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J-Lo's new song makes me want to hurt people..


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J-Lo's new song makes me want to hurt people..
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scratt
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2006-04-28, 07:10

We have been listening to BBC Radio 1 over the internet for the last week or so...

The new J-Lo and some other "ex-gangsta rapper turned surburbia idiot" song is quite popular.
LL Cool J my wife informs me.. Apparently he had credibility once..

Are you guys familiar with it?

It ends with the mind numbingly complicated lyrics.. Something like "Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z" over and over again! And then the other lyric "I can't control myself" with J-Lo "singing" (I use the term loosly) out of tune over the top...

Jesus Christ! I bet they were laughing all the way back to their Mercedes after the 30 seconds it took out of their busy schedule to put that piece of crap together in the recording studio.

They just knew their retarded fans would buy any old crap they put out.. and now they can get back to their important lives and not have to work for the hoy paloy for a few more months! I actually think they should be tried for some kind of criminal conspiracy... That is not a piece of art / music / whatever.. It's just a con.

I actually like J-Lo as an actress. Not really into her music, but could tolerate it. She has done some good stuff, acting wise though.. Much better than Madge as a pop star / hollywood wanna-be.

Unfortunately I think that J-Lo has put a song out worthy of Victoria Beckham.

I have always thought that Beckham aspired to be J-Lo with her recent attempts to resurrect her non-existant career, and her rap attempts... Jesus!

But now J-Lo has manged to screw up her musical career so badly she is actually worse than Vistoria Beckham.. Good Grief, what a long way to fall!

What do other people think?

'Remember, measure life by the moments that take your breath away, not by how many breaths you take'
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turbulentfurball
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2006-04-28, 07:29

Ah. J-Whore. How I hate her so. I've not had the misfortune to hear that 'song' yet

Quote:
Originally Posted by scratt
Jesus Christ! I bet they were laughing all the way back to their Mercedes after the 30 seconds it took out of their busy schedule to put that piece of crap together in the recording studio
But remember not to be fooled by the rocks that she's got, she's still Jenny from the Block. She loves her public too. Always remember that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by scratt
But now J-Lo has manged to screw up her musical career so badly she is actually worse than Vistoria Beckham.. Good Grief, what a long way to fall!
That's an insult to Victoria Beckham
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Brad
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2006-04-28, 07:31

Nothing could be much worse than her last "hit" song that basically consisted of two shrill sax loops (each about two or three seconds in length) repeated over four minutes.

I don't intend to find any audio clips of this new song. Sadly, though, I have no doubt that I'll hear it on ringtones in a few weeks.

The quality of this board depends on the quality of the posts. The only way to guarantee thoughtful, informative discussion is to write thoughtful, informative posts. AppleNova is not a real-time chat forum. You have time to compose messages and edit them before and after posting.
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scratt
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2006-04-28, 07:33

It's worse.. I do know what you mean about the sax loop one..

Wel this is the same (in terms of crapness) but with her and LL Cool J going ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ for about a minute at the end! It would be funny if I didn't want to kill people and have to do harm to myself everytime I hear it!

'Remember, measure life by the moments that take your breath away, not by how many breaths you take'
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scratt
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2006-04-28, 07:34

Quote:
Originally Posted by turbulentfurball
That's an insult to Victoria Beckham
But you can't actually insult someone that stupid! They have no idea you are insulting them. So it doesn't matter!
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AWR
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2006-04-28, 07:45

Quote:
Originally Posted by scratt
But you can't actually insult someone that stupid! They have no idea you are insulting them. So it doesn't matter!
This reminds me of a good attempt at doing so.

Ali G was "interviewing" Becks and Posh, and asked, in his way, about Brooklyn: "would you like him to grow up to be a footballer like his father or a singer like [pause], like [pause] Mariah Carey."

I pissed myself.

The Beckhams took it in stride, but now I wonder if Victoria got the joke.
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scratt
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2006-04-28, 07:47

He He! Take a look at the Spice Girls video for "Tell me what you want".

She does nothing except get in the way.. It's almost like she's the dumb mate they allowed to come along as long as she didn't mess it up.

She is out of shot 99% of the time, doing her own out of time dance, and she never sings, apart from one short bit at the end, when they sing over her.

It's so funny man!

'Remember, measure life by the moments that take your breath away, not by how many breaths you take'
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_Ω_
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2006-04-28, 07:51

I have to admit this thread irks me.

You are ALL meant to be at this thread helping me solve this issue.

Wankers.

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scratt
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2006-04-28, 08:22



Blame it on J-Lo, man. It's so totally her fault!
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psmith2.0
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2006-04-28, 08:36

Just another contemporary "artist" I simply don't get. While she has it over Paris Hilton in that she actually DOES something (sings, acts, etc.), it's still not my cup of tea and strikes me as disposable bonehead music...

But I do loves her butt, I won't lie.

She's an okay actress at times (I liked her in "Out of Sight" and "Blood and Wine"). But she's definitely lacking in the singing/music department. Just tired, run-of-the-mill schlock pop.

Music for teen MTV viewers to text-message to, I guess...
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CFP
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2006-04-28, 09:43

She was Janet Jackson's backing singer before she got her own deal. You can see her in the vid for 'That's The Way Love Goes'. It speaks volumes really. Silly bint should have stayed in the back where she belongs. Not that I find her irritating or anything

"Ha! I laugh at danger and drop ice cubes down the vest of fear." Edmund Blackadder, circa 1766
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Banana
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2006-04-28, 09:44

Thanks for making my day.

*Listen to beautiful, golden silence*


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sunrain
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2006-04-28, 09:54

Quote:
Originally Posted by pscates2.0
Music for teen MTV viewers to text-message to, I guess...
"Dick, I give it an 88. It has a good beat and you can text-message to it."

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Luca
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2006-04-28, 09:55

See this is why I watch MTV on mute.

Just kidding, I don't subscribe to cable.
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Banana
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2006-04-28, 09:56

Even if you had MTV, would it be worth it watching mute?
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psmith2.0
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2006-04-28, 10:04

Thing is, MTV and VH-1 don't really play music videos anymore. If MTV does, it's ultra current/trendy stuff or hip-hop (gold, gold and more gold...on my teeth, around my neck, on my car, etc. ). VH-1, however, just seems to play nothing but "Look Back at the 80's", "Former Child Star Roundup!" and things like that. They're more like E! these days...no music at all, just endless celebrity-oriented fare and stupid reality shows.



I used to like VH-1 years ago because they'd actually play some good music (not the MTV stuff). But no more...I can't tell you the last time I saw a music video there.

Sadly, the same thing has happened to CMT. It used to be wall-to-wall videos, but now it's original programming ("Trick My Truck"...a blue-collor, redneck take on "Pimp My Ride"), endless "Best Hairstyles in Country Music" documentaries, movies (how many times can they run "Smokey and the Bandit"?) and those shows where they show 10-second SNIPPETS of actual videos, but have a bunch of unfunny comedians or celebrities (usually of the has-been variety) commenting on them, trying to be snarky or cutting.

Oh, and awards shows. There are currently 614 awards shows, between the three networks.

"Live from Los Angeles, it's the 2006 VH-1 Big Hat & Nice Ass Awards! And here's your host, Hilary Lohan Aniston!"



Hey guys (VH1, MTV, CMT), HERE'S an idea...how about PLAYING the entire damn video (you know, like you used to) so I can watch it. If I really give two bats about what Tony Orlando, George Jefferson or the chick from "Growing Pains" thinks about it, I'll write them and ask.


Last edited by psmith2.0 : 2006-04-28 at 10:12.
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Luca
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2006-04-28, 10:07

So even if I were to purchase cable TV service and watch it (unlikely as I spend little time at home and even standard cable channels is a good $40/month), I wouldn't get to watch J-Lo and others shaking their asse(t)s all day? LAME.

See, that's what the internet is for. Free* and much more entertaining.

*Yes I know internet service costs money.
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psmith2.0
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2006-04-28, 10:15

Nope. You'd see a show ABOUT J-Lo shaking her ass (with commentary from Mo Rocca, some Mad TV reject and maybe Paul Reiser). But no, not the actual video. Never. You might see some 5-second clips from it (in between the banter of the above individuals). But not the actual thing, no.

And if you watched for more than 2-3 weeks, one of the 614 award shows would cycle around again and you'd see the video that never gets played actually win an award for "Best Shaking Ass in a Music Video" category. But, again, you'd never see the video itself. Go figure.

Irony.

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sunrain
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2006-04-28, 10:17

Quote:
Originally Posted by pscates2.0
(how many times can they run "Smokey and the Bandit"?)
One more time. That's always the answer. One more time.
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Luca
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2006-04-28, 10:18

Well at least I could turn it to Comedy Central and watch Carlos Mencia's "comedy" routine.

Mencia: Gooks niggers spics spics wetbacks gooks jews niggers!
Audience: LOL! He's so edgy!
Mencia: Meskins spics!

EDIT: I forgot. Beaners beaners beaners!

Last edited by Luca : 2006-04-28 at 10:30.
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psmith2.0
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2006-04-28, 10:23

He's an idiot, Mencia. Just not even funny, I agree. Not that I'm offended by his language or words...what do I care if that's his schtick? But it's just not FUNNY, period. And that's kinda the unpardonable offense for a comedian, wouldn't you agree?

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sunrain
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2006-04-28, 10:29

An example of Mencia's "work."
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Moogs
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2006-04-28, 12:20

I think you'll never get those minutes of your life back and should refrain from listening to the station that plays that kind of shit all together.
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Wrao
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2006-04-28, 12:28

It's actually an LL cool J song. He was lame back in the day, fell off the map and now he is trying to revitalize his image by releasing a comeback album littered with some big names and some smaller names also trying to comeback. Typically, I don't get offended by pop music, because, well, that's a waste of time, but I did give this track a listen and it is pretty terrible, many pop songs that come out have at least a good beat, the music in this track just annoys me.
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scratt
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2006-04-28, 12:31

Well I hate both of them.

J-Lo and LL cool J can go to hell!

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psmith2.0
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2006-04-28, 12:32

It's currency #8 at the iTMS Top Songs list.

Go to the section and read some of the reviews.

Either one star or five. No in-betweens! And the one-star comments are pretty funny, some of them.
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Moogs
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2006-04-28, 13:58

And the five stars are probably from people who will never listen to the song again, after six months have past. In general, billboard dance / bubblegum music isn't even worth reviewing. It all sucks and none of it will stand the test of time. Most of the people who perform it aren't even musicians. They don't write the music or lyrics, and they can't sing without a bunch of backup rhythm vocalists and thunder-bass. If they weren't aloud to do this year's version of the Janet Jackson Rhythm Nipple (I mean Nation) dance, nobody would even bother to attend their concerts. They're model/dancers first, singers second.

In essense, they're a joke.

...into the light of a dark black night.
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Brave Ulysses
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2006-04-28, 14:13

Quote:
Originally Posted by CFP
She was Janet Jackson's backing singer before she got her own deal. You can see her in the vid for 'That's The Way Love Goes'. It speaks volumes really. Silly bint should have stayed in the back where she belongs. Not that I find her irritating or anything
How does that matter?

Sheryl Crow was a backup singer for Michael Jackson.

In many cases, backup singers are better singers, hence why they are there
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Ryan
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2006-04-28, 20:11

So, since my generation doesn't listen to the same music for longer than a few months (weeks in some cases), what's going to be remembered as influential or groundbreaking 20, 30, or 40 years from now? We certainly don't have anything on the level of The Beatles or Led Zeppelin in mainstream music today. Is my generation just going to continue buying into the latest pop singer?

Any *good* music being produced today, IMO, is indie. There are a few exceptions, like the last Coldplay album or Dave Matthews Band, but other than that, it all frankly sucks. Perhaps I'm just not hooked into mainstream entertainment enough to know what's out there (I have never actually watched a single second of MTV), but from the songs I hear at movie theaters before the movie starts, dances, iTMS front page, it all seems very bland and repetitive.

In my age group, the music that we listen to that I consider good is a lot of the stuff our *parents* grew up on. Jimi Hendrix, The Doors, The Who, Pink Floyd.

Perhaps we've just hit a dry period in music history?
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Wrao
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2006-04-28, 20:45

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ryan
Perhaps we've just hit a dry period in music history?
Nah, it's just that what is popular doesn't resonate with you. Not all popular music is inherently bad, but you have to look at it relative to itself and not the music of the past.

There is a very distinct difference between music from the 50s-70s and music from the 80s till now.

Computers.

For some, the inclusion of a computer at any stage in the sound making process in some way detracts from the music, and even if the song is compositionally and lyrically brilliant, if it is all made with fake drums synths and hooks or worse, if the story is told in rap and not singsong, it is immediately alienating to some people, and they won't see passed the virtues simply because it doesn't fit their conception of what music is supposed to be.

(note: that's just one example)

There are plenty of great songwriters out there today, and just because they are not making double platinum albums doesn't mean that we're in a musical dry spell at all. It's just that, what is viewed by the mainstream as great and what you think is great doesn't always converge.

So, I have a soft spot for dixieland jazz, you're not likely to find *any* dixieland jazz today, anywhere, it's a pretty dead genre, but once upon a time, it was the mainstream, does that mean that the musical climate today is dry? yea, it's dry of dixieland jazz, but that's just one type of music amongst many, and it is unfair to say that a deficiency in dixieland jazz has any correlation to a deficiency in modern musical aptitude or songwriting 'timelessness'.

So, you like 'classic rock', something about music from that period resonates with you. That sound is not the mainstream today, but that doesn't indicate a deficiency in songwriting today, it just means that people aren't making the 'classic rock' sound anymore, and if they are, you have to look to find them, just as I would have to look to find a hot dixieland jazz band.

Does that make any sense?
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