[murbot]

I think it started with the whole seagull-in-the-head thing on my motorcycle back in '99. The whore then took a 7 year holiday. Now she's back with a vengeance. It's like I'm in Final Destination IV or something.

Last week a black widow or something bit me in the face. Upper cheek. It swelled up enough that it blocked me from looking down out of my left eye. It went kind of blue too, like I was hit in the eye. The beer in my system must have kept the lethal venom from killing me instantly. Yes, it must have been a black widow. I just know.

So she goes back to the birds. The one sent out to execute me yesterday was incompetent, and ended up hitting me in the foot instead of the throat like it meant to. The weak little creature couldn't even handle a boot to the face at 140 km/hr. Pffft.

Then the bitch got mean and sent 2 rattlesnakes to do the hit. I kind of cut the first one in half, and had to go back to do a mercy killing on the poor bastard. Mother Nature you whore, damn you for making me kill.





The second one tried to wipe me out, but I avoided it. I live to breathe another day.

So I get to work this morning, relieved that I didn't run into any wolverines or cheetahs or anything. I pull a roll-up door at work, and see a tiny mouse in there. Ha! A mouse?! Bring it on, ma! I still had my riding gloves on and went in for the kill. I grabbed the little bastard between my thumb and finger and realized it wasn't a mouse, but one of the greatest killing machines the FSM ever created... THE BLOODSUCKING BAT OF DEATH!!!!







This last photo was snapped moments before the bat attempted to rip out my jugular. Luckily I was able to avoid a quick and painful death by carrying Thor (I named him) to a dark corner behind a building and putting him down for a nap. I'll definately be keeping my eyes open once the sun drops tonight though!!

(No sarcasm in the last paragraph, I really did set him down. "Down for a nap" does not mean stomped to death or anything. Bats are super cool. Even the ones sent to murder me.)

[Gargoyle]

[Windowsrookie]

[thegeriatric]

[Yontsey]

After band practice yesterday, we were in my buddies back yard planning where we were gonna build our stage for our yearly blowout bash and bats were swooping down out of the sky dive bombing us. It was pretty crazy.....I hate those little fucks

[Mac+]

[Mac+]

Yontsey - you're a disgrace ... go choose a smilie.

[murbot]

Yeah because a row of smiley posts isn't gay or anything.

[Mac+]

...

[Windowsrookie]

.

[macleod]

Glad you live to see another day Murbot! Thanks for making me laugh on a tuesday that feels like it will never end!

[Windswept]

Ah, murbeau. I hardly know what to say.

A venomous spider injects her vile fluids into your *face*.

(Hmm. Were you taking a nap on the sofa by any chance? That's what I thought. )

A rattlesnake lies in wait on the highway.

Another rattlesnake threatens to send you flying into oblivion.

A kamikaze bird attacks without warning.

A bloodthirsty bat snarls and hisses his morning greetings.

All in the space of a few days. Wow.

I think Mother Nature's got the hots for your body, murbeau. heh.

[bassplayinMacFiend]

Originally Posted by murbot

Holy shit, Batman!!!

[psmith2.0]

You know, with your gloved hand and that bat looking so cool, it's almost like a composed "Batman holding - and pondering - his inspiration" type of pic. Damn near poetic!

If that was an Alex Ross painting it would be BAD ASS!

You just need two long "ears" poking out of your shadown head, murbot, to help sell it.

Ah, who am I kidding...this is mockup city. Back in 10 minutes...

[drewprops]

OMG!!!

It's just like from the comics!!!



Edit: Paul, you and I were on the same wavelength... I just read your reply AFTER posting MINE. hehehe, less jibber-jabber, more Photoshoppery!

[psmith2.0]

Behold...

[murbot]

Oh man, those are hilarious! Thanks, guys.

[MBHockey]

I think i look forward to these posts more than anyone's on any other forum.

[Kickaha]

Murbot, I *told* you those Crimes Against Nature would just piss her off, but did you listen? Noooooooo...

"Leave the goat alone," I said.

"Put down the chicken," I told you.

But no, you just had to piss off The Big Green Mama.

[Banana]

Originally Posted by Kickaha "Leave the goat alone," I said. "Put down the chicken," I told you.

So he didn't diaper his goats and choked his chicken? That's what "Big Green Mama" is PO'd about?

[Argento]

Thanks scate, my new desktop.

[alcimedes]

I think you watered one too many trees outside a bar.

[Gargoyle]

[Windswept]

[Ghost2]

[thegeriatric]

It's A Geriatric.

Get it?




Hat trick. Gheesh if i have to explain it then........