[Moogs]

That's right friends. It's high time we created a place where we can post a collection of well-meaning but completely useless widgets.

General criteria include but aren't limited to:

• Duplicating the functionality of an existing widget from Apple or another developer, which is free and which already does a better job of said functionality.

• Offering functionality which is so tepid that the RAM usage of the widget outweigh the benefit of what it does.

• It's so ugly that you feel sorry for your Dashboard and so immediately throw it away.

• Offers a semi-useful function but no means of customization, thereby making it useless.

• The developer charges for something that has so little original functionality, that charging for it borders on being unconscionable.


My first entries in no particular order:

Eight Ball Mini

Countdown to XBox 360

Haiku Widget

[curiousuburb]

Seems to me there was a FedEx Tracker in the original set on Tiger Launch day.
Within hours the Package Tracker Widget offered FedEx and UPS in one widget.

Would that make the one provider widget 'useless' by your criteria?

[Moogs]

Not sure what you mean by "orignial set" (Apple supplied?), but no. Basically someone improved upon the stand-alone FedEx one, which is a good thing™ normally. You seem almost offended. You didn't develop the 8 ball, countdown or haiku widgets, did you?

Apparently you are not alone because 30 some people read my thread and found no use for it, so wtf do I know?

PS - I love the Package Tracker widget.

[scratt]

I am going to make a 'Your Computer is On' Widget.

Simply bring Dashboard up and if the Widget has a big green light then your computer is on.

No big green light.........

[Franz Josef]

Ambiguous title - useless widget or useless thread ?

[curiousuburb]

My nominee for "Potentially Most Useful App for managing Most Useless Widgets" is
WidgetOrganizer



Not perfect yet (still a 0.98 release), but it's certainly relevant here.

Now if it had been a widget for managing widgets...

[Moogs]

that's what I'm talking about burb.


Franz: Or both.


scratt: you should run with that idea. Make it a stoplight.

Green light means it's definitely on, Amber light means it might be on, Red light means the computer is definitely off.


Hmm. Maybe I should've included the NHL lockout widget too since that's clearly useless. Any widget predicated on the potential of Gary Bettman and David Goodenow to come to a logical resolution is clearly worthless.

[curiousuburb]

Tough to match some of your original criteria.

I skip Widgets which didn't seem to offer useful function to me (ie: don't support Canadian addresses).

Fugly widgets, well... the IMDB widget is garish yellow and really only throws the query to Safari.

I suppose a Google widget would be redundant for anyone with the Google bar in menu or browser.

Hmmmm....

If we're talking bad widget GUI, there are a few candidates... Rabbit Radio, for one.
Canada 411 uses US colours (defying the obvious), and the interface is clumsy, but for Canucks, it's an improvement on the Yellow Pages Widget which only supports US zip codes.

[BlueRabbit]

The Hula Girl widget is cool, although it is pretty useless. Strangely enough, it used to be in the top 5 downloaded widgets on Apple's front page.

[curiousuburb]

Same with the Fortune Cookie widget.

[Moogs]

Hula Girl (Boy/Homer/Jesus) 3.0 now available for download. Useless sure, but unlike most other useless widgets it's almost impossible not to like it. They need an R rated version with jiggling ta-tas from some bikini babe.

[pv2b]

Originally Posted by Moogs Hula Girl (Boy/Homer/Jesus) 3.0 now available for download. Useless sure, but unlike most other useless widgets it's almost impossible not to like it. They need an R rated version with jiggling ta-tas from some bikini babe.

What an excellent success of the Dashboard technology that we now can have hula girls pop up next to our calculator whenever we need it!

In fact, I hereby predict that the WWDC Stevenote will include a spot on how Tiger's new core technologies "have empowered developers to develop new innovative Dashboard widgets, such as the industry-revolutionizing Hula Girl 3.0 series".

About an R-rated version, well, it's a given that any new information technology ever invented will sooner or later be used for porn.

- Floppy drives: Store porn on them. Obvious.
- Ballooning hard drive sizes: Store even more porn, of course.
- VHS, DVD: More porn. (What do you think the "different angles" feature of DVD's are meant for?)
- CD and DVD burning: Stash porn on them.
- BBSes: Obvious.
- The World Wide Web: OBVIOUS!
- Webcams: Obvious!
- Spotlight: Find your porn quicker than ever.
- Safari Private Surfing: Hmm... obvious.
- Dashboard: Hula Girl R-rated edition
- Core Audio: Better sound, leading to better video playback, leading to OBVIOUS.
- Core Image: Obvious

In fact, can anyone think of any development in information technology that doesn't have any porn applications? Even the first printing presses of the Gutenberg era were printing porn when they weren't printing bibles.

[BlueRabbit]

Here's an Apple Logo widget, and a Clarus the Dogcow widget, neither of which actually does anything. They're really cool to have, though.

[ghoti]

There's also a butterfly and a widget for decorating your dashboard with flowers. Another pointless one tells you your current screen resolution ...

[Moogs]

Wow. That screen resolution one might take the cake so far. Why not just make a widget that tells you which side of your monitor is left and which side is right.

[ezkcdude]

Green light means it's definitely on, Amber light means it might be on, Red light means the computer is definitely off.

Blue light means it's sleeping.

[atomicbartbeans]

Originally Posted by pv2b What an excellent success of the Dashboard technology that we now can have hula girls pop up next to our calculator whenever we need it! In fact, I hereby predict that the WWDC Stevenote will include a spot on how Tiger's new core technologies "have empowered developers to develop new innovative Dashboard widgets, such as the industry-revolutionizing Hula Girl 3.0 series". About an R-rated version, well, it's a given that any new information technology ever invented will sooner or later be used for porn. - Floppy drives: Store porn on them. Obvious. - Ballooning hard drive sizes: Store even more porn, of course. - VHS, DVD: More porn. (What do you think the "different angles" feature of DVD's are meant for?) - CD and DVD burning: Stash porn on them. - BBSes: Obvious. - The World Wide Web: OBVIOUS! - Webcams: Obvious! - Spotlight: Find your porn quicker than ever. - Safari Private Surfing: Hmm... obvious. - Dashboard: Hula Girl R-rated edition - Core Audio: Better sound, leading to better video playback, leading to OBVIOUS. - Core Image: Obvious In fact, can anyone think of any development in information technology that doesn't have any porn applications? Even the first printing presses of the Gutenberg era were printing porn when they weren't printing bibles.

To quote The Dilbert Future by Scott Adams (duh):

Virtual reality technology is also being developed primarily by horny males. You might notice a pattern in these technical developments. Historically, the true purpose of every invention is disguised. Invention: Club. Real Purpose: Seduce Women. Invention: Fire. Real Purpose: Stay warm while seducing women. Invention: Printing press. Real Purpose: Print Bibles to impress women. Invention: Automobile. Real Purpose: Go on dates with women. Invention: VCR. Real Purpose: Watch other people seduce women. Invention: Virtual reality. Real Purpose: Imagine what it's like to seduce women.

By the way, you forgot color screens on cell phones, DVRs, the iPod Photo, and digital cameras.

You read about women who invent things, yes? Think about those things that were invented by women. Can they easily be used to seduce women/be used for pr0n?

Now you know the true motivation for most scientific achievement.

[SledgeHammer]

Two that probably count as pretty useless (but I use them both anyway) are the Halo Player Stats Widget—it displays Halo 2 stats for any gamertag. It has improved in the latest version (got smaller and includes more info now), but it on the whole, it doesn't have much use—and live-venice—it displays updating pictures from several webcams around Venice, Italy. No practical use, really, but I love venice, and every night, I love to watch the sun rise.

[sunrain]

How about a countdown widget where the developer doesn't even know the date to countdown to?

http://www.apple.com/downloads/macos...toxbox360.html

About Countdown to Xbox360 This is a Countdown timer to the release of Microsoft’s Xbox360. This is just a estimated Release date for the Xbox360 This Date is based on the Mountain Dew ’Every 10 Min’ Giveaway http://www.every10minutes.com If this date is changed there will be a version 2 release of this Widget. Keep an eye out for my Nintendo Revolution and Sony PS3 Widget, This is my first Widget, I hope everyone likes it.

"Yeah, that's a good idea. I'm going to make a widget and release it *before* it's even useful."

Sheesh. Talk about jumping the gun.

[scratt]

That is soooooo cooool....

I might add a feature in v2 of my "Is the computer on or off Widget".
What it will do is count down to the estimated time that you are going to turn your computer off at...

[ghoti]

And if you don't, it'll do it for you!

[nmkramer]

Found yet another useless (and offensive) widget, thanks to Freeverse:

Jared Widget

[dusanyu]

I tunes widget think about it if i have i tunes OPEN why the heck do i need a widget to control it?

Hypnotoad: What is the point?

Apple Logo : OK the apple logo is cool. I love apple as much as the next mac user But is is already Glows on my powerbook it is also on my Monitor, Keyboard, Mouse, G5 Tower, My iPod and even the back window of my Car Why would i want it on my dashboard? Hello i already know i am using a Apple Computer!!!!!

Golden Girls : ...?


X-Wing : One can Go a little too far with Fandom this proves it.

[HOM]

They are all useless.

[ghoti]

Originally Posted by dusanyu Why would i want it on my dashboard? Hello i already know i am using a Apple Computer!!!!!

This is for the new Macs that will have the "Intel Inside" sticker!