Veteran Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Portlandia
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Just when you thought corporate America couldn't make a crappier beer, they present us with:
B to the E Holy fucking mother of god. Apparently someone at Anheuser-Busch thinks America needs caffienated beer. Yummy. Beer with caffeine, ginseng, guarana extract, and natural flavor. [marketing meeting] "An energy drink beer, yeah, that'll sell! Beer for athletes ...that's awesome. You're getting a raise. Let's give it a scientific looking name so people will think it's a a doctor's prescription. We could put up a stand at the next Ironman; right next to the Gatorade booth." [/marketing meeting] Drunk hyper assholes. We need more of those in this country. I want to cry. "What a computer is to me is it's the most remarkable tool that we've ever come up with, and it's the equivalent of a bicycle for our minds." - Steve Jobs |
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Well then... That made me bust up laughing. I know where that will be popular! Navy guys will love that one:
(Sailor 1) Dude, I gotta go to work in 5 hours... (Sailor 2) Hey, drink this, it'll wake you right up! 10 of those later: (Sailor 1) Damn, I feel good! Time to go to work... At Work: (Chief) Are you drunk? (Sailor 1) No, it's just an energy drink Chief! (Chief) Then relieve the watch! 3 hours later: (Sailor 1) *snore* (RPCP) *red lights blinking* *alarm sounds* (Sailor 1) Huh? OH SHIT! And that folks, is how that beer will cause a nuclear accident. *RPCP - Reactor Plant Control Panel, and it does exactly what it's name says. |
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Veteran Member
Join Date: May 2004
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The Canadian beer mongers are starting to do this as well. Labatt's just released some sort of swill called Shok!
I suppose it's to compete for the Red Bull+Vodka crowd. Bloody gross. |
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Not sayin', just sayin'
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Let's see, a barbituate with an added amphetamine. That's got to do wonders for ya. Is it light beer, or is the added ginseng whatnot another walking contradiction?
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¡Damned!
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Purgatory
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If I need a beer speedball my choice is: 'Double Chocolate Coffee Oatmeal Stout" It's awesome. So it goes. |
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Rocket Surgeon
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: The Canadark
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On the ship where I used to work, as everyone worked so many hours, a popular cocktail in the crewbar was a "Power Shandy" ie: A pint glass containing a can of Red Bull and a Dos Equis beer. So I can see there's a market for it. Not a clever one, maybe, but I reckon they'll be able to sell the stuff.
Hell, Budweiser tastes so bad, there's got to be something else in it for you! |
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Passing by
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: London, Europe
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Breakfast stout - exactly what you need with a good hearty fry up in the morning. The low carb low cholestrol way to start the day.
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¡Damned!
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Purgatory
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It's the most important beer of the day.
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Mr. Vieira
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Tennessee
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I think some of these trends just get boneheadedly out of hand.
All these energy/juice/pep type drinks are such a silly, "on its 14th minute" trend, and to make a beer with that stuff is just...weird. It'll flop. I'm waiting for the cigarettes with "natural energy supplements and thirst quenchers!" to hit the market... KoolExtreme. MarlboroX. |
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ಠ_ರೃ
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Minnesota
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Remember clear beer?
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Finally broke the seal
Join Date: May 2004
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at a bunch of bars in lower manhattan, they replaced BL with BE. my friends love it. i didn't much notice, as i'm a guinness man, through and through.
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Hates the Infotainment
Join Date: May 2004
Location: NSA Archives
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You know... there must be something inherently wrong with the marketing education programs at our universities. Or something. Maybe it's the corporatized training of the new ranks every year. Whatever it is, the intellectual quality (or logic behind) today's marketing and advertising efforts - in a host of fields - is just pathetic. Who the fuck thinks stuff like this is a good idea??
Hmmm. Let's do some basic chemistry you corporate fluff-fucks. Alcohol is a DEPRESSANT and a diuretic, hmmmkay? Caffeine is a STIMULANT and a diuretic. Ginseng is another STIMULANT. Do you think it's as simple as 2-1=1? No, jackasses. What you're going to end up with are people with poor coordination and reaction time, zero attention span and serious digestive problems. Honestly when the first accident suits come rolling in I hope Budweiser gets sued into fucking oblivion, because this is irresponsible to put shit like this on the market. Yah I'm sure they've done a *load* of controlled studies to see how this little toxic cocktail affects people's nervous systems and general behavior. Especially when mixed with other types of alcohol, food, etc. These assholes are no different than Big Tobacco in certain respects. They don't give a shit what their product does to you behaviorally or to your long term health, they just want your green at any cost. ...into the light of a dark black night. |
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as a side note i used to work in a gas station and we sold that shit there. This was at least 6 months ago. and those cans are so tiny. A can of redbull has more liquid in it than those and the redbull is a fuckton cheaper too. people getting drunk off their asses from this stuff sounds pretty far fetched if you ask me just because of the cost, that and im sure it taste like hell and it probably has a lower alcohol content because of the additives.
at least we can only hope so. . . . . . . . . "History will be kind to me because i intend to write it" -- Winston Churchill I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. -- Winston Churchill |
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owner for sale by house
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Charlotte, NC
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What do sex in a boat and American beer have in common?
They're both fucking close to water! *runsreallyreallyfast* |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: "Chambana", IL
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Bud Extra tastes really bad.. its awful. I had the unfortunate experience of trying it. Heard of sparks?
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Veteran Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: New York City
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Veteran Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Portlandia
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Veteran Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Portlandia
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Edit: I was waiting however, for Brad to come in and tell me how 'X' ago this find was. "Welcome to 'X', etc., etc." "What a computer is to me is it's the most remarkable tool that we've ever come up with, and it's the equivalent of a bicycle for our minds." - Steve Jobs |
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Yarp
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Road Warrior
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Didn't the earliest 'beer' come from fermented gruel type meal used to feed slaves? I should so totally work for budweiser's marketing team.
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Veteran Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Portlandia
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Banging the Bottom End
Join Date: Jun 2004
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Banging the Bottom End
Join Date: Jun 2004
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Finally broke the seal
Join Date: May 2004
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as to the mixing uppers and downers together: i don't know a lot about medicine, but I believe its the same idea in many 'non-drowsy' or 'day time' formulas. like dayquil is just nyquil with a lot of caffeine added. they just throw a bunch of chemicals together, hope they balance out, and watch the profits roll in. |
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owner for sale by house
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Charlotte, NC
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Anyway, on a more serious note, I read an article recently on how the American beer industry is having trouble because beer is no longer the absolute favorite among young people. Wine and cocktails seem to be more appealing to the young, especially the "metrosexuals" (whatever that really means). So I guess this is an attempt at putting the coolness back into beer, and also make it more compatible with the crowd that doesn't consume beer in front of the TV, but whil going out and having some fun. |
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Veteran Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Portlandia
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I didn't mean that Guinness was made as a medicine, but that doctors recommended it to their patients. In a very quick search I found a linky that talks about it.
http://www.sallys-place.com/beverage...tout_beers.htm "What a computer is to me is it's the most remarkable tool that we've ever come up with, and it's the equivalent of a bicycle for our minds." - Steve Jobs |
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ಠ_ರೃ
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Minnesota
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I'm kind of confused. I understand that obviously there's a difference between these crappy mass-produced American beers and the better stuff, but I don't really get why people love beer so much. It tastes kind of gross. I admit I haven't had much, but I haven't only had crap beer. I've also tried Corona several times as well as some Leinenkugel's. But it doesn't matter, every time I've tried it I hate it beyond the very first swig (which is pretty good). After that it's just kind of bitter and gross.
Same thing applies for wine with me too. I don't like wine one bit. In fact the only drinks I can really enjoy are the really sweet ones. I don't understand why people like the others. Wine, beer, etc. is hard to take. |
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Veteran Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Portlandia
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If you do want to try and find some yummy beer. Check out some of the higher rated beers at Beer Advocate. http://www.beeradvocate.com/ Since it sounds like you lean toward the sweet, I'd look for some of the fruitier Trappist ales. The Koningshoeven 'La Trappe Quadrupel' would be right up your alley. You might be surprised how much you like it. "What a computer is to me is it's the most remarkable tool that we've ever come up with, and it's the equivalent of a bicycle for our minds." - Steve Jobs |
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I shot the sherrif.
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yeah, we always call in canoe beer here. at least my friends did. same punchline.
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