling.

But then again, he did make the thing. And then he made most of the same mistakes again, with Episode II. So...

It was almost like...Lucas had fallen in love with his own world, his own universe, and was convinced that would be enough for the film. We would care about the characters without them really earning it, just because they were Jedi or whatever. Except we didn't. From what I gather, he was very concerned with all the window dressings -- he apparently approved all the vehicle schematics himself, and had lavish concept paintings made, &c. -- without first making sure he had things like, Idunno, a plot people would care about? Sort of like all the fantasy novelists I dislike, the ones who spend their time "worldbuilding" and inventing languages and drawing detailed maps of (usually not very original) locales instead of worrying about their boring paper-thin characters or hackneyed cliche plot.

[alcimedes]

I feel asleep during Star Wars Episode 1 when I saw it in the theater.

[psmith2.0]

I remember the entire experience, as though it happened last week...

I saw it at the San Marcos Edwards (stadium seater) in San Marcos, California (northern San Diego, County). A huge line outside, even though we'd all bought advance tickets a week or two out, shoulder-to-shoulder crowds, people screaming and lightsaber fighting in the lobby and auditorium. No empty seats (sitting beside strangers), etc. When the lights went down, everyone lost their minds. A ton of trailers and commercials (people getting feisty). Then the Lucasfilm logo and the 20th Century Fox graphic/fanfare and everyone went even more bonkers.

This was a new "Star Wars" movie, for the first time in 16 years!

Then that big orchestral blast and the stylized SW logo appearing and receding into space and the title crawl. Yeah, I got a little misty...I ain't gonna lie. This is a huge piece of my childhood, returning to me after so many years. All those feelings I had in 1977 and 1980...they were right there!

It was an amazing sight to behold, and with that theme music. I was in heaven, and my heart was racing. Popcorn never tasted so good. I felt young and "in awe" again at a movie, for the first time in ages! And everyone around me was feeling the same way.

"We're watching a new 'Star Wars' movie...yeah!!!"







30-45 minutes later, I wanted to throw myself out a window.

Afterwards, I remember driving home...I was so deflated and "WTF did I just see?!"



My roommate was still awake and asked "so, how was it?" (I'd been bending her ear about it for a week). And I just shook my head with a glum look on my face..."It wasn't that good at all."

[PB PM]

I'm with the majority here, the new movies were a let down. Too much CGI these days. Many people I know recently went to a movie they knew was lame, just to see the graphics.