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drewprops
Space Pirate
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Atlanta
 
2023-10-02, 21:21

It's October and I'm feeling Halloweeny for the first time in a long time.

I have some fun memories of working in a few haunted houses, and was wondering if there are any fans here - and any funny stories.

They're so common here that I assume they happen elsewhere as well, but realize now that may not be the case.

So what up?


...

Steve Jobs ate my cat's watermelon.
Captain Drew on Twitter
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Ebby
Subdued and Medicated
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Over Yander
Send a message via AIM to Ebby  
2023-10-02, 23:33

I used to work in theaters and would set up elaborate displays in my front yard. We earned a reputation and it was exciting every year.

I built makeshift holograms, fog chillers, smoke ring machines, staged car crashes, did the whole grave thingy with leaf piles, rigged up tiki torches to propane cylinders with remote actuators, filled hundred gallon fishtanks with "human" bones with bubbles to make soup, lights galore, and blasted haunted house music through the stereo.

It was glorious

We moved long ago and don't have the space to build scenes anymore. I miss it, but it was a lot of work. Bet the new owners didn't expect the crowd they got their first Halloween!

^^ One more quality post from the desk of Ebby. ^^
SSBA | SmockBogger | SporkNET
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crazychester
Dick in the Abstentia, The
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2023-10-02, 23:39

Riding the ghost train as a kid, the final ghost whacked me in the face and knocked out a loose tooth.
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psmith2.0
Mr. Vieira
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Tennessee
 
2023-10-03, 06:00

I love these things. Some are a bit much, as though a bunch of Rob Zombie wannabe types (the noise, gore and sensory overload). My favorites, as with movies, have always been the quieter, genuinely creepy ones, which are typically fewer and further between, as everyone feels the need to go full slasher/chainsaw/hockey mask with theirs.

I don’t mind a good scare - hello, I’m there, right? - but I don’t like actually being touched/handled at all. Those have been my least favorite. I think, in the chaos/confusion of the noise, strobe lights, etc. a few places are kinda set up as grope emporiums for the teenaged Beavis and Butthead employees. I went with a girl once (she was a girl and a friend, but not my girlfriend, dig?). And when we got put she was kinda quiet/distant. I just figured it had really scared her. About 45 minutes later she was like “do you know how many times my boobs and ass were grabbed/touched/squeezed?!”.

I assured her it wasn’t me and that I had no idea it happened, but, to my surprise, she kinda dropped it with an odd “oh well” shrug/dismissal. I knew going back there, with all the chaos, crowds, lines, wouldn’t amount to much. In a darkened, strobe-lit environment with masked inhabitants/workers, who would you ever know who did what, which was my whole point above…some of your more low-rent establishments were fully aware of this and…



The whole thing left a bad taste in my mouth and it all just seemed a little skeezy and UNfun, so it’s been 3-4 years since I’ve been to any. No one’s ever grabbed my crank at one of these so I felt bad for my friend, that what should’ve been a fun night out was a weird, creepy time for her, and that nothing could be done about it. Nobody was caught/grabbed red-handed at the time and it was only a good while afterwards that she even brought it up. She herself was like “there’s nothing to be done about it tonight”, which kinda made me think she contacted the place the next day, or put it all on her Facebook or whatever, none of which I followed. I checked up on her a few more times and she always just blew it off, and “eh…”, so it just became a no-go subject and, eventually we just kinda drifted apart. We haven’t spoken since October 2019. I think she’s married now so i just don’t feel right contacting her anyway. Isn’t like we’re gonna hang out again, or go do things. She’s got someone for that now.

I will say this: the best “haunted” type of attraction/event I ever attended was a “haunted corn maze” thingie. Outside, mostly moonlit and creepy/atmospheric as hell. It genuinely scared me, just being out in the open, dark field with blind turns/corners. There were no strobe lights or loud, disorienting metal “music”, which I was grateful for. What took it to the next level was they kinda latched onto the region’s Civil War history, in terms of props, backstory, etc. And, throughout, you’d encounter a costumed re-enactor type in ghoulish, effective white “dead” makeup just walking around “on patrol”. They’d never say anything or “boo!”/chase you. You’d just turn a corner and there’d be some guy in Civil War soldier get-up with a scary, creepy face, all hollowed/shadowed via makeup, just staring at you. It hit me that “maybe this is what such an encounter would be like…eerie silence and long stares”. The site of the corn maze wasn’t far from a known battlefield/skirmish - hell, all of Chattanooga is a battlefield/skirmish site, I’ve come to learn - and once I allowed that little nugget of info to set up shop in my head, I’d basically convinced myself “holy smokes, is this the one haunted attraction in town featuring actual ghosts?!?”

I promptly freaked myself out with all that and went through the rest of it with such fear and dread that I pretty much just covered my eyes and blindly walked through, just watching the ground. Sometimes you’d look up and see a face in the corn stalks and it was terrifying! Or you’d be walking about, dark and quiet, lost as hell, and you’d hear whispering from the dark. “Sir…where am I?”, “help me”, “hey…”, “you’re lost too?” and other things which made it all so scary. It was all quiet and still, far more The Shining in tone/vibe than the whole Freddy/Jason/Michael racket/angle of all the others. This one was genuinely SCARY, which is the whole point. I didn’t sleep that night, had bad dreams and lingering thoughts (“did I bring one of those guys home with me? Is he standing in my closet right now, watching me sleep?” I noticed every creak or noise. This was pre-Jasper, so I couldn’t even attribute it to a playful, active kitty as I do now. I wasn’t right for a few days. I’m not sure I could bring myself to go back again. It was that scary/eerie/unsettling to me.

Whoever came up with that - an outside eerie corn maze, augmented with local Civil War lore and all, was really onto something, and had their shit in one sock!

It scared me there, the drive home (I just kept waiting to see more Grey-uniform types standing by the road, waving/gesturing, with their long rifles and white skin/eyes. And it scared me after I got home and for the next several days. Talk about getting your money’s worth! I was afraid to shower (clearing the soap out of my face/eyes, then opening my eyes to see one of those eerie faces peering into my shower curtain…horrifying!), sleep, open my bedroom closet, look in the bathroom mirror, etc. Very effective and hitting all my buttons. It was as if someone knew all the things that genuinely scare me - silence, dread, being lost, disembodied voices, ghosts/ghost soldiers,,local Civil War haunting/ghost lore, etc. and put it all into one big “let’s scare the absolute hell out of Paul for $12!” production.

It’s a delicious feeling, being truly scared, but in a low-key, non-jarring way. Quiet, genuine dread is what gets me. It’s amazing how your body truly responds! you have no saliva, your skin feels like spiders are walking on it everywhere, your stomach tightens, you almost feel a little queasy/drugged, etc.

An excellent attraction. All atmosphere and dread, the complete opposite of every Insane Clown Posse/Slipknot/Beavis & Butthead-based attraction elsewhere in town.

Great job! To this day, 9-10 years later, I’m not entirely sure what I saw (or didn’t see). What was real, what I imagined/conjured up, etc. I’m too scared to re-visit, if that’s anything to go by.

Last edited by psmith2.0 : 2023-10-03 at 06:26.
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psmith2.0
Mr. Vieira
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Tennessee
 
2023-10-03, 12:45

I typed all the above, early this morning (when I typically awake on my own these days, pre-sunrise...I watch the sun come up every morning, always a comforting/happy way to start my day).

Anyway, my bedroom was still dark when I started and the more I wrote about that haunted corn maze with the Civil War trappings, the more I kinda creeped myself out, just remembering back to those pale, hollow faces in the corn stalks and those whispering, disembodied voices saying stuff to me as I walked around with my hands over my eyes.

When something hits all my buttons and truly scares me, it scares me. And will stick with me a good, long while.

Over the years, I've thought of cool haunted house ideas along those same lines, and how neat it would be to implement some day. Actual creepy paranormal/ghost/possession type fare vs. all the "slasher"/Rob Zombie horseshit.

A haunted house that made you feel the way you felt when you watched The Shining or even the first hour of The Exorcist, before things fully kicked-in and went completely sideways (just that sense of dread and "something's not right" can really do a number on people, done right.

It would be cool to do a themed, connected attraction with a full backstory and "warnings" about what/who you might see, and present it with a sense of "hey, we're not fully aware of what's going on here either, so be careful." Kind of a real-life version of "Blair Witch", some established lore/history and events and then hinting that "some of that stuff still takes place here". If you see dark shadows/figures out of the corner of your eye, you've awakened something (and, of course, have black suited employees lurking about in the shadows of the entire joint). A strict "no touching, EVER" policy to employees, and if any tough-guy visitors did the same to impress their girl, immediately ejection. Nobody touches anyone. Violently, sexually or otherwise. Keep your damn hands to yourself and just scream when scared, no punches, kicking or muscle-head/Tap-Out playing the role of hard-case. And no phones/filming allowed. You don't wanna have the whole thing on Instagram where everyone knows what happens.

I'd LOVE to put together a haunted house that scared people as much as that damn corn maze above scared me! I would love that compliment. Ghosts and the unknown (people stuck to/crawling on ceilings, levitating, etc.) are far creepier than maniac slasher killers, whose impact/presence has been diluted/lessened by decades of shitty, ridiculous movies. When I see some jughead in a hockey mask and machete, I just kinda mentally make the International jack-off gesture and think to myself "yeah, whatever...I got your "Jason" right here, pal." That stuff does not scare me in the least, never really did. But if/when it did, it would've been way early on before everyone realized how ridiculous they all were after 17 sequels.
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