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My manhood is in a downward spiral into oblivion.


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My manhood is in a downward spiral into oblivion.
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murbot
Mammogram Tech
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Canada
 
2004-09-08, 11:15

My wife (and our daughter, and her f**king mother) want our new dog to be a sucky little Shitzu.

I had to miss part of the hockey game last night to go and buy f**king apple juice, because one of my daughters suddenly HATES ORANGE JUICE?!

Today I am driving 3 hours to take my wife to a Sarah F**king McLaughlan concert in Calgary.

I haven't been laid in over a week.

My balls ache.

Help me.
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thuh Freak
Finally broke the seal
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2004-09-08, 11:29

sounds to me like someone needs some tension relief.
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staph
Microbial member
 
Join Date: May 2004
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2004-09-08, 11:31

Quote:
Originally Posted by murbot
My wife (and our daughter, and her f**king mother) want our new dog to be a sucky little Shitzu.
I'm sure its wussiness will simply be as a foil to your masculinity.

Maybe you should plan on some male progeny at some stage?

Quote:
I had to miss part of the hockey game last night to go and buy f**king apple juice, because one of my daughters suddenly HATES ORANGE JUICE?!
Well, it does turn you orange if you drink too much you know. My sister once got sent home with suspect hepatitis 'cos of that…

Quote:
Today I am driving 3 hours to take my wife to a Sarah F**king McLaughlan concert in Calgary.
You don't enjoy the pit at SM concerts? Think of all the little people you can injure!!

Quote:
I haven't been laid in over a week.

My balls ache.

Help me.
I'm afraid that I can't help you with that (although maybe these guys can).

Perhaps an act of petty revenge is in order? Take them all lawnmower shopping or something… develop an interest in cricket and drag them along to test matches?
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murbot
Mammogram Tech
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Canada
 
2004-09-08, 11:37

http://www.passionforpleasure.com/images/sexdolls.jpg

That one on the right almost looks real! Wow.
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Crusader
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Westminster, MD
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2004-09-08, 12:08

The last day of the rest of your life?
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Chinney
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Ottawa, ON
 
2004-09-08, 12:18

Murbot:
You will survive
Oh as long as you know how to love
I know you will stay alive
You've got all your life to live
You've got all your love to give
and you'll survive
You will survive (hey-hey)

*avoids flying bricks*

When there's an eel in the lake that's as long as a snake that's a moray.
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ast3r3x
25 chars of wasted space.
 
Join Date: May 2004
Send a message via AIM to ast3r3x  
2004-09-08, 12:37

Quote:
Originally Posted by murbot
My wife (and our daughter, and her f**king mother) want our new dog to be a sucky little Shitzu.

I had to miss part of the hockey game last night to go and buy f**king apple juice, because one of my daughters suddenly HATES ORANGE JUICE?!

Today I am driving 3 hours to take my wife to a Sarah F**king McLaughlan concert in Calgary.

I haven't been laid in over a week.

My balls ache.

Help me.
Don't get shitzu...simple as that. You seem to be spoiling your daughters. You may be spoiling your wife as well It's nice to occasionally go out of yoru way to be nice to your wife, and I don't think that it would be that bad of a concert.

Tell your wife if you are taking her to the damn concert she can at least help you with the last one.
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Kickaha
Likes his boobies blue.
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Hell
 
2004-09-08, 12:40

Buy the Shitzu.

Buy a Rotty as well.

Rotty eats Shitzu.

Problem solved.
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curiousuburb
Antimatter Man
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: that interweb thing
 
2004-09-08, 12:47

Keep your pecker up, dude.

Trade dog breed for naming rights...
if the chicks insist on a shitzu, you should insist on naming it "Wuss".

"Here, wuss... come on wuss... bring me my slippers wuss."
You'll feel better every time you talk to the little rodent
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murbot
Mammogram Tech
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Canada
 
2004-09-08, 12:50

I think I'll buy a "special eastern german" Shitzu. Maybe they won't know it's actually a Rottie pup until it hits 12-14 weeks.

Yeah, the concert hopefully won't be too bad. Probably lots of hot chicks there, so what the hell. Too bad most of them will be lesbians. Well, that could be good if they're serving alcohol at this thing, and the ballads are enough to make a couple of hotties lose their inhibitions and start making out in front of us. Mmmm... hot lesbians.

Anyways guys, I'm heading out in 20. See ya tomorrow.

Oh yeah, forgot to mention that I'm missing the Canada - Slovakia game today for this concert. Oh man I better get screwed to death tonight.

Last edited by murbot : 2004-09-08 at 13:02.
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curiousuburb
Antimatter Man
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: that interweb thing
 
2004-09-08, 13:15

Make a point of driving the red mile for some Flamesgirls action if you're feeling low.
Maybe the hubby will get inspired.
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pscates2.0
Mr. Farmiga
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2004-09-08, 13:56

Here's to murbot knocking it out tonight. Go get 'em!

Did you attend a Lilith Fair concert, by any chance? Now THAT'S an event. Kinda like a big LPGA tournament, with amps.
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Chinney
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Ottawa, ON
 
2004-09-08, 14:59

Quote:
Originally Posted by curiousuburb
Keep your pecker up, dude.

Trade dog breed for naming rights...
if the chicks insist on a shitzu, you should insist on naming it "Wuss".

"Here, wuss... come on wuss... bring me my slippers wuss."
You'll feel better every time you talk to the little rodent
Even that minimal ‘naming’ right was denied to me. In May, I returned from a business trip out west not only to find my wife and kids had bought a puppy (Shetland-mix), unannounced, but that they had named it “Duck”.

When there's an eel in the lake that's as long as a snake that's a moray.
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applenut
BANNED
I am worthless beyond hope.
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2004-09-08, 15:50

Quote:
Originally Posted by pscates2.0
Here's to murbot knocking it out tonight. Go get 'em!

Did you attend a Lilith Fair concert, by any chance? Now THAT'S an event. Kinda like a big LPGA tournament, with amps.

sarah mclauchlan isn't that bad. i wouldn't be surprised if he thought the show was alright.

lilith fair, it had some good people at some points. natalie merchant has one of the most beautiful voices in the world and has an incredible band backing her.
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Kickaha
Likes his boobies blue.
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Hell
 
2004-09-08, 19:53

Wow, Berkeley *HAS* gotten to you, hasn't it?!?



I keed, I keed...
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SKMDC
superkaratemonkeydeathcar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: chicago
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2004-09-08, 21:01

hey man, keep your nuts in a ziploc bag and put them on ice, maybe they can reattach them later......
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Brad
Selfish Heathen
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Zone of Pain
 
2004-09-08, 21:15

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kickaha
Wow, Berkeley *HAS* gotten to you, hasn't it?!?



I keed, I keed...


I actually went to a Sarah McLachlan concert over the summer with my girlfriend. It wasn't so bad.

As for the new Shitzu... errr... can't help you there except for extending my deepest sympathy and pity.

The quality of this board depends on the quality of the posts. The only way to guarantee thoughtful, informative discussion is to write thoughtful, informative posts. AppleNova is not a real-time chat forum. You have time to compose messages and edit them before and after posting.
  quote
Zodiac
Shiny, Musky, Fleshy Member
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: The Beer Store
 
2004-09-08, 21:42

Maybe if you GOT the dog and DIDN'T call it Wuss, you'd get laid.
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scratt
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: M-F: Thailand Weekends : F1 2010 - Various Tracks!
Send a message via Skype™ to scratt 
2004-09-08, 21:44

They say that people look like their dogs...

So what I want to know is who looks like a Shitzu in your familly?

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Eugene
careful with axes
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Hillsborough, CA
 
2004-09-08, 21:46

Quote:
Originally Posted by murbot
Today I am driving 3 hours to take my wife to a Sarah F**king McLaughlan concert in Calgary.
Lebanese?
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alcimedes
I shot the sherrif.
 
Join Date: May 2004
Send a message via ICQ to alcimedes  
2004-09-08, 22:13

i told you that online thing you've been trying to talk me into was the devil. now look at you.

your wife must have found out by looking through your internet cache, or read one of those chat messages. once that shit's out, you never get your manhood back.

best of luck.

Google is your frenemy.
Caveat Emptor - Latin for tough titty
I tend to interpret things in the way that's most hilarious to me
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Windswept
On Pacific time
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Moderator's Pub
 
2004-09-08, 23:33

Hey murbeau. My advice: buy a Samoyed puppy. Once they see it, they will be in love, because nothing is cuter than a samoyed puppy. You'll probably have to make another trip to Calgary, though, in order to find such a dog.

Make sure she has been x-rayed (by the breeder) for hip dysplasia and is clear of that problem.

Samoyeds are very loving, sweet, and beautiful. They need a trip to the groomers twice a year, but otherwise stay nice and white and fluffy with no effort by the owner (ie. they *don't* need constant brushing, as some people might imagine). Tell your wife a samoyed will protect her, and will scare off any trouble before it happens. They are *great* with children. A burglar would laugh at a shitzu...one swift kick is all it would take to 'dispatch' such a small, yappy dog.

I think your girls should be drinking more milk, so their bodies will produce dense bone for the future. Look into the milk options though. I don't think all this milk from hormone-fed cows is such a great idea.

I have advice for the last problem, too; but you'll have to PM me if you want to hear that.
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thegelding
feeling my oats
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: there are nice people here...that makes me happy
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2004-09-09, 07:01

the ceiling fans at the murbot household are in grave danger

g
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Moogs
Hates the Infotainment
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: NSA Archives
 
2004-09-09, 09:13

Quote:
Originally Posted by murbot
My wife (and our daughter, and her f**king mother) want our new dog to be a sucky little Shitzu.
Gahhh! Just say no ™ to Shitzu ownership. This sounds like it might be one of those "we got the kind of dog you wanted last time, now we get the kind of dog I (the wife) want"... is that close? If so, you're screwed. If not, I recommend showing your wife and daughter

This.

Rescues in western Canada are listed. These dogs are cute and cuddly to appeal to the chics in the house, and also extremely smart, energetic and ready to rumble for the man of the house. Get one. You will thank me, your wife will thank me... and your daughter will be too busy petting the cute fuzzy eared dog to thank me.

Quote:
I had to miss part of the hockey game last night to go and buy f**king apple juice, because one of my daughters suddenly HATES ORANGE JUICE?!
Oh man; that's just wrong. Clearly you have not indoctrinated her enough into the world of hockey, or she wouldn't have noticed she wanted apple juice because she would've been too busy watching Canada shellak Slovakia. This one is easy to fix, thankfully. Just make sure she spends more quality time with Daddy watching hockey!

Quote:
Today I am driving 3 hours to take my wife to a Sarah F**king McLaughlan concert in Calgary.
I weep for you, brother... at least she could've demanded to see a cool female singer like Sheryl Crow (or at least a woman whose headliner band is Aldo Nova). Joan Jett reunion tour?

Quote:
I haven't been laid in over a week.

My balls ache.

Help me.
This may seem worse because of all the above issues, but really, a week is nothing compared to most married guys I know. A month is not uncommon for most of them, and when they're having a lot of arguing, two or three months.


...into the light of a dark black night.
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pscates2.0
Mr. Farmiga
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2004-09-09, 09:45

Mmm...Joan Jett. (we need one of those leering, dirty-old-man smileys).

The butchier she gets, the sexier I find her...go figure. Not sure what that says about me...
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Moogs
Hates the Infotainment
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: NSA Archives
 
2004-09-09, 10:20

mmmmrrrrrow! Joan is looking pretty sexy indeed, considering how much time has passed since her hey-day. She is looking slighly anorexic however. She could use another 20 pounds.
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Kickaha
Likes his boobies blue.
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Hell
 
2004-09-09, 11:38

Damn, man! Got that Susan Powter thang going on... of course, Powter now is sporting massive blonde dreds...
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applenut
BANNED
I am worthless beyond hope.
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2004-09-09, 13:47

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kickaha
Wow, Berkeley *HAS* gotten to you, hasn't it?!?



I keed, I keed...

lol. serious. sarah gets a bad rap....

and natalie merchant, come on, how can you not like her?
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Powerdoc
Cat's Dreamlands
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2004-09-09, 14:05

Murbot, I don't know what to say, the truth is .... there is no way I could survive to a Shitzu

Condoleances man. I am going to drink a beer in silence to support your pain
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Kickaha
Likes his boobies blue.
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Hell
 
2004-09-09, 14:21

I have a firm rule regarding dogs.

Any dog small enough to punt, should be.


No, no, I'd never actually *DO* it, but I can not STAND little yappy dogs. Useless little wastes of space.

My other brain is hung like a horse too.
#IRC isn't old school.
Old school is being able to say 'finger me' with a straight face.
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