[kieran]

@Robo: I usually only use the RT button if I don't want to add my commentary to the tweet. If I do, I'll use the "original" style of RT-ing.

Most of the time, I'll feel the need to add a few words to a RT, and not just RT the original tweet.

[Robo]

Yeah, like, if you are going to add actual commentary, that's one thing. But the example I linked to..."SMH," as the kids say on the Twitters.

[Robo]

Dear up&up allergy medicine that says "do not take more than once every 24 hours" but only works for like 18:

Fuck you. That's what I get, for buying you at Target.

[Brad]

Originally Posted by Robo Dear up&up allergy medicine that says "do not take more than once every 24 hours" but only works for like 18:

Which kind? Fexofenadine? Loratadine? Cetirizine? If one isn't effective, try another for a while. I've tried them all at some point. Cetirizine HCl (generic Zyrtec) is the only one that seems to help me today, and even it is by far not a miracle drug for me.

This one probably isn't Target's fault. Pretty much all generic allergy drugs of a given type are chemically identical.

[Robo]

It's loratadine.

It's just, ugh. I should go see an allergist, but...it's pretty hard for me to get around, allergies or no. Hell, injuries or no. I have nothing that I can make go.

[Capella]

Originally Posted by Brad Pretty much all generic allergy drugs of a given type are chemically identical.

Semi-related wail: why the hell is lactose an inactive ingredient in pretty much every drug ever? I cringe when I see generic Claritin 24 for $6 or something, and 10 Claritin gelcaps- which are the only ones without allergenics in them- are like $15. So not fair.

[Robo]

Dear Michael Chabon,

Please don't title your upcoming adult non-genre slice-of-life relationship-y novel Telegraph Avenue.

Signed,

Someone who is also working on an adult non-genre slice-of-life relationship-y novel with a title that ends in "Avenue"

And also your biggest fan <3 <3

[BenP]

Originally Posted by Capella Semi-related wail: why the hell is lactose an inactive ingredient in pretty much every drug ever? I cringe when I see generic Claritin 24 for $6 or something, and 10 Claritin gelcaps- which are the only ones without allergenics in them- are like $15. So not fair.

Also somewhat off-topic, but I had a gorgeous rash around my mouth for two weeks thanks to the dairy in the non-gel Claritin, which I didn't know about.

[billybobsky]

Originally Posted by Capella Semi-related wail: why the hell is lactose an inactive ingredient in pretty much every drug ever? I cringe when I see generic Claritin 24 for $6 or something, and 10 Claritin gelcaps- which are the only ones without allergenics in them- are like $15. So not fair.

Just to be sure: no one is allergic to lactose. They are allergic to milk proteins that come along with the lactose...

[Capella]

Originally Posted by BenP Also somewhat off-topic, but I had a gorgeous rash around my mouth for two weeks thanks to the dairy in the non-gel Claritin, which I didn't know about.

I've had to talk to my pharmacy to only get me one brand of a generic of a med I'm on, because there's apparently a few generic provides but only 1 of them has nothing irritating in it. It's probably a pain in the ass for them to have to make absolutely sure which one they've got before giving it to me, but my system's super hair-trigger like that and I can really cheat with only one poison pill a day.

Bonus hilarity; you know on female BC pills? The placebo week of "sugar pills"? Two guesses what the sugar is... *doesn't take them anymore*

Originally Posted by billybobsky Just to be sure: no one is allergic to lactose. They are allergic to milk proteins that come along with the lactose...

I react by vomiting for hours if fed either lactose or casein, and the casein gives me a surface rash, so even if I'm technically only allergic to one half of it, any dairy product should not be allowed anywhere near me (or to touch anything I'm s'posed to eat, thank you campus food people who don't clean giant globs of cheese off the damned grill, and NO picking it off the sandwich before you hand it to me does not count...) What would be the proper term for having responses to both lactose and casein?

(Also, while I'm wondering, how the hell can non-dairy creamer be called non-dairy creamer, but still have a dairy protein in it? Shouldn't it just be called a lactose-free creamer to make the distinction a little more obvious?)

[billybobsky]

Originally Posted by Capella I react by vomiting for hours if fed either lactose or casein, and the casein gives me a surface rash, so even if I'm technically only allergic to one half of it, any dairy product should not be allowed anywhere near me (or to touch anything I'm s'posed to eat, thank you campus food people who don't clean giant globs of cheese off the damned grill, and NO picking it off the sandwich before you hand it to me does not count...) What would be the proper term for having responses to both lactose and casein?

Well, vomiting isn't necessarily a sign of an allergy to lactose -- lactose intolerance can result in nausea and vomiting. It is also possible that whatever the source of the lactose you had wasn't completely free of dairy proteins. The reason there are no known lactose allergies is that simple natural sugars, like lactose, are generally not large enough to illicit an immune response (too small for antibodies to recognize alone) AND are not likely to modify human proteins, causing an immune response against the modified protein.

I would believe that you are severely allergic to casein and most preparation of lactose are not casein free...

[Ebby]

Dear Administration.

Very ingenious plan to make me look bad on record. By using identical terms to describe similar, confusing polices, I am at a loss to defend myself form your changing demands. I am stuck, portrayed as an ignorant disgruntled costumer, while you waste time splitting hairs over technical terms your complicated system. Fact is, you screwed up big time, caused me damage, then charged me almost $1,500 to fix your mistake. I don't care if your interpretation of company policy "X" means one thing when applied to my situation but another if applied differently.

I am stuck behind a firewall of recursive corporate bullshit meanwhile you are completely ignoring the fact you are in breach of contract AND exhibiting fraudulent business practices. Stop nitpicking semantics and admit responsibility!

-Pissed

[Capella]

Quick one (and apologies for my twitter followers who are sick of this now):

Dear Wildfires,

No. Bad. Stop blanketing my town in smoke and causing ash to fall. Also, please don't get bigger and please don't cause an entire county evacuation again. I did this shit in '98 and it was the most horrifying week of my life.

-Cap

[BenP]

Originally Posted by billybobsky Just to be sure: no one is allergic to lactose. They are allergic to milk proteins that come along with the lactose...

Yes, I’m allergic to the protein. Most people don’t know the distinction so I don’t bother to make it.

[billybobsky]

And people say science education is overrated.

[Robo]

Originally Posted by billybobsky And people say science education is overrated.

Meh. I think social graces are more valuable.

[Xaqtly]

[Robo]

I'm sort of surprised Pixar is going with a Monsters, Inc. prequel nobody asked for instead of an Incredibles 2 that is wanted by the entire Internet. I mean, it's not like they're still selling billions of dollars of merch for either property. And The Incredibles is four years newer.

[Capella]

Dear Dickwads in Waiting Rooms,

This is a fucking waiting room. We are all here waiting to take home our post-operative relative or friend. We are not here so that you can come in and sit down and start bitching very loudly about how waiting rooms only have sports magazines and why aren't there other tjings to read? You seem to understand the concept that people in waiting rooms want to read, so have a cookie for figuring that out. But please don't talk so loudly that I can hear you all the way across the room, because I was smart enough to bring some fucking reading material and I would like to have the peace and quiet to use it without hearing your strident drawl, which sounds like it should be an oxymoron but it wasn't in your case, echoing around the room. You're lucky I'm more scared of my gran than pissed at you because if I had been there on my own I would have called you a loudmouthed lardassed cigarrette-smelling cuntbag and told you to shut up and I wouldn't have cared if the office staff then threw me out in the rain brcause you were that. fucking. annoying. As it stood I settled for just staring at you and growling under my breath like a dog You are why some people think all women are loud obnoxious fuckfaces.

Ready to rip someione's head off even an hour later,

Cap

[Robo]

Dear Men Who Visit This Restaurant,

This restaurant has a restroom. It is small, and there are not multiple stalls. As such, like every single-stall restroom I have ever seen, the door of this restroom features an indicator as to whether or not the restroom is "vacant" or "occupied."

This is undoubtedly a clever and useful invention, but it is not a new one. To the men of this restaurant, however, it must be a novelty, strange and unfamiliar, and you must be unsure how to operate it yet.

Allow me to explain. If the indicator reads "Vacant," the restroom is vacant, and if the indicator reads "Occupied," the restroom is, indeed, occupied. If you can not read English, the indicators are color-coded, red for "stop" and green for "go."

You may be embarrassed that you have never noticed the giant, brightly-colored indicator, but I can assure you that you are not alone. Seemingly no men who visit this restaurant use it, preferring instead to try turning the handle, and then, upon realizing to their surprise that the door will not open, turn the handle harder, and then repeatedly try to force the door open, until the person inside informs them that "It's occupied, dumbass."

Sometimes people try the handle and then knock. ASIDE: I have no idea what I'm expected to say when someone knocks on the door of a single-stall restroom. "Hello"? "I'm in here?" That's sort of a weird thing to say, right? It's not often that you're asked to assert your existence. Is the person inquiring as to whether the restroom is, in fact, occupied? Do they think a ghost locked the door? Are they trying to passive-aggressively tell me they are waiting? Do they want me to let them in?

ASIDE ASIDE: I was using the restroom earlier (is that too much information? Is it any information at all? Surely you were not under the impression that I had never used the restroom before?) and immediately after I locked the door, somebody knocked. It would have been one thing if the restroom had been occupied for an unusually long time, and he was inquiring as to my well-being, or telling me to stop shooting up and/or dying of a heart attack so he could use the facilities. But this guy must have seen me enter the restroom, as he knocked just after I locked the door. I don't know what he was trying to say. "Just so you know in advance, I expect you to accelerate your shitting, because I'm waiting"? If he was a politician he should be aware that it's a code of foot taps, not door knocks. Anyway, I wasn't at a loss for words this time.

ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED
Set new swear density record!

END NESTED ASIDES

Anyway, now you know how to correctly operate a bathroom door. I can't promise that this knowledge make you rich or get you dates, but at least you won't waste time trying break down a restroom door because you can't fucking read!

-Robo

HUMOR ALERT: THE ABOVE POST WAS NOT GRAVELY SERIOUS

[Capella]

Dear Whitebook,

You are the most annoying Apple computer I have ever owned. 1.) This is the second time your bottom rubber has spontaneously exploded off of the laptop. and 2.) You appear to have a magical ability to eat any charger I attach to you. I am convinced that you have been voodoo-cursed, because there is no reason for you to keep repeating these fails. Please stop screwing around and behave nicely.

No love, Irritated Cap



Bonus:

Dear Universe,

Please have an 11" MBA magically appear in my campus mailbox.

Wishful Cap

[psmith2.0]

Dear Everyone,

Use your $#^%#!^& turn signals.

How hard is this?!?

Exasperated beyond belief,
Paul

[adamb]

Originally Posted by pscates2.0 Dear Everyone, Use your $#^%#!^& turn signals. How hard is this?!? Exasperated beyond belief, Paul

x 1,000,000

[Robo]

I don't understand how people can get a driver's license, and drive, and not have it become an automatic reflex, like putting on your seat belt (and yes I know there's people who don't do that either). I think it would actually take more mental effort for me not to do it. Like, if you told me "your turn signal is wired to a bomb and will explode if you use it!" I'd probably still accidentally use it at like the second corner. It would just be so weird to not use it!

Can I rant about my mom's driving for a second? OK.

RANT FOLLOWS. Toggle if you like reading about bad driving and financial incompetence.

I'm sure everybody thinks their mother is the worst driver ever, but my mom totally is. Like, she recently got a ticket for not wearing a seat belt, which is the stupidest thing you can ever get a ticket for, and then of course she became a total Libertarian about it, about how it was her god-given right to be stupid and how she wasn't hurting anybody but herself, which I guess is sort of true*, and if she wanted to die in a car wreck that was totally her business, rah rah rah, and then I'm like "so do you want to die in a car wreck?" and then she doesn't say anything, which is weird, and sort of awesome. Anyway, she wears her seatbelt now, so the police officer — infringing her right to be stupid or no — very possibly saved her life, but hating people who save her life is sort of a pattern with my mom (see: doctors!). Anyway, I know you'll all think I'm biased, but my mom freaks the fuck out re: motorcycles. Like, she can't drive behind them. She just can't. But she doesn't realize this, so she'll drive really close behind them, and then she'll get nervous and give them some more space, and then she'll get really close behind them again for some reason, and then she'll freak out and decide that she just can't handle it and veer into the next lane without signaling, or looking. Last time she very nearly smashed into a blue Honda Fit; if that was any of you I apologize. She's like this with homeless people, too. Oh, is that a guy with a sign on the corner? Suddenly veer into the next lane even though there's lots of cars there since we're approaching a stop light! Do not use turn signal, do not collect $200. Anyway, she has night blindness, and she always says that she's not going to drive at night in the rain, but then she does, even though she knows that she can't, you know, see. Last time she almost hit a guy crossing a parking lot, and she would have if I hadn't shouted "Mom!" I'm not entirely sure if this was due to her night blindness, though, because the other day she almost turned right into a pedestrian walking across the intersection and she would have hit her if I hadn't shouted "Mom!' It was a brilliantly clear afternoon, and the pedestrian was a very large woman wearing a bright pink shirt; I'm not sure how my mom didn't see her. Oh, and if we stop her from running over someone, she gets mad at us. Especially if my sister does it. And heaven help you if she's ever mad or having an argument while driving — she just totally loses control, even compared to everything I've already listed. She, uh, really shouldn't be driving! But I don't know what to do, other than always run her errands for her so that she drives as little as possible. Her car will probably break down again soon. I hope it does. Nested mini-rant about my mom and cars: My mom's car is twenty years old and has 300,000 miles, and with my mom's driving they haven't been "easy" miles. My mom is always either accelerating or breaking. Like, literally. She doesn't realize that the car will keep going without her foot on the accelerator. She accelerates toward red lights. Anyway, her car is thus not worth very much, and has lots of problems. But rather than saving for a different car, which would take planning and discipline, she constantly pours money into her worthless one. She's been continually in "car crisis" mode for the last two years. My brother correctly told her that rather than spend hundreds of dollars every few months on a car that will only break down again, she should save up and get a different car, but my mother told him, completely unironically, that she doesn't have the money for that. She has no plan whatsoever for what to do when her car eventually gives up the ghost; I've asked her about it over the years and her answer is always "it better not!" which is, of course, not really a plan at all. But she literally thinks that hoping that her car will last will make it so. The other day she said she was confident in her car, despite all evidence to the contrary, because it had 300,000 miles and was twenty years old and had lots of the original parts. I want to explain something, here. She wasn't being ironic. Rather than the age and mileage of her car meaning that it has 300,000 miles' and twenty years' worth of wear on twenty-year-old parts, she believes this means that it has proven itself to be a good car that will last the foreseeable future without issue. What's another 300,000 miles? Apparently, once a car reaches a certain mileage, it proves that it will last forever. Oh, and she doesn't know what an auto loan is. Again, I want to stress that I am not merely saying that she is unaware of the pros and cons of auto loans, or what a reasonable rate for someone in her shoes would be, or where the best place to get an auto loan is. I am saying that she had literally never heard of auto loans until I mentioned them the other day. She believes most people put a car on their credit card. She has done this before. *) Ignoring that anyone who she smacked into would have the right to sue her for damages, which they couldn't do if she was dead. Or anybody she hit if her body was ejected through the windshield!

Offtopic boxes always make rants look bigger.

[Dorian Gray]

Originally Posted by Robo ...my mom freaks the fuck out re: motorcycles. Like, she can't drive behind them. She just can't. But she doesn't realize this, so she'll drive really close behind them, and then she'll get nervous and give them some more space, and then she'll get really close behind them again for some reason, and then she'll freak out and decide that she just can't handle it and veer into the next lane without signaling, or looking.

As a Vespa rider, I've noticed people do this to me every time I get on a fast (e.g. 50+ mph) road. It's not just your mum. I've therefore given it some thought. It seems that I vary my speed a lot, and so do other motorcyclists and scooterists. This is a consequence of the physics of riding a light and very un-aerodynamic vehicle at high speed. If I reduce power a bit for one reason or another, the speed decays much quicker on my Vespa than in a car, because I weigh one-fifth of a car but have more than half as much aerodynamic drag.

The car behind me, meanwhile, is relatively heavy and aerodynamic, so variations in power (from accelerator pedal adjustments) are smoothed out.

Since realising this, I've made a conscious effort to keep my speed even on fast roads, by paying close attention to the speedometer when I adjust my position on the scooter. And sure enough, cars tend to stay at a more predictable distance behind me (there are still many exceptions, since this is France, after all).

[Majost]

I think it's also that people simply aren't used to judging space behind motorcycles. I know I use cues from the bumper and rear tires on cars to help determine my distance (like how far underneath a car I can see, based on my angle). Those cues simply aren't there (or are very different) on motorcycles. I recognize this and adjust. I think many are oblivious to how things like that affect our perception.

[Robo]

Originally Posted by Dorian Gray As a Vespa rider, I've noticed people do this to me every time I get on a fast (e.g. 50+ mph) road. It's not just your mum. I've therefore given it some thought. It seems that I vary my speed a lot, and so do other motorcyclists and scooterists. This is a consequence of the physics of riding a light and very un-aerodynamic vehicle at high speed. If I reduce power a bit for one reason or another, the speed decays much quicker on my Vespa than in a car, because I weigh one-fifth of a car but have more than half as much aerodynamic drag. The car behind me, meanwhile, is relatively heavy and aerodynamic, so variations in power (from accelerator pedal adjustments) are smoothed out. Since realising this, I've made a conscious effort to keep my speed even on fast roads, by paying close attention to the speedometer when I adjust my position on the scooter. And sure enough, cars tend to stay at a more predictable distance behind me (there are still many exceptions, since this is France, after all).

I get that that's part of it, but my mom does this tailgate/back off/tailgate cycle with cars, too. She's basically just not ever in control of her driving; it's all totally driven (ha!) by what mood she is in, and her moods swing wildly from one minute to the next.

I probably could have stopped by just saying that she's just not ever in control of herself. But that's depressing!

Originally Posted by Majost I think it's also that people simply aren't used to judging space behind motorcycles. I know I use cues from the bumper and rear tires on cars to help determine my distance (like how far underneath a car I can see, based on my angle). Those cues simply aren't there (or are very different) on motorcycles. I recognize this and adjust. I think many are oblivious to how things like that affect our perception.

When you learn to ride a bike the first thing anyone tells you is that drivers will always think that you're farther away than you are, simply because you're smaller and car drivers expect everything to be car-sized; thus a smaller vehicle subconsciously registers as not "motorcycle" but "distant car," even if the driver can see that it's a motorcycle. The other day my mom was waiting to perform a turn-across-traffic maneuver and she said "I suppose I could have gone in front of that motorcycle" and I told her point blank "No, you couldn't have."

I didn't include this in my list of grievances because it's an error in judgement that even many observant car drivers subconsciously make, and it was unrelated to my general thesis of her being an unobservant, irresponsible driver.

[709]

Dear Notch,

Fuck you. No, seriously. Fuck you.

I hope that you never find a hat that fits again in your life.

- G

[Robo]

(I try not to repeat myself, but I guess this tweet fits the spirit of the thread)

Dear media:

"Open source" is not, itself, an advantage. It's a business decision. If it leads to actual advantages for users, list *those.*

Love,
Robo

[Ryan]

Dear fellow customer,



I hate you.