[scratt]

A friend of mine had a fairly minor problem with their web site and we decided to test the response of their hosting companies 24 hour response to problems... They had previously been suspicious that the people they are actually talking to are not in the US and are in some part of outer-Mongolia... What do you guys think...

First the blurb...

Tired of waiting for hours for a reply to your request? Talk to a live person, get the answer to your question and the solution to your problem immediately - use our live chat. We are available 24 hours a day and 365 days a year. Feel free to contact us live via our online chat program at any time. Our highly experienced, friendly staff is ready to assist you with their knowledge and skills.

Now the reality...

Please bear in mind we had already been promised a 1 (maximum 2 hour) period to copy this backup file into our live site...

Please wait for a site operator to respond. You are now chatting with 'Harish Chary' Harish Chary: Hello, this is Harish, How may I help you? you: Hello Harish, I was online over 2 hours ago and am trying to get an sql backup replaced on my site. I was told under 2 hours if I sent a ticket. This is now costing us business... So can I get some idea of timescale please.. Harish Chary: The response to your trouble ticket is just about few hours and sometimes more depending on the seriousness of the issue. Harish Chary: As your issue is regarding the database and it is needed to be done by our admin's, this would take some more time. Harish Chary: I request you to kindly wait for sometime more to get it resolved. you: It's very simple, as it is simply copying yesterdays backup into the current database. I was guaranteed under 2 hours and I expect that to be honoured. you: The ticekt has been received and has been forwarded to your 'admin' over 2 hours ago. I think I have been patient enough. Harish Chary: I am sorry for the delay, it is only possible to do this by our admin's and I kindly request you to cooperate on this issue. you: I have cooperated. I was TOLD 2 HOURS GUARANTEED. If I had known it would be longer I would have looked at other solutions. Harish Chary: Our admin's have very hectice schedule with lots of works and will get back to your issue shortly. you: What I need is to be given a realistic timescale and not to be told to wait indefinitely whilst my customers cannot access my store correctly... I think it is more than reasonable for you to be able to give me a timescale by speaking directly to one of your 'admins'. Based on what I have seen so far this could be anytime in the next day or so as noone can give me a straight answer? Are you not in the same company as each other? Harish Chary: Please give some more time to get this done. you: Why should I accept 'give us more time' without a quantifiable answer. Also why have I been told 2 hours when that is not the case? Harish Chary: We are in the same company and our admin's are presently working on your issue. you: Well then bearing in mind it is extracting and then copying an 8MB file surely it should be done in a timely fashion? Can I please have a firm guarantee that this will be done in the next 10 - 15 minutes.... Harish Chary: I can give you the time frame once your ticket is replied. Harish Chary: As you can find this issue has been forwarded to our admin's and will get back to you once it is done. you: Can you explain what 'once your ticket is replied' means? You told me the admins are working on this now..... You seem to be contradicting yourself.. What is actually going on please? you: Have you actually verifed that their is someone working on this problem right now, or is that a scripted response? (Bear in mind I am recording this conversation and will be using it in a complaint).... Harish Chary: The admin's will reply to your ticket once it is done. Harish Chary: We will be able to answer once we get reply from our admin's. you: You are not answering my question. Do you know what is going on, or are you giving me standard responses? you: You have stated you are in the same company, can you not ask them please? Now? THen tell me? Harish Chary: I am sorry for the delay. Please note that the database request time is 24 hrs. Harish Chary: I request you to wait for this time to get it done. you: Then why was I told 2 hours, and why are you avoiding answering my questions? Harish Chary: The 2 Hrs response time is for normal issues and not related to database. you: I was told 2 hours and we were discussing databases. There was no confusion. you: Can you please ask an admin how long this will take. Perhaps the same admin you told me was working on my problem right now earlier in this conversation? Harish Chary: As the response time is 24 Hrs for any database issues, I can only provide that it will be done in less than this time. you: Can you please ask an admin how long this will take. Perhaps the same admin you told me was working on my problem right now earlier in this conversation? Harish Chary: I am sorry that I can not provide you the exact time frame, but you will be replied to your email once it is done. Harish Chary: We have already forwarded your issue to admin's as soon as we received your ticket. you: Harish Chary said "We are in the same company and our admin's are presently working on your issue." - Can you confirm or deny if this is a true statement or not, please? Harish Chary: We are in the same company, but our location is not at the servers. you: "...our admin's are presently working on your issue." - Can you confirm or deny if this is a true statement or not, please? Harish Chary: The servers are not located away from us, and we can only contact our admin's by tickets. you: Have you had any kind of response from your 'admins'? you: "...our admin's are presently working on your issue." - Can you confirm or deny if this is a true statement or not, please? Harish Chary: As you can find the status of your ticket as On-Hold, this is that they are working it. you: So you really have no idea if they are working on it or not, right? On-Hold could mean anything. Please confirm to me that they are working on it, or at least tell me the truth that you have no idea, and all you have done is forward a message.... Harish Chary: As I told you, the time frame for database issues is 24 Hrs, please give us sometime to get it fixed. you: Are you able to answer my quesitons or will you keep avoiding them? Harish Chary: Please give some time to get your issue resolved, You can find the status as they are working on it. you: Are you able to answer my quesitons or will you keep avoiding them? Harish Chary: I am able to answer your queries, and told that our admin's are aware of this issue and they are working on it. you: No. You told me this... "...our admin's are presently working on your issue." - Can you confirm or deny if this is a true statement or not, please? Harish Chary: Please let me know, how can I confirm the things? you: I simply want a statement from you telling me that you know 100% that right now this minute an admin is working on my problem, and that you are not just telling me that as part of a standard response because you have simply forwarded a ticket to someones inbox... Harish Chary: I have given you the status of your ticket and our admin's are working on it, as you can find the status. you: I simply want a statement from you telling me that you know 100% that right now this minute an admin is working on my problem, and that you are not just telling me that as part of a standard response because you have simply forwarded a ticket to someones inbox... Harish Chary: Please give some time to get your issue resolved. you: I simply want a statement from you telling me that you know 100% that right now this minute an admin is working on my problem, and that you are not just telling me that as part of a standard response because you have simply forwarded a ticket to someones inbox... Harish Chary: Please give some time to get your issue resolved. you: I am concerned that you are not providing the service that you say you are.... Harish Chary: As I told you, the ticket time is 24 hrs and you can get back to us if it is not resolved. you: Thank you Harish. Your (repetative) responses have been very illuminating.. Harish Chary: You are welcome Harish Chary: Should have any further questions, please feel free to contact us at anytime, we are available 24/7 you: Good luck. Harish Chary: Should have any further questions, please feel free to contact us at anytime, we are available 24/7

[Bryson]

They look something like automated replies to me: More like a pretty good chatbot than a human. Or certainly a human whose English is a bit limited, and sticks strictly to a script.

[scratt]

It entertained me for a while talking to 'it'....

It did get boring pretty quick though. I also had to rememebr it's my friends account, as I really wanted to get abusive once or twice, not just mildly sarcastic!

[curiousuburb]

You could always revert to:

"You're in a desert walking along in the sand when all of a sudden you look down...and you see a database, it's crawling toward you...the database lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over but it can't, not without your help, but you're not helping."

"Describe in single words, only the good things that come into your mind about: your mother"

[scratt]

Now that's funny! I might just go back and try again....

[digitalprimate]

Your not-so-helpful-desk has most probably been outsourced to India. I saw this documentary about it. It's a lot cheaper for that company.

[Mugge]

What a grand display of patience, I wouldn't have managed to get halfway through that conversation, before cancelling my whatever with those f***stains.

Originally Posted by Bryson They look something like automated replies to me: More like a pretty good chatbot than a human. Or certainly a human whose English is a bit limited, and sticks strictly to a script.

Wouldn't a bot at least use proper grammar?

Originally Posted by digitalprimate Your not-so-helpful-desk has most probably been outsourced to India. I saw this documentary about it. It's a lot cheaper for that company.

That's probably it

[kretara]

I had a similar problem with Orbitz.com

I booked a flight with them and they somehow LOST it. After spending 20 minutes on hold I got to talk to someone who said that we should rebook and that our credit card had not been charged.

Fast forward 3 weeks. I get a CC statement and I am charged for both flights. I call orbitz, wait on hold for 30 minutes, talk to some girl who says that she will take care of it -- only if I stay on hold. I say fine. I'm on occasional hold for almost 2 hours while she is trying to 'fix' the issue and refund my money. By hour 3 I am really angry. I ask her where she is located, she is in the Philippines. I ask to speak to a supervisor. She trys to contact them (in the U.S.), but no one will answer the phones. I ask her to please fix the issue and then contact me. She says that as soon as she hangs up with me she has to stop working on my issue. Basically, I got nothing but a run-a-round from orbitz.
I finally told her that I was filing a fraud report with the FBI and was going to dispute the charge with my CC company. This finally got action. She said that it would take 10+ days to issue a refund. Its now day 14 and no refund. I'm going to follow scratt's advice and file a fraud report with the FBI then talk with the BBB and my CC company.

I just hate these phone dis-service people.

[rasmits]

Originally Posted by kretara I had a similar problem with Orbitz.com

You aren't the only one, Orbitz has horrible customer service.

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse....u=orbitz_blows

[*Joe*]

Sometimes I feel really sorry for the people working in these outsourced call centres. I watched a documentry about it a while ago. Specifically in India, many of the people are over-qualified for this type of job. They work long hours, no minimum wage, no minimum working conditions, and they are constrained with the language barrier. It is a massively stressfull job, and they actually have very little power to help. There is no job security, even the smallest slip-up and they are fired, because the companies know that there are queues of people waiting to fill the vacancies.

[rasmits]

*Joe*
That's horrible...

[World Leader Pretend]

I one got to a Level 3 specialist on Apple Care (oh yeah!) and it was a real person named Dave. He carried on a conversation and said things like: "I'm doing all i can for you man, hang on will you?" and "you know any hot chicks?"

Harish Chary is a strange name...

[scratt]

Originally Posted by kretara She says that as soon as she hangs up with me she has to stop working on my issue.

I wonder if there is more to that than meets the eye... I really got the feeling 'Harish' was quite happy to carry on the conversation all day. Normally if you get even slightly sarcastic with a UK or US based telesales person you'll get warned and hung up on, or told that 'your behaviour is rude or unnacceptable' and that 'they will terminate the call' if you persist. Always reminds me of that scene in 'Anger Management'. "CALM DOWN SIR!", "I am calm", "I SAID CALM DOWN".... Hilarious! I wonder if they are paid based on the amount of time they are on the phone, rather than based on problem resolution?

Originally Posted by kretara I finally told her that I was filing a fraud report with the FBI and was going to dispute the charge with my CC company. This finally got action. She said that it would take 10+ days to issue a refund. Its now day 14 and no refund. I'm going to follow scratt's advice and file a fraud report with the FBI then talk with the BBB and my CC company.

Do it, buddy. I don't even threaten any more. It's said once, I hang up, or end my email and then make that call....
Works like a charm. What's sad is that we have to resort to those sorts of tactics to get anything done these days... Pretty soon I am sure they will clamp down on that one and have some rule about wasting the FBIs time, or not following a reasonable chain of complaint... I do know that the Financial Ombudsmen used to be great in the UK if you had a problem with your bank... I would call them, complain and get results... Now the banks have paid someone off somewhere I guess, because the Financial Ombudsmen will not act unless the bank and you agree that you have exhausted the bank's own internal complaints procedure.... Now that's hilarious because it means they have to have done something and responded to your complaint... So all they have to do is ignore you for a while in the hopes you go away and you have to sit it out and wait until it's got ridiculous and then try and make a case with the Financial Ombudsmen that the bank indeed messing you around....

"CALM DOWN SIR!", "I am calm, it's just the bank is ignoring me...", "I SAID CALM DOWN".... BzzZZzzzZZzz!

[atomicbartbeans]

Originally Posted by World Leader Pretend I one got to a Level 3 specialist on Apple Care (oh yeah!) and it was a real person named Dave. He carried on a conversation and said things like: "I'm doing all i can for you man, hang on will you?" and "you know any hot chicks?"

Yeah, AppleCare reps are awesome, in addition to being well-versed in the english language.

[scratt]

Originally Posted by atomicbartbeans ...in addition to being well-versed in the english language.

Why bother with English when you are dealing with English speaking people.. Make the whole process fun. Talk with a funny accent and use words people have never heard of before.. Otherwise troubleshooting would be too easy!

I guess it's just a way of getting us back for going to foreign countries and not knowing a single local word and repeating what we want in English louder and LOUDER UNTIL THEY ARREST US!