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When Neighbors Aren't Neighbors
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Moogs
Hates the Infotainment
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: NSA Archives
 
2006-08-27, 17:27

Maybe I'm overreacting, but I am ready to punch my neighbors -whom I've never had the pleasure of speaking to other than one occasion- square in the head. Here's the deal: we've lived in this house a little over a year and at various times have crossed their paths and tried to say a friendly hello in the hopes of striking up a conversation. Instead what we get is silence. It's so fucking ridiculous though because we've had *no* contact or disagreements with these people at all.

At first I thought maybe they were just quiet people or something. But when I would walk near the common fence in our back yard and say "hello" or "sorry about the dogs" when they bark, they literally just walk around stone faced and silent, as if we're not standing there saying something to them. Their kid daughter actually spoke to me once the week we moved in and I picked up one of the dogs and let her pet the dog, etc. One time I threw a frisbee in their yard by accident and figured it a good opportunity to introduce myself. I rang the bell, the lady answered I smiled and introduced myself and asked if it would be all right if I could get the frisbee. She said "hi, yes you can get the frisbee"... and that was it. No small talk, no welcome to the neighborhood, nothing.

That's the last word any of them has said to us, other than "thank you" (from the fucking street) when I bought 4 boxes of girl scout cookies from her kid last spring. Just today the little boy threw a ball over to our side of the fence and the dog got it. I immediately retrieved the ball, dried it off and walked to the fence and said "are you guys missing a tennis ball?". They didn't even fucking look at me. I lobbed the ball over the fence turned around and tried very hard not to tell the lady and her little kid to fuck off. I succeeded but now I am pissed.

I realize the world is different now; I don't expect pleasantville. I don't expect neighbors to bake cookies and bring them to our door the day after we move in. What I do expect is a friendly hello if nothing else. Fucking self-righteous snots. What the hell is wrong with people? I mean if I lived next to a neighbor I actually had a reason not to like, and they said hello, I'd say hello back anyway just to not be an asshole.

I am SO tempted to run right up to the fence every time I see them now and do my best Don Knots:
"HOWDY NEIGHBORS! GREAT TO SEE YA!" That'll ensure they never step outside when I'm around again... dickheads.

...into the light of a dark black night.
  quote
Brad
Selfish Heathen
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Zone of Pain
 
2006-08-27, 17:29

Maybe they're just not very social people.

Unless I'm missing something, it sounds like you might be overreacting a bit.
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Fahrenheit
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2006-08-27, 17:32

Maybe they are mutes. In which case you are incredibly insensitive. I think Brad should ban you for being such a horrible person.

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Moogs
Hates the Infotainment
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: NSA Archives
 
2006-08-27, 17:36

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad View Post
Maybe they're just not very social people.

Understatement of the year. Not saying anything more than "hi" is "not very social". Not saying anything is fucking rude.
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chucker
 
Join Date: May 2004
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2006-08-27, 17:48

I also feel, based on your description, that you're overreacting.
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thegeriatric
geri to my friends
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Heaven
 
2006-08-27, 17:48

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad View Post
Maybe they're just not very social people.

Unless I'm missing something, it sounds like you might be overreacting a bit.
Agreed they may have had a bad neighbour experience in the past, and just be a bit wary until they get to know you better.

One things for sure if you lose it with them it can only go down hill from there.

Take a deep breath and stay calm.

I used to be undecided.....But now I'm not so sure.
No trees were harmed in the sending of this message. However, a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.
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pscates2.0
Mr. Farmiga
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2006-08-27, 17:51

Ask them if they swing, while looking his wife up and down. That should start some conversation, one way or the other.

You gotta think outside the box sometimes, people.

Good luck! Let me know if you need anymore advice.
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thegeriatric
geri to my friends
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Heaven
 
2006-08-27, 17:54

Quote:
Originally Posted by pscates2.0 View Post
Ask them if they swing, while looking his wife up and down. That should start some conversation, one way or the other.

You gotta think outside the box sometimes, people.

Good luck! Let me know if you need anymore advice.
Remind me *NEVER* to ask you for advice.
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Moogs
Hates the Infotainment
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: NSA Archives
 
2006-08-27, 17:54

Chucker: I guess since you're the second person to say so, my question is what would your reaction be? Wouldn't you wonder a little / get irritated after enough attempted hellos and no reciprocation?

Paul: good one! Unfortunately I wouldn't fuck his wife with a stolen dick so it would be hard for me to even say those words.

...into the light of a dark black night.
  quote
osa500
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Houston
 
2006-08-27, 17:55

Just because someone doesnt want to socialize with you makes them a dickhead.
Just relax and let it go, if they havent talked to you yet its not gonna happen. Life is to short to worry about why they dont talk to you, im sure you have other pressing things in your life that need more attention.
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turtle
Lord of the Rant.
Formerly turtle2472
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Tidewater Virginia
 
2006-08-27, 17:56

Quote:
Originally Posted by thegeriatric View Post
Agreed they may have had a bad neighbour experience in the past, and just be a bit wary until they get to know you better.

One things for sure if you lose it with them it can only go down hill from there.

Take a deep breath and stay calm.
Why not invite them over for dinner or something? Be very overt about building some form of relationship. I bet they are just engineers, you could put up a cubical wall at the fence line and try talking to them that way. Don't forget to mutter something about a stapler...

Louis L'Amour, “To make democracy work, we must be a notion of participants, not simply observers. One who does not vote has no right to complain.”
MineCraft? mc.applenova.com | Visit us! | Maybe someday I'll proof read, until then deal with it.
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Moogs
Hates the Infotainment
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: NSA Archives
 
2006-08-27, 18:01

Quote:
im sure you have other pressing things in your life that need more attention.
Well yes definitely, but I guess it's just a serious disappointment to us because we moved in here from a townhouse neighborhood and because there wasn't much wall-to-wall privacy people understandably kept to themselves a bit.

This is a nice middle class neighborhood with a really wide range of people seems like; we were hopeful to have friends or at least friendly people for neighbors. Life can be a lot better with a few BBQs here and there. I don't know. Maybe I'm watching too much TV and people just don't do that stuff much anymore.

Sucks. At least the neighbors on the other side are nice enough to stop for a minute or two and say hello / see how we're doing. They'll never be our best friends but you know I have a certain respect for people that take being a neighbor as more than just a physical condition of where you live. When people used to move into our townhouse building, I'd make a point of walking over and saying "welcome", and small talking a bit even if I didn't think I'd be close with those people.

It's just the right thing to do unless your neighbor is a psychopath or something. I don't know. Better things to worry about for sure. I guess I was wondering too if any of you deal with the same crap.

...into the light of a dark black night.
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chucker
 
Join Date: May 2004
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2006-08-27, 18:06

Quote:
Originally Posted by Moogs View Post
Chucker: I guess since you're the second person to say so, my question is what would your reaction be? Wouldn't you wonder a little / get irritated after enough attempted hellos and no reciprocation?
I'm not sure I'm particularly competent to respond, being only 22 years old.
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Brad
Selfish Heathen
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Zone of Pain
 
2006-08-27, 18:11

Quote:
Originally Posted by Moogs View Post
Chucker: I guess since you're the second person to say so, my question is what would your reaction be? Wouldn't you wonder a little / get irritated after enough attempted hellos and no reciprocation?
This isn't directed at me, but my reaction would be that I wouldn't have a reaction. I live in an apartment complex and I don't know any of my neighbors. I've spoken with only a few in passing, but beyond that? Nothing. Does it upset me that my neighbors aren't social butterflies? Not at all.

Some people simply don't socialize with neighbors.

The quality of this board depends on the quality of the posts. The only way to guarantee thoughtful, informative discussion is to write thoughtful, informative posts. AppleNova is not a real-time chat forum. You have time to compose messages and edit them before and after posting.
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alcimedes
I shot the sherrif.
 
Join Date: May 2004
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2006-08-27, 18:13

I'd say you're seriously over reacting. There's a good chance they can tell you're seething too, which might explain the silence.

There's a big difference between a friendly hello and a cranky one.

Be happy they don't have parties all night and whip shitties on your front lawn, or walk down the street with lead pipes and chains screaming about how they're going to skull fuck some other neighbor as soon as his pussy ass comes outside.

Or that the kids aren't hopping the fence into your yard at 2am to sneak out of the house to go fuck their abusive boyfriend, who when he tries to talk to the girl gets his ass beat by her brother and father.

I've had all of that and more from neighbors, so to me quiet neighbors would be waaaaay down the list of things to get pissed off about.

Google is your frenemy.
Caveat Emptor - Latin for tough titty
I tend to interpret things in the way that's most hilarious to me
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Moogs
Hates the Infotainment
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: NSA Archives
 
2006-08-27, 18:14

(Brad): I wouldn't (and never did) expect apartment neighbors to be neighborly either. It's a completely different environment. I guess though it's still valid to not even care enough to have a reaction. Guess I have to get busy not giving a shit (which is not the way I'd like to treat a neighbor but)...

Alicmedes: I hear ya. I definitely know it could be a lot worse... I guess I've never experienced people who ignore for no reason (who are a fixture in your existence as opposed to stranger guy on the train you'll never see again). And in general this is a pretty nice neighborhood as I said (few punks around here and there but very tame overall), so the being thankful for not having pipe-wielding psychos is valid but also out of context in a way. As for surly hellos, I don't say them. But I guess it doesn't matter. Maybe they only talk to people who attend their rapture meetings at church.

...into the light of a dark black night.
  quote
pscates2.0
Mr. Farmiga
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2006-08-27, 18:15

Some people are just that way, probably for a whole range of reasons (some neutral: past bad experiences, shyness, overprotectiveness, etc. Some bad: snobbery, think they're better than others around them, antisocial types who don't like anything/anybody, etc.).

I wouldn't worry about it. Appreciate/enjoy the other neighbors who aren't this way.

It's what I'd do. I'll give anyone 2-3 chances in this type of situation. After three times, with you making all the effort and with nothing to show for it, I'd say the writing is on the wall.

What are you gonna do? You've given it a good, honest effort...you can sleep at night (and you get karma points for trying).

  quote
pscates2.0
Mr. Farmiga
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2006-08-27, 18:17

Quote:
Originally Posted by alcimedes View Post
I'd say you're seriously over reacting. There's a good chance they can tell you're seething too, which might explain the silence.

There's a big difference between a friendly hello and a cranky one.

Be happy they don't have parties all night and whip shitties on your front lawn, or walk down the street with lead pipes and chains screaming about how they're going to skull fuck some other neighbor as soon as his pussy ass comes outside.

Or that the kids aren't hopping the fence into your yard at 2am to sneak out of the house to go fuck their abusive boyfriend, who when he tries to talk to the girl gets his ass beat by her brother and father.

I've had all of that and more from neighbors, so to me quiet neighbors would be waaaaay down the list of things to get pissed off about.
Yeah, I've experienced some "interesting" neighbors in my time too...but those take the cake!
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Brad
Selfish Heathen
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Zone of Pain
 
2006-08-27, 18:20

Quote:
Originally Posted by Moogs View Post
(Brad): I wouldn't (and never did) expect apartment neighbors to be neighborly either. It's a completely different environment.
Did you think that maybe they're used to the apartment environment like me? Maybe these people were not raised in and acclimated to the same suburban culture (or wherever it is that you live).

The quality of this board depends on the quality of the posts. The only way to guarantee thoughtful, informative discussion is to write thoughtful, informative posts. AppleNova is not a real-time chat forum. You have time to compose messages and edit them before and after posting.
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pscates2.0
Mr. Farmiga
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2006-08-27, 18:22

Yeah, but it's weird to be that standoffish and unfriendly, isn't it? Isn't it just good manners to at least acknowledge a greeting with more than stone silence? Sounds like they're just an insulated, serious bunch (the parents, anyway).

I'll talk to anyone, and I wouldn't dream of not returning a friendly hello or greeting.

Maybe they're just from a large, crappy city and spent years surrounded by nutballs and troublemakers...maybe they just don't know how to be any other way? Unfortunate.
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Moogs
Hates the Infotainment
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: NSA Archives
 
2006-08-27, 18:23

Brad: Possibly. I know they've been here at least 2 or 3 years based on things my other neighbor has said but yah anything's possible. I don't know. Usually things like this are simple misunderstandings but you'd think that scenario would've resolved itself for better or worse by now.

Ah well. Fuck it. Everything happens for a reason I guess; just have to accept some reasons you'll never understand.

...into the light of a dark black night.
  quote
Moogs
Hates the Infotainment
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: NSA Archives
 
2006-08-27, 18:27

Quote:
Originally Posted by pscates2.0 View Post
Yeah, but it's weird to be that standoffish and unfriendly, isn't it? Isn't it just good manners to at least acknowledge a greeting with more than stone silence? Sounds like they're just an insulated, serious bunch (the parents, anyway).

I'll talk to anyone, and I wouldn't dream of not returning a friendly hello or greeting.

Maybe they're just from a large, crappy city and spent years surrounded by nutballs and troublemakers...maybe they just don't know how to be any other way? Unfortunate.

Heh. They're sox fans (south side is full of nut-jobs), so maybe you're onto something. The weird thing is when I see the Dad out with his kids, he looks like a regular nice guy but says absolutely nothing and doesn't even look in my direction. It's just the strangest fucking thing and obviously I don't get it. Their loss because I'm pretty good with kids, and that kid needs someone to teach him how to throw a baseball / football like a man. He even plays driveway hockey sometimes but they've definitely told the kids to ignore us too because they basically are mute also.

...into the light of a dark black night.
  quote
sunrain
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Portlandia
 
2006-08-27, 18:27

If you're at a loss as to why these folks aren't friendly, now might be a good time to take stock regarding your grooming habits.
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Moogs
Hates the Infotainment
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: NSA Archives
 
2006-08-27, 18:29

Fuck you. Bastard, had to make me go and laugh now....



Good one.
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alcimedes
I shot the sherrif.
 
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2006-08-27, 18:32

Well, the pipe/chain neighbors I went outside with my gun and told them to shut the fuck up and go home.

Thankfully they did.

This was after some dipshit went down our street and slashed all of the tires on every car up and down the block so I was a bit cranky to begin with.

The fence hoppers were taken care of accidently. One night at 2am our dog wanted out and I was half asleep. Had no idea why he was whining so much. Opened the door and he started growling/barking chasing after someone. I heard swearing and saw three people jump the fence like their pants were on fire. Our dog is about 130 lbs. though, and has a mean bark so I can understand their haste.

So yeah, neighbors like that don't sound so bad.

Google is your frenemy.
Caveat Emptor - Latin for tough titty
I tend to interpret things in the way that's most hilarious to me
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sunrain
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Portlandia
 
2006-08-27, 18:41

Ooh! Here you go.

For definite results: Take alcimedes gun. Point it at their head the next time you see them and ask, "Why aren't you being amicable neighbors?! I'm a nice guy. Why won't you be sociable you sonofabitch?"

I'm sure they'll be quite friendly.

So will the police.

edit: Always happy to get a laugh while insulting.

"What a computer is to me is it's the most remarkable tool that we've ever come up with, and it's the equivalent of a bicycle for our minds."
- Steve Jobs
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Moogs
Hates the Infotainment
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: NSA Archives
 
2006-08-27, 18:44

Quote:
Originally Posted by sunrain View Post
Ooh! Here you go.

For definite results: Take alcimedes gun. Point it at their head the next time you see them and ask, "Why aren't you being amicable neighbors?! I'm a nice guy. Why won't you be sociable you sonofabitch?"


Sweet idea. "Be nice to me or I'll kill you, assholes!"


*lmao*
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Moogs
Hates the Infotainment
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: NSA Archives
 
2006-08-27, 19:21

I should covertly snap some telephoto shots of their faces and post them here. Then you guys could use your super-nova-powers to deduce once and for all if they're assholes.

...into the light of a dark black night.
  quote
Windswept
On Pacific time
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Moderator's Pub
 
2006-08-27, 19:39

Hellooo... I think your problem might be:

Spoiler (click to toggle):

Quote:
Originally Posted by Moogs
"sorry about the dogs" when they bark


Honestly, Moogs, I had a neighbor who put me through absolute living hell for months, and she never even knew it. Why?

Because as soon as she would leave the house and drive down the street, her dog would start non-stop barking that would go on without a second of interruption for four or five solid hours, until she drove back up the street and clicked her garage door to open.

Seriously, this was just the most horrible torture imaginable. In my darker moments, I fantasized about shooting or poisoning this dog. I thought of making four-hour-long tape recordings of the barking and putting them with an explanatory letter on her front door knob. I guess I just dreaded confronting her face-to-face about it.

I think I even called the city code compliance department, because barking dogs are definitely against 'nuisance' codes in some cities. It's weird, because I can't actually remember how this problem was resolved. But one day, the dog was gone, and I lived happily ever after.

Think about the times when you are gone. All those nice evenings out with your lady, lasting many hours. The days when both of you are gone. Maybe the dogs are barking constantly while you're away. If so, your neighbors are living in a hell that you don't even know about.

None of this may be true, but then again it may be. It would *certainly* explain your neighbors' odd behavior.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad tidings, Moogs, but if your dogs are a barking problem, then I completely understand your neighbors' reaction. You could be ruining their lives without even knowing it.
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Ghost2
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
 
2006-08-27, 19:40

Moogs if they happened to be a family of autistic people then you would feel like the biggest dumbshit on they planet.
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