[InactionMan]

Ever had an inane question that needed answering but didn't have your Magic 8 Ball handy? What about more pressing questions about life that are simply too grand for tea leaves? Maybe your terrified of Tarot Cards. Thanks to the Good Book all your questions can easily be answered no matter the width or breadth!

To get started, grab your Bible and think of a question. Now close your eyes, flip to a page and point to a passage. With a little interpretation, all your questions will be answered.

Let's Try!

Will AI.org flourish and become the most loved Mac site in all the lands?

...and his sons cast them out from serving as priests to the Lord, and he appointed his own priests for the high places...They strengthened the Kingdom...(Chronicles 2:11:13)

How about that? Kinda fitting given the whole split from .com and whatnot. It looks like we're going to be okay.

Now let's see if we can peer into the future of our favourite computer company...
Will Steve Jobs deliver on his promise to have a 3Ghz PowerMac for this years WWDC?

Your eyes will see the king in his beauty; they will behold a land that stretches afar. (Isaiah 33:17)

I'll take that as a resounding "yes"! But what about the G5 iMac?

As soon as they saw it, they were astounded, they were in panic, they took to flight; (Psalms 48:5)

Huh. This could be construed as either very good or very bad. Drat.

And lastly, a more personal question. Does Bible Dipping guarantee me a spot in Hell's hot fires?

...he is a murderer; the murderer shall be put to death. The avenger of blood shall himself put the murderer to death...(Numbers 35:16)

Crap. That doesn't seem like a very positive response. Anyone else want to have a go at it? What questions to you have that need a good Bible Dipping?

[DMBand0026]

How long did it take you to find all those verses?

Good read.

Let's hope it's right, the Bible hasn't failed me yet!

[InactionMan]

Originally Posted by DMBand0026 How long did it take you to find all those verses? Good read. Let's hope it's right, the Bible hasn't failed me yet!

It really only took a minute to get the passages. It was completely random. Hell, this was the first time I picked up the Bible since I studied creation myths in University.

Bible Dipping really does provide the answers!

[Windswept]

Originally Posted by InactionMan Will AI.org flourish and become the most loved Mac site in all the lands?

...and his sons cast them out from serving as priests to the Lord, and he appointed his own priests for the high places...They strengthened the Kingdom...(Chronicles 2:11:13)

How about that? Kinda fitting given the whole split from .com and whatnot. It looks like we're going to be okay.

I think that Chronicles quote is amazing. And funny.

[thuh Freak]

shit.
q: "Will I become the most famous and rich freak in all the land?"
a: "Pomegranate, palm and apple -- all the trees of the field are dried up; surely, joy withers away among the people."
thats, i think, almost the most negative response i've ever gotten from an inanimate object.

q: "Will Macintosh ever overcome Windows in marketshare?"
a: "Moreover Uzziah had an army of soldiers, fit for war, in divisions according to the numbers in the muster made by the secretary Jeiel and of the officer Messiah, under the direction of Hananiah, one of the King's commanders."
there you have it fellas. there will be a great war between the OSes, though the ol' bible-o-meter was a bit sketchy on the outcome, atleast we'll have opportunity to bash some of the pc lusers.

q: "Is guinness the best beer, evar?"
a: "I said to myself, 'Come now, I will make a test of pleasure; enjoy your self.'"
that settles that

q: "What year will I die in, if I die?"
a: "You shall take the ram of ordination, boil its flesh in a holy place; and Aaron and his sons shall eat the flesh of the ram and the bread that is in the basket, at the entrance of the tent of the meeting. They themselves shall eat the food by which atonement is made, to ordain and consecrate them, but no one else shall eat of them, because they are holy. If any of the flesh for the ordination, or of the bread, remains until the morning, then you shall burn the remainder with fire; it shall not be eaten, because it is holy."
Yahweh seems to have avoided the question, so i guess that means i'm going to live forever.

q: "Is GWB going to start WW3?"
a: "This proposal pleased them, and some of the people eagerly went to the King, who authorized them to observe the ordinances of the Gentiles."
a bit ambiguous again. i think it means yes though, but strangely the people are eager. maybe that means that the anti-war sentiment isn't as popular as the pro-war. i better remember to find my voting shoes come november.

[staph]

Originally Posted by thuh Freak q: "Is guinness the best beer, evar?" a: "I said to myself, 'Come now, I will make a test of pleasure; enjoy your self.'" that settles that

At last! Conclusive proof that there is no God!

[stoo]

observe the ordinances

i.e. weapons inspection?