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Open Letters to People or Entities Who Are Unlikely to Respond
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tomoe
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Send a message via AIM to tomoe  
2010-07-11, 21:30

Dear Xiu Xiu,

Your free show today where all you played were covers from Joy Division's album 'Unknown Pleasures' gets two thumbs up. Also, the girl who plays keyboard is adorably cute.

cheers,
Satiated fan.


Dear organizers of aforementioned show,

Whose fucking insane idea was it to have one line to get wristbands for beer just so you would have to wait in a different line a hundred feet away to actually buy beer?

Love,
Person who refrained from beer.

Last edited by tomoe : 2010-07-11 at 21:57. Reason: IPhone
  quote
Robo
Formerly Roboman, still
awesome
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Cascadia
 
2010-07-13, 16:22

Dear Assholes,

Saying "no offense" after making an extremely offensive statement does not actually guarantee that there will be no offense. It is not like tag, where simply declaring yourself "not it" is enough to make it so.

Also, saying "no offense" can in and of itself cause offense, if it is hastily added to an otherwise inoffensive statement, in a way that implies that you think the offend-ee could/should have taken offense, when they actually didn't.

I'm not (believe it or not!) easily offended. I visit websites just to read the uproariously offensive things stupid people say, which is amusing (well, until you realize they vote). But somehow, those split seconds where close friends and family members slip up and reveal what they actually think -- under the guise of being "inoffensive," no less -- are way worse than anything on FSTDT. (Well, except for my family members on FSTDT.)



Robo

i won't let you hurt my planet / and i won't let you hurt my friends
  quote
Brad
Selfish Heathen
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Zone of Pain
 
2010-07-13, 18:22

Quote:
Originally Posted by Robo View Post
FSTDT
Off-topic (click to toggle):
Fundie Sinners That Don't Think?
Free Shows of Tango Dancing on Thursday?
Fart! Shit! Turd! Dookie! Tourette's?
Fanatics Supporting The Devil's Timetable?
Franklin! Stop That Drunken Tattooist?
Friends Sharing Titillating Discretionary Tales?
Food Scientists Transmogrifying Diabetic Triglycerides?
Ferocious Scab-Thrashing Diminutive Tigers?
Fortune Saves The Dumbest Trash?
Facts? Still, They Don't Trust?
French Soldiers Tricked by Dutch Terrorists?
Flutists Sweating, Timidly Discussing Tambourines?
Four Songs To Die To?
Favorite Star Trek DS9 Trill?
Fork Steak 'Til Done. Tasty?
Fighting Sugary Tooth Decay Today?
Funny Sarcasm Tricks Distract Teachers?
Financed Stocks Today Depreciate Tomorrow?
Fools Selling Tracts to Dissuade Thinking?

Off-topic (click to toggle):
/google

ooooh that.

I like mine better.

The quality of this board depends on the quality of the posts. The only way to guarantee thoughtful, informative discussion is to write thoughtful, informative posts. AppleNova is not a real-time chat forum. You have time to compose messages and edit them before and after posting.
  quote
Robo
Formerly Roboman, still
awesome
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Cascadia
 
2010-07-13, 19:03

OK, that was funny.

I'm partial to "Franklin, stop that drunken tattooist!" myself.

And yes, close family members of mine have actually been quoted on Fundies Say the Darndest Things. No, no links.

i won't let you hurt my planet / and i won't let you hurt my friends
  quote
Bryson
Rocket Surgeon
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Whitby
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2010-07-13, 20:25

Dear IT Department,

Thank you for blocking me from FSTDT.net Who knows what kind of depravity awaits there? (Not me, that's for sure!*)

Thanks

Bryson


* = Until I get home, obviously.
  quote
Bryson
Rocket Surgeon
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Whitby
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2010-07-13, 20:29

Dear IT Department, (again)

If it's that big a problem, you might want to see why I can access it on the wi-fi network, just not on the cabled network.

Or maybe it isn't offensive if you filter it through the air first?

Cheers

Bryson
  quote
pscates2.0
Mr. Farmiga
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2010-07-14, 12:07

Dear Bryson,

Do your work and quit worrying about some silly-ass website you shouldn't even be visiting while you're on my time.

Sincerely,
The Boss (and the IT Department)




  quote
Bryson
Rocket Surgeon
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Whitby
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2010-07-14, 14:16

Aha! But I am likely to respond!
  quote
Banana
is the next Chiquita
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
 
2010-07-14, 14:21

Dear The Powers That Be At Applenova,

The thread is entitled "Open Letters to People or Entities Who Are Unlikely to Respond".

Some letters has been responded to. Should those be moved out into a thread titled "Open Letters to People or Entities Who Responded"?

Thank you,

A Concerned Poster


  quote
billybobsky
BANNED
I am worthless beyond hope.
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Inner Swabia. If you have to ask twice, don't.
 
2010-07-14, 20:07

Dear Girl I Really Like and Want to Get to Know Better,

I opened up to you and you found your way outside of my front door the morning after. We had a nice conversation that ended abruptly, and since then you haven't sent or said one word to me. At the very least please tell me what you are thinking, please?

A confused guy...

Edit:

Dear Socially Awkward Girl Who Took Two Days to Tell Me You Are Sort of Dating Someone Else,

Thanks, for that. It needn't have taken so long. I wish you all the best.

PS. Why am I so attracted to women like you?

Last edited by billybobsky : 2010-07-15 at 18:50.
  quote
Robo
Formerly Roboman, still
awesome
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Cascadia
 
2010-07-15, 13:33

ATTN Musicians:

Tell Me Where It Hurts by Garbage is the perfect song. Yup, somebody made it already. So the rest of you can stop now. You should probably find new hobbies or something.



Robo

i won't let you hurt my planet / and i won't let you hurt my friends
  quote
Ryan
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Promise Land of Trustafarians
 
2010-07-15, 14:00

Dear computer science researchers across the globe:

Do not, repeat NOT, use Comic Sans to present technical material. Seriously, in this field you should be smart enough to understand LaTeX. Use that knowledge.

edit: I take that back. You appear to have written the presentation in LaTeX and then manually overridden the default Computer Modern font. WHY!
  quote
Robo
Formerly Roboman, still
awesome
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Cascadia
 
2010-07-15, 14:12

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ryan View Post
Dear computer science researchers across the globe:

Do not, repeat NOT, use Comic Sans to present technical material. Seriously, in this field you should be smart enough to understand LaTeX. Use that knowledge.
T,FTFY!

(It's thankfully impossible to use Comic Sans...MS on AppleNova. Try typing Comic Sans...MS without the ellipsis. )
  quote
BuonRotto
Not sayin', just sayin'
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Durham, NC
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2010-07-15, 16:24

Dear Bitch Who Is Trying to Get My Wife Fired,

I never met a certifiable ADHD *and* OCD patient rolled together like you before. You take the cake. I hope your boobs drop to your knees and stink bugs crawl out of your brown nose straight up the boss's anus and fall our his mouth (you're that far up there).
  quote
Majost
monkey with a tiny cymbal
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Lost
 
2010-07-15, 23:34

Dear Chicago Transit Authority,

I want to get home. It's a modest request, and it's something that you can usually handle. But I've been stuck in this infernal underground station for the past 40 minutes with 300 others. That little 4-car train you sent ten minutes ago? Yeah, it was already full. Perhaps a quarter of the folks here made it on.

I'm mad. I'm hot. And I'm tired. Do what I pay you to do, please?

Much obliged, Matt

PS: oh you have got to be fucking kidding me! You send my train on the wrong side of the platform? And don't give us a chance to get on? Infuriating.

PPS: Good god that took forever. My normal 20-30 minute (max) commute took 1 hour and 35 minutes. If I'd have known I would have _walked_ the 5 miles to my house in that time.

Last edited by Majost : 2010-07-16 at 00:14.
  quote
Kraetos
Lovable Bastard
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Boston-ish
 
2010-07-16, 18:48

Dear Senator Schumer:

As an elected representative, I would certainly hope you have better things to do with your time than to stoop to Gizmodo's level and grandstand about 'antennagate.'

Seriously, cut that shit out. I highly doubt your constituents voted for you so you could debate Steve Jobs over the finer points of antenna design.

-Kraetos

Sadly, being a technology pundit is truly never having to say you’re sorry. You can be wrong for years and never lose your job.—The Macalope
  quote
Brad
Selfish Heathen
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Zone of Pain
 
2010-07-16, 19:31

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kraetos View Post
As an elected representative, I would certainly hope you have better things to do with your time than to stoop to
You're kidding, right? Grandstanding and preaching half-truths to the masses, whether they need to hear them or not, is what most politicians do "best". This guy just guaranteed his seat for the next election.

The quality of this board depends on the quality of the posts. The only way to guarantee thoughtful, informative discussion is to write thoughtful, informative posts. AppleNova is not a real-time chat forum. You have time to compose messages and edit them before and after posting.
  quote
Robo
Formerly Roboman, still
awesome
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Cascadia
 
2010-07-16, 20:07

Dear wireless router manufacturers,

FOADIAF. I hate you all

Srsly, why are wireless routers so dumb? I consider myself a reasonably tech-savvy individual but they're still a pain in the ass to set up and even when you set them up they just randomly decide to stop working for no reason whatsoever. They're a gift from Satan to make us miserable

i won't let you hurt my planet / and i won't let you hurt my friends
  quote
Kraetos
Lovable Bastard
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Boston-ish
 
2010-07-16, 20:23

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad View Post
You're kidding, right? Grandstanding and preaching half-truths to the masses, whether they need to hear them or not, is what most politicians do "best". This guy just guaranteed his seat for the next election.
Yes, you're very correct, and I'm totally aware that he's doing it just to seem in touch with his voters, but for fucks sake. It's a phone. There are actual problems that need solving.

And yes, he is a class 3 senator, meaning he is up for reelection in November.

Sadly, being a technology pundit is truly never having to say you’re sorry. You can be wrong for years and never lose your job.—The Macalope
  quote
Kraetos
Lovable Bastard
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Boston-ish
 
2010-07-16, 20:27

Quote:
Originally Posted by Robo View Post
Dear wireless router manufacturers,

FOADIAF. I hate you all
AirPort. The AirPort utility is amazingly straightforward.
  quote
Robo
Formerly Roboman, still
awesome
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Cascadia
 
2010-07-16, 20:36

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kraetos View Post
AirPort. The AirPort utility is amazingly straightforward.
I don't have $180
  quote
pscates2.0
Mr. Farmiga
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2010-07-17, 07:47

Do you have $69?
  quote
Maciej
M AH - ch ain saw
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2010-07-17, 09:31

Quote:
Originally Posted by pscates2.0 View Post
And a lack of devices that need to be plugged in by Ethernet? That's my problem with my express.
  quote
turtle
Lord of the Rant.
Formerly turtle2472
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Tidewater Virginia
 
2010-07-17, 12:10

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maciej View Post
And a lack of devices that need to be plugged in by Ethernet? That's my problem with my express.
Add a $15 switch. Problem solved.
  quote
ShadowOfGed
Travels via TARDIS
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Earthsea
 
2010-07-17, 15:24

Quote:
Originally Posted by turtle2472 View Post
Add a $15 switch. Problem solved.
No. That ethernet jack needs to be the WAN side. You can't hang both LAN devices and the WAN connection off of a switch on that port.
  quote
Bryson
Rocket Surgeon
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Whitby
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2010-07-17, 16:15

Are you sure? I'm 90% sure that I used to do exactly that on my Express before I changed over to the Extreme.
  quote
turtle
Lord of the Rant.
Formerly turtle2472
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Tidewater Virginia
 
2010-07-17, 22:57

I was thinking of using the Express in bridge mode. If you have to connect the WAN ethernet to the one ethernet port it can't be used to share the connection too at least to my knowledge.

However if Robo only needs to have his connection shared wirelessly then an Express would be good enough.

Louis L'Amour, “To make democracy work, we must be a notion of participants, not simply observers. One who does not vote has no right to complain.”
MineCraft? mc.applenova.com | Visit us! | Maybe someday I'll proof read, until then deal with it.
  quote
Sauvblanc
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Mel-Bun!
 
2010-07-18, 00:04

Dear Puppy Farm Owner,

You are an asshole for making a Labrador Retriever squeeze out several litters of puppies before she's 3 years old and then throwing her out onto the street when she couldn't produce any more. All to make a couple of bucks on the backs of poor defenseless animals. You, sir or madam, deserve to DIAF.

On the other hand, your "trash" is our "treasure". The sweetest, cutest, most loyal dog is curled up on the couch with me chasing rabbits in her sleep. If you hadn't abandoned her when you did we wouldn't have this lovely addition to our family.

I only hope that any other dogs you use, abuse and then abandon have the same happy fate as ours did.

Best,
Sauvblanc

Specialists are people who know more and more about less and less until they know everything about nothing. Generalists are people who know less and less about more and more until they know nothing about everything. I'm somewhere in the middle.
  quote
Noel
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Chicago
 
2010-07-21, 10:43

Dear Starbucks Barista,

It isn't unreasonable to order a hot drink on a hot day. I work in an overly air-conditioned office. It is not my fault that you assumed I wanted my latte iced. Hint: the customer is not supposed to be the one who apologizes for a screwed up order, when that order was placed correctly.

-- Noel
  quote
Ryan
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Promise Land of Trustafarians
 
2010-07-21, 11:22

Dear Every Republican with an email list:

Stop.

Sending.

Me.

Email.

The fact that I donated a small amount to a local congressional race ONCE does not mean I’m going to donate hundreds of dollars to races in other states every week as you come begging for more.

(Especially you, Peter Schiff. Enough already.)
  quote
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